Fifty Shades

[neveravictim]

I know this has been talked about alot but just wanted some advice. As a victim of rape the idea of submissive sex makes me feel very uncomfortable but all my friends are reading this. So do you think it is a book I should read too. Is t really about women's empowerment? Have nc btw. Thank you x

agreed SGB

ok pubes, talk to you soon.

one of the problems that I personally see with the "mainstreaming of BDSM" is that creepy people desert their "specialist" sites to come and hang around mainstream sites like Mumsnet

and nobody bats a fucking eyelid

Totally agree AF!!!

AF: I have been on MN for years, quite possibly even longer than you have. While it's up to you whether you consider me creepy or not, I don't think that using other websites means I am Not Allowed to use MN.

don't be silly, sgb, you are on my fb, FFS

I didn't even bother to say I wasn't talking about you, because I think it's quite clear I am not

SGB - Did you read the links upthread about people in BDSM community talking about the prevalence of abuse and consent being ignored and how the BDSM community cover this up?

BDSM.

Bondage,Dominance,sado masochism.

Fucking lovely.

Just what you'd wish for your daughter.

That's a pretty damning thing to say about something that people consensually enjoy, EchoBitch.

I seriously don't care what my parents wish for me, my sex life is, obviously, none of their business. Would be a bit weird if it was.

Whatever turns you on yellow.

It all seems a bit tragic to me.

Echobitch: Well you don't have to do it then. Plenty of things that other people do seem entirely tragic to me (monogamy, religion, football, watching Jeremy Kyle).

Also FFS! Romantic vanilla heteromonogamy is a relatively recent invention and a tool of the patriarchy, enabling men to benefit from women's unpaid domestic and sexual servicing. AF, you and one or two other regular posters on this board practice romantic heteromonogamy despite the fact that other women are frequently beaten and even killed by their husbands. I'm prepared to believe (and indeed, to hope for the sake of your wellbeing) that your relationships are safe and life-enhancing and they work for you. People who are into swinging and BDSM can also be decent, ethical happy people who don't harm their partners.

sgb, I didn't say they couldn't

I haven't criticised BDSM on this thread, only the kind of people whose "mild compulsion" with it triggers their thread about sex, oo, oo, oo, geddinthere klaxon and compels them to come and make all kinds of shite pronouncements in a place where they are repeatedly told they are not welcome

of course, this is an open site, and this is a free country blah blah blah but you do have to wonder about the thought processes behind that, if indeed there are any that connect with a brain cell at all

blokes who wank over telling women how things are in a female-dominated space....just what this site needs (not)

and no I am not talking about you

EchoBitch - I thought we (as in the FWR board) had reached some sort of point in the last week where we didn't sling personal insults about. It's a shame you feel that that doesn't apply to you.

Because personally, I don't care what you find tragic. Why on earth would I? So what does it add to the debate?

Absolutely nothing.

AF - yes, there always seems to be those who only stick their head up when there's a sex thread. And when they can tell women how they should be doing it.

AF who are told repeatedly they are unwelcome?

Do you think a survivor of rape has actually appreciated where this thread has gone? She asked a question and most have ignored her while discussing the finer points of BDSM. Do any of you think this could be one of the triggers she was trying to avoid!

I'm really sorry for my part in that crystaldash. No excuse for it. Apologies OP.

Yes, AF and crystal. It shows a lack of respect.

TCM, what was it about the OP that drew your attention ?

agreed, went off on a bit of a tangent, my apologies to the op

AF who are told repeatedly they are unwelcome?

loved the blog

i am starting to feel seriously like the only woman in existence who hasnt read it and has no intentions of doing so.

its not the BDSM thing - its the fact its a badly badly written book based on twilight and thats enough to put me off.

i have read The Story of O, which is a literary classic, but i dont get the whole BDSM thing, im not opposed to some saucy writing, (i bought solidgoldbrass book) i just dont get what about being hit or told what to do is a turn on

id not read it, i cant imagine how if you have been the victim of rape this would be a good read.
its a bad read for everyone by the sound of it!

TCM, out of all the umpteen threads about that piece of crap "fiction" what drew you to this one? There's a whole ream of them all over MN.

AF who are told repeatedly they are unwelcome?

i pretty much only post in the FWR section.

I said yesterdaythat I thought that this debate was in a very inappropriate place and yet it all started up again.

As I said I know there are tangents but while you've all been slagging each other off, most have not offered a kind word to the OP or addressed the delicate and sensitive question she had asked.

If I were the OP I would hide this thread.

Do you feel like you are made welcome, TCM ?