1 in 7 men in UK admits to having used a prostitute

[EatsBrainsAndLeaves]

I was taken aback to read this survey in which 1 in 7 men admits to having used a prostitute. That means I and all of us, must know men who have paid prostitutes.Does anyone else find that shocking?

www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/oct/20/trafficking-numbers

hedidit
I don't believe that all prostitution is rape. You only have to look at punting forums to see prostitutes enjoying banter with male posters and gushing how much they love their job and how most of their clients are lovely and they can see beyond their beer belly, bald head and yellow teeth. While I don't quite buy into all that, it is clear that these woman are working as prostitutes of their own free will. These are not trafficked or coerced woman. I'm not downplaying the fact that there are many women working against their will. There are also plenty that aren't.

Oh and btw, why do all sex workers think that anyone who objects to prostitution and particularly if they post on mumsnetting are ugly, boring, mummy and hate sex and men? Cracks me up. For the record although I am a mother who loves her children I don't talk about nappies all day. I dont bore my partner. I work, have other interests and I haven't stopped investing in my relationship just because I have children. I make a huge effort with my appearance and sex life. Oh and I don't read the Daily Mail.

even one in ten sounds like a lot to me

However it does seem to say "has used a prostitute" so I suppose it would include a man of 80 who went once when he was on National Service, and never again. I wonder if there are any variations by cultural group.

I imagine life would be pretty sad for a man who thought a prostitute would make it better, but no doubt there are other ways of loking at it.

Accoding to a certain 'punting' forum,us mums/mumsnettets are jealous of prostitutes and see us as a threat!
Sorry,not me.my dears. I have a great relationship with my very long term dp and lovely children.

I make a big effort in how I look( for me) and a big effort in our relationship. And so does he. He fancies me lots. A prostitute is going going to tempt him away from me unless he wants to be tempted. And if so, more fool him.

Its a bit of a myth that all mothers lose their sex drive and that all escorts are more fun than 'regular' women. Not in my house. Just something that prostitutes tap into to convince men and something men like to convince themselves of. Reality is that their wives just dont fancy them.

CarmenElectra

I make a big effort in how I look( for me) and a big effort in our relationship. And so does he. He fancies me lots. A prostitute is going going to tempt him away from me unless he wants to be tempted. And if so, more fool him.

This is one of the biggest myths. Prostitutes tempt no one away. Men go online and actively seek them out.

Even I would seriously doubt EVERY husband has played away either paid or unpaid but there are a high proportion that do. Having great adventurous frequent sex is no guarantee that your guy will stay faithful, sad but true. This goes for prostitutes too, often they have partners, sometimes they know what they are doing but most of the time they don't and they are at as great a risk of being cheated on as any woman not on the game.

There are no great sexual secrets laid at your feet once you enter this profession I agree, guys just sometimes want to have sex with someone different for a change if they are married or even just have a bonk full stop. You may not have locked down your lady bits after the children came along but a lot of women do, firstly temporarily from sheer exhaustion of a baby and then it just kind of drags on till its been several years, the wife thinks the husband doesnt fancy her anymore when in fact he does and the husband thinks he had the last shag of his life just before the baby was born.

As you have clearly been on that forum you should read further. You will see men say countless times that the sex they have with their partner is precious, intimate and means the world to them but they just arent allowed it anymore for whatever reason.

Nice porn star name by the way.xx

If there are issues in a relationship the man either needs to confront those, leave the relationship, or accept them. Issues are never an excuse to use a prostitute

I would say no way 1 in 7.It totally depends where you live/lifestyle

One in seven is 14%

But the doc linked by ecclesvet says " around 4 per cent of men reported paying for sex in the past five years and about 1 per cent reported paying for it in the previous 12 months...although the true figure could be higher or lower"

how reliable is the 14% figure?

Hedidit, sorry I didn't make myself clear!

I meant a man won't be tempted unless he wants to and he goes looking for it. Prostitutes don't lure men in, men seek them out.

Yes I have read of men who miss sex with their wives. I have also read plenty who pay for sex in spite of a good sex life. Men who prefer yonger women for sex and who have no shame in their double standards, that they have gotten older and fatter too!

What annoys the hell out of me is support for men who are basically just cheating. Even if the wife puts a ban on sex after kids (I don't buy into this either and I don't know any woman in real life that has done this)then he shouldd sort it. Address it and move on. Its patronising to hear a man describe how he loves his wife and she is his best friend but due to no sex he pays for sex rather than leave or have an affair. How sweet.

I have no dog inthe prostitution fight.

It is untrue to say no women restrict sex after (or even before) childbirth.

The man should sort it and move on? And most likely lose his home, and significant access to his children? Yeah, that' s straightforward. Not.

Plenty of women DO restrict sex for all sorts of reasons. So do plenty of men.

So a man in a sexless marriage decides to stay rather than confront the issue or leave his wife. Then sees prostitutes to get the sex. And if his wife finds out, will he STILL lose his house and kids. Yes and he will look like a total loser.

