Pokes head in wonders if she's going to get flambeed ... I'm floundering with this one it's thrown me a bit

[hathorisaskingaquestion]

Not a fred about a fred.

Well it is, sort of.

There's a thread at the minute about how some woman dumped a guy because he had a small dick.

I try to impress on DDs (and DSs) that they are what they are and that they shouldn't conform to society's ideals of how they should look, the size of boobs/bums/willys doesn't matter.

How do others deal with this? Is it a feminist issue if it's all about the menz

But it feels like a double standard on the thread to me what feminist links can I quote to show how ridiculous it is? Whether male or female or intersex or anything to be judged on the size of any appendage?

It's the focussing on a physical attribute, Whatme.

I just would feel so upset if it was DD and the size/slackness of her vagina.

And I think it's similar.

It's possible that the owner of the penis in the OP had been feeling for a while that sex wasn't great because he didn't get much sensation and was wondering how to call it off.

Hopefully they will both meet people whose parts are a better fit.

I don't think that most men would have too many qualms about dumping a woman who didn't do it for him in the bedroom.

Agree SQ

It's the focussing on a physical attribute, Whatme. I just would feel so upset if it was DD and the size/slackness of her vagina

You're overthinking this, there are a million reasons why 2 people may not get it together, all valid. If a woman is not being satisfied then there is as little reason why she has to hang around as if she found his personality irritating or he had BO. Did the OP have the choice - yes. Did she exercise it - yes.

He needs a woman who isn't fussed about small willies, she needs a man who can fill her neeeds. They are both free to find one afaics.

Therefore l really don't see what its got to do with Feminism.

Possibly Whatme.

So using that analogy it would be OK for a man to post on here that he dumped his GF because her vagina was too slack?

Well no.

But I'm sure that you can find plenty of websites which are 99% male, where comments like that are made, and far far worse.

Not that two wrongs makes a right... But still.

I think we need to conclude that women are horrible because they dump men for having small willies and we're all equal now.

So using that analogy it would be OK for a man to post on here that he dumped his GF because her vagina was too slack?

No man would say that cos his mates would tell him is willy was too small :o

I don't quite know what your point is though.

Do you believe that people who find they are sexually incompatible must stay together? Or are you arguing that women and men can't say what they think about sex in case someone is upset, so should use euphemisms?

I don't know

I can see if you have boys it would be upsetting to think of.

But people get dumped for all sorts of reasons - and men being dumped for small penis is surely a tiny (no pun intended) proportion?

I mean, if a man gets dumped because he's boring, or controlling, or annoying, or no fun, or slovenly, or any of a vast number of reasons, that is really awful too! And also not all things they can do anything about.

Like someone who is into model trainsets needs to look a little bit harder for someone who also is into that, or at least tolerant - so a person with an unusually small member needs to look a little bit harder (again no pun intended!) for someone who is happy with it. Don't you think?

I don't believe anyone dumps anyone else solely and purely because of a small penis or any other small or big body part, unless there is other stuff that also makes them not want to continue with that relationship, or unless they are extremely shallow in which case the person being dumped has had a lucky escape, or unless they genuinely are going to have a terrible sex life for the rest of the relationship in which case I think it's justified.

Sometimes body parts just don't fit. I actually know someone who dumped a bloke because his penis was too big - it was enormous and it hurt her to have PIV sex with him.

And no, I don't have his number.

YY plenty of people dump blokes because they are too big.

Hathor what does that make you think, do you think?

I don't think a bloke with a too big dick would be mocked in the way the too small dicked man would be

I don't know.

It just seems similar to the pressure on girls to conform to a body size/image/look.

and I don't like it.

Ahem - I have done a little Feminist Analysis here:

Liberal Feminists - all cocks are equal (but some are more equal than others....)
Marxist Feminits - to each according to her neeeeeds
Libertarian Feminists - I choose that one. No, that one, or, um...that one.
Eco-Feminists - can a cock be part of a vegan diet?
Sex Positive Feminists - a cock in the hand isn't as good as one in the bush
Radical Feminist - cocks are merely tools of The Patriarchy

hee hee

I don't believe anyone dumps anyone else solely and purely because of a small penis

But I've already said I have done! FWIW, I've also dumped boyfriends whose members were too big for me. I imagine I've been dumped for reasons of sexual incompatibility, too.

Neither I nor my exes have ever been so mean as to state the actual reason - it's an intrinsic part of who we are, same as a sense of humour, cultural preferences and so on. Would be vile to say "You're too big /small /floppy /unsophisticated /thick /etc." But they are still valid reasons to discontinue a relationship.

It just seems similar to the pressure on girls to conform to a body size/image/look.

Not unless men are now going round with their penises on public display!

They all suffer the cosmetic pressure you refer to, Hathor. Just that girls suffer a lot more of it.

On the Whatme Feminist Penis Assessment Scale, I appear to be a marxist, sex-positive, radical feminist That would create a deal of inner conflict!

That would create a deal of inner conflict!

Only if its big enough :o

but not too big

For me the issue isn't really whether you should or shouldn't stay with a man who doesn't satisfy you sexually (noon elses business but the individuals involved), but about objectifying language.

So, hilarious as it may be to talk about needle dicks and do the little finger wagging thing as shorthand for a man being a loser or otherwise inadequate, maybe that's perpetuating the idea that smaller willies are useless, which must be pretty mortifying if you've got one.

That's quite a funny thread!!

Well I never dumped any man only because he had a small penis although I felt uneasy to stay around a guy who had a big one Once the relationship fell apart, the guy with the big penis went into the bin anyway, no matter what (I'm not even the only one because a friend of mine did the same). Honestly, penis' size never mattered, compatibility yes.

I didn't have time to check the other thread but I agree with who said that we teach to young girls to detach themselves of all the stereotypes about big boobs/arses/etc and then there are women dumping men because of their intimate parts. Appalling.

I agree that equating large penis/hardness with "good" and the opposite with "bad" is just...well, silly and not great from a feminist point of view. Someone I know once described a film as "limpdick film" because, I don't know, it wasn't just people shooting each other. That just exemplifies the penis-worshipping attitude of the patriarchy IMO, and man good/woman worthless kind of crap.

So, the language used is often really rude (and not in a good way :o) and making a connection between big cocks and other desirable, er, attributes is stupid and negative (both for women and men). BUT if someone has a quality which FOR YOU is a deal-breaker, whether that's having a small penis or an annoying laugh or bad taste in sunglasses or WHATEVER then of course you can break up with them. Accusing women of being "shallow" is just, to me, another way of saying "women have to be nice and appreciative of any man who points his cock in her direction, and take it as a compliment, how dare she have needs and opinions of her own?"

There's a man who wants a relationship with me in whom I'm not at all interested. The number of people who've implied that because he's "nice" I'm basically a bit of a bitch not to forget my own feelings and get together with him is :(.

Surely it's predominantly men who make the big cock = good small cock = bad stuff?

I have heard men joking about each other having small willies loads, it's a standard thing isn't it?

And they compare themselves to men in porn films as well.

All the creams and lotions and contraptions supposed to make it larger - it often strikes me that the idea is to have a large penis for the sake of having a large penis, rather than even seemingly relating to sex at all IYSWIM.

Most women I imagine prefer a standard one, within the range of normal, and not at either extreme, whether large or small.