1 in 7 men in UK admits to having used a prostitute

[EatsBrainsAndLeaves]

I was taken aback to read this survey in which 1 in 7 men admits to having used a prostitute. That means I and all of us, must know men who have paid prostitutes.Does anyone else find that shocking?

www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/oct/20/trafficking-numbers

One of the things prostitutes say, is how normal and respectable most of the men are. They come from all walks of life and do all sorts of jobs.

It's probably easier for men to dehumanize/not have empathy for women from a foreign culture.

God FoodUnit, that is depressing re the paratroopers. The reputation of UN peacekeepers re paying for sex (or indeed just raping women) is pretty horrible too.

They come from all walks of life and do all sorts of jobs.

Doh! How is that going to help with 'guess the punter'?

The reason all prostitution is rape is because any sex that a woman does not truly consent to or can not consent to, is rape.

Many prostitutes are trafficked and forced to have sex with men i.e. are raped.

Many are dependent on alcohol and drugs and so meaningful consent is a fallacy. They are desperate for money and will do what they need to get it.

Others are controlled by abusive and violent "boyfriends" and so again meaningful consent is a fallacy.

The incidence of ongoing child sexual abuse and mental health problems amongst prostitutes is extremely high and thus it si questionable whether they can meaningful consent.

There may be a tiny number of women a la Belle De Jour who can meaningfully consent, but in general having sex with a prostitute is raping her. And many ex prostitutes will say that they experienced each act of sex as a pay per rape, even if they nominally consented at the time.

I think there are many reasons why some punters particularly like to buy sex provided by women from particular ethnic backgrounds, Eats. No doubt sometimes this does have to do with these men finding it easier not to empathise or feel watched or judged by the woman providing the sex.

Frances - sadly that is probably true

"So once a lapdance becomes affordable it magically loses any trace of seediness?"

lastmango I don't know, you'd have to ask them.

This doesn't surprise me.

Probably more older married men than we'd like to think.

"One of the things prostitutes say, is how normal and respectable most of the men are. They come from all walks of life and do all sorts of jobs."

I seem to have a bit of a nose for these things (I s'pose I feel something in my water) - for example my friends husband who has used prostitutes in the past, I just didn't like him when I met him, and when I found out he had it was totally consistent with who I see him as. He has a very respectable job/presentation, but I didn't trust him. I'm sure there are some users I would be surprised by, but I find their willingness to treat someone that way clings to them like a film of grease over their skin.

Also prostitutes only see these men in the context of their prostitution, they don't see how they chat to their mates, etc, where you get the glimpses into their ways.

I am sure that men who are generally disrespectful of women, will be more likely to use prostitutes. But those men are not the oddballs and outsiders that some might like to think. The numbers of men who use prostitutes are extremely high - these are ordinary men.

The men I know all went to Amsterdam on kind of 'stoner' lads weekends, and initially looked at the women in the windows like a kind of freak show. And then they'd think, 'would I? Could I?' From that, they would 'try it out'. I'm sure most would never have thought of buying a prostitute if it wasn't so open and normalised in Amsterdam

What if the 'man' was 17/18 yo?

Amsterdam legalised prostitution and are now having to put some controls in because of the massive problems it brought. Legalisation does encourage everyone to see prostitution as normal - just another service. I read, I think in the Sunday Times?, that research showed about a third of prostitutes in Amsterdam were trafficked. So the men you know may have been paying to rape women literally physically kep prisoner and forced to have sex with many men.

LST - You think a 17/18 year old is exempt from judgement?

One of the men that I know who has used prostitutes seems very proud of it. He talks of his trips to Thailand with a sneery, creepy glee.

He also calls women sluts and whores if they engage in sex with his friends.

He's a real charmer.

He also calls women sluts and whores if they engage in sex with his friends.

The lack of insight of these men is astounding. Do they ever look in the mirror and see what they are i.e. male sluts.

Never been keen on male sluts myself - always feel they could with a good hosing down in cold water.

about a third of prostitutes in Amsterdam were trafficked. So the men you know may have been paying to rape women literally physically kep prisoner and forced to have sex with many men.

Exactly. And it's punters' willingness - actually, their desperate attachment - to turning a blind eye to this fact that's so horrific.

I do wonder if the problem with trafficking is in fact any less here in the UK where prostitution is more 'hidden'. My gut feeling is that in fact trafficking is less well recognised, but just as prevalent.

I suspect it is as prevalent in terms of % of prostitutes, but that the numbers are lower. Because legalisation in Amsterdam has increased the amount of prostitutes there.

I would have thought it less exploitative to visit a prostitute in Britain, where it's a legal act, and there's a chance that they may not be controlled, than going to some sex-in-the sun paradise to exploit the poor and vulnerable.

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-who-travel-for-sex-sun-sea-and-gigolos-407202.html

I note particularly Jacqueline Sanchez-Taylor, argues that ..., ?The fact that parallels between male and female sex tourism are widely overlooked, reflects and reproduces weaknesses in existing theoretical and commonsense understandings of gendered power?[and] sex tourism

Eats, I hope that's true, but I find it hard to believe that in reality NL has more prostitutes per capita than UK. (More than happy to accept this if there's strong reason for this claim - which isn't a way of 'demanding evidence' btw, just that I'm not so sure, IYSWIM.)

Perhaps its not Mango - you may be right.

Sad and shocking statistic. Exp had paid for sex. Allegedly only on one occasion but I'd not be at all shocked if it was more - stag weekend in amsterdam blah blah. I was horrified I still am.
To me, there is something very unethical about paying to sexually abuse another human being. That's what is it is, trafficking or not.

I'm single now and hope to date again post partum. This time paying for sex will be an absolute deal breaker however great the bloke seems - never again. I will ask the question early on too. I'm hoping the mr rights will be horrified at the suggestion.

I has a bf years ago who was a bit of a flash git - needed cash and a lotus to feel like a man etc etc. he went on a lads holiday to Prague with similar friends. When he returned he confessed v privately how shocked he was that all the others sole intentions were to pay prostitutes every night out there. Like he has missed the point of the trip entirely. He was visibly disturbed by the experience and had sat in his own in a bar each night whilst his friends did that. Not all men need to follow the pack luckily.

Most men wouldn't fill in a questionnaire so I doubt whether it is anything like that number.

It is always exploitation - it is entirely unacceptable to buy another human being- which is what is happening.
It is also deeply hypocritical if you wouldn't want your own DC to be used in this way to go and use someone else's DC.