I seriously wonder why some men get married.

And I seriously wonder why prostitutes or ex prostitutes want to come on here and support their 'clients'. Proper ass licking. I do not understand why they want to invade mumsnet as we are all frigid old hags lol. Maybe some mumsnetters are their wives, do they not think that?!

I could invade grunternet, but would not be allowed or banned. Wonder why?

Men who have plenty of sex with their wives/partners use prostitutes. Prostitution is not a problem caused by uptight wives who refuse to put out for their dear hubbies.

All you can know about a man who uses a prostitute is that he's paying for sex. You can't assume anything about his wife or partner. And you can't assume that he tells the prostitute the truth, the full truth and nothing but the truth about his relationship with his wife or partner.

Those type of men are even worse, they can't even use the excuse that they have no choice. These type of men most definitely not commit to a relationship and mug some poor women. Either be open or don't commit

carmenelectra

There was a random female joined that site once because she found the web url in her husbands laptop history so decided to see what he found so enthralling. She got a lot of stick because of her rather instulting views but she wasnt banned. Her views were welcomed by some as a fresh perspective. The simple fact is that you are discussing something most of you only understand from flawed studys or the television so I think it would be obvious that someone, more than one I notice, would come along to throw a few alternate truths into the caulden. No one industry has just one side to it...same here.

hedidit
It does interest me to a degree as to why men see prostitutes, particularly those that claim to be 'happily' married.

However, so long as it isn't my partner it doesn't trouble me too much as there are many aresoles out there. And yes, you may laugh but I am satisfied that I have a faithful man and we have a happy relationship. He has the same morals as me and its a subject that we have discussed many times. I'm sure as I can be.

Carmen I am glad your partner doesnt use prostitutes.

However, I am concerned about other men that use prostitutes. They are real women being raped and abused. Because whatever some prostitutes or ex prostitutes say about being happy hookers, the majority are abused. I care about them and dont want any man to be using them.

realitychecker

Can I ask you something? Do you not feel ashamedr embarrassed that the women that you pay for sex are only pretending to enjoy it(most probably)? Even if you are not fat, old ugly or have bad hygiene they still probably wouldn't have chosen to have sex with you.

I do not think That I could truly enjoy sex with some gorgeous man who was only doing it because I'd given him a hundred quid. Do you not prefer to have sex with someone that really fancies you and is genuinely turned on? Or is it just about ticking off a list of fantasies.

Please don't say men and women are different because women like casual sex too and I have had my share of casual partners, but they are ones I chose. And plenty of men would surely be turned off with a woman pretending to enjoy sex no matter how good an actress.

Whoops! Wrong thread! :)

Hello everyone. I'm a man and use a prostitute and thought I would let you know why.

Sometimes as a single man, I get bored of masturbation and would like to have sex. However to have sex i would normally need to be in a relationship or to go to clubs etc and pick up a girl.

I don't want to be in a relationship,to have kids or get married and so it would be wrong to get in a relationship purely for sex. I also hate going out attempting to pick up girls as I hate clubs and the whole scene.

So I use a prostitute, to satisfy a need. I have also personally known this girl for a long time, long before she started doing this. I know her very well, I know that she has a boyfriend , who is fine with it, I know she has a part time job and does this just for some extra cash. She is not being exploited, she enjoys it and only goes back to nice, trusted clients. She could get a full time job but she says that this is much more fun.

In this case, I don't think there is anything wrong with what I am doing but perhaps you have a different view.

I'm a man, and I have never used the services of a prostitute. Nor have any of my male friends, as far as I know. Knowing how conversations amongst men go, I would be surprised if this sort of thing hadn't been talked about. 1 in 7 seems a very high ratio to me.

"I don't think paying for sex is ever acceptable.

Not in the world that we live in. "

Do you just mean a straightforward cash transactions, or does buying drinks for a ONS count too?

A former work colleague of mine admitting to seeing a prostitute. We were out on a work do and he was pretty drunk. I can't remember word for word but what he said was that he could tell as soon as he went into her room that she was being held there against her will and she seemed young and very unhappy. He was complaining that the experience upset him, but he had sex with her anyway - as he had made the effort to get there. In my book, that's rape. He didn't understand why I was shocked! I would never ask another male acquaintance if they had used a prostitute, I'd just rather not know.

Widow Wadman - I don't think it counts, unless you had explicitly agreed that paying for drinks was a payment for sex. If someone bought me a drink while I was out I wouldn't feel obliged to go and have sex with him! Mind you, I don't accept drinks from men for this very reason - there are weirdos who seem to think that buying someone a drink is in fact a deposit (or full payment) for sex!

What would you think of a man who had like social problems I.e ASD about using prostitutes?

adultwork.com is a scary website. I reckon more than 1 in 7 men use prostitutes. They conceal it well. They're hardly going to go home and casually drop into conversation, "oh, by the way honey, I paid £x for a quick shag today".