This blog is so wrong on so many levels

[showtunesgirl]

boldanddetermined.com/2012/11/29/how-to-meet-shy-girls/ Do people genuinely believe this crap?

[OneHandFlapping]

Jeez, what that guy needs is a blow up doll - the ultimate "shy girl", with no slutty emotions whatsoever. He certainly shouldn't be allowed to inflict himself on a real woman.

Sadly, a lot of men seems to think like this. Or maybe I've just been unlucky.

[SerenityX]

TheOrignalLadyFT

You hit the nail on the head. Guys who tend to this have massive self esteem issues of their own. Their insecurity leads them into playing manipulative mind games and projecting their feeling of inferiority onto other people. The dangerous part is that the feeling of power can be addictive. The contol can also escalate in deviousness & systemic abuse.

Only a very small minority of guys who get into this crap turn bad but some turn very bad. Ted Bundy - America's charming serial killer.

Fortunately most guys never very good at it and have underlying good intentions of just wanting to get a girlfriend and after a bit of initial success their self confidence grows that they do not need this anymore.

[SolidGoldBrass]

I think Serenity is actually saying that this man is a knob, not that he's 'right'. And it is true, unfortunately, that some of the tactics he seems to be advocating would work on vulnerable, unhappy people (whether that's to get sex from them, get money from them or generally gain power over them).

But people are not 'hardwired' to victimhood, and can learn to laugh at and walk away from predators. And many con artists are actually rubbish at the 'art' and the response they get is mockery rather than compliance. So in fact publicising blogs like this and laughing at them is a good way to encourage other people to react to this sort of approach in a healthy way ie with derision.

[TheOriginalLadyFT]

You only have to look at the language used - that women are manipulative, devious etc, without any irony that the entire blog is about how to manipulate women into a relationship.

I actually find this sort of thing quite frightening - men like this do not like women, and it's not a big leap from saying/thinking unpleasant things to acting them out

[alexpolismum]

I just showed this to my dh. He said "Is this a wind up? Or is the writer an inadequate teenager who has watched too many romantic comedy films, they always have shit plots like this"

[WitchOfEndor]

When you finally do get in you?ll have the pleasure of saying, into her ear, ?you?re my property now?.

[FloraFox]

If you think that's bad google MGTOW. That's where these PUA losers end up when they can't make it work.

serenity I found most of your post very interesting though I'm not buying the hardwired bit for hunter behaviour. "Evolutionary psychology" is inherently not scientific as the subjects can't be studied. Maybe in a few million years scientists can look at our studies of ourselves now and come up with something. Now it's just theorizing based on assumptions, usually deeply sexist ones.

I did like the article about the type of women a users are not attracted to.

[PretzelTime]

Which article was that Flora?

[FloraFox]

voices.yahoo.com/relationships-women-whom-abusive-men-would-never-date-6583654.html?cat=41

This one pretzel

[FloraFox]

voices.yahoo.com/relationships-women-whom-abusive-men-would-never-date-6583654.html?cat=41

Gah link fail

[AnyFucker]

hmm, flora

In agree with some aspects of the article in your last link, but it's a bit victim-blaming for me

[AnyFucker]

I not In

[AbigailAdams]

I think the article is a pile of victim-blamey crap tbh.

[AnyFucker]

AA, say what you mean, stop holding back

[FloraFox]

The loser in the OP is doing exactly what is discussed in the article and writing a charter for other abusers to do the same thing. There are actually quite a lot of these fuckwits doing this game bullshit and others for whom it just comes naturally.

[FloraFox]

I'm really interested AA and AF how you think we should deal with these losers and how do we reach our daughters and young women to deal with them without being victim-blaming?

[FastidiaBlueberry]

We need to focus on the abuser's behaviour instead of that of the potential victim.

That article, part of the problem with it, is that it's wrong. I only read the first few para's because life is short, but this idea that abusers don't like "strong" women who will give their opinion - this is just incorrect. Many abusers get turned on by the idea of "taming" a strong woman. The idea that they're all looking for "shy girls" like this lunatic in the OP, is just wrong.

[FloraFox]

Ok so some will target women with low self-esteem and some might get off on taming a strong woman. How do we help women avoid both sorts of abusers without victim blaming?

[colditz]

Bwahhhh ha ha ha what a dick.

[AbigailAdams]

I'm a northerner, what can I say AF

[AbigailAdams]

Getting our daughters to recognise red flags, Flora, I'd say.

[FloraFox]

Isn't that what the article is saying though - these are the warning signs.

[AbigailAdams]

Well it didn't come over to me that way. It seemed to be all about how the abuser will change according to your reaction to his behaviour. Which is bollocks. Dangerous bollocks at that.

I just skim read though so I'll read it properly now.

[FloraFox]

I didn't read it that way, which would be awful and dangerous nonsense. I thought it was more like: if he says something negative, call him on it. Then keep your guard up. If he doesn't do it again maybe it was just a one-off but if he keeps it up LTB. More about identifying them rather than changing. I'll read it again. Maybe I picked it up wrong. The idea that you can change an abuser is one of the things we should teach young women against.