Is sexual orientation a choice?

[WidowWadman]

Julie Bindel seems to think so.

Is it just me or is that actually fairly offensive?

I think NCG is suggesting the media have an image of radical feminists of "dungaree man hating lesbians". He may have used unacceptable language "dyke" but I think it is ok him suggesting the media have such an image.

Which is a disappointing image to have really - I thought feminism had moved away from that image. However it is hard to discuss feminism on forums other than this one as you just get men (and some women) having a go and not listening to anything you say. It's hard to get some people to take feminism seriously.

Hothead, let everyone have their say. You don't have any right to deem what is acceptable or not.

What's not acceptable? NCG suggesting that is the image or the image itself.

The image itself is not acceptable - but that is an image some people think off when they think of radical feminists.

Who do you think is stereotyping?

NCG or the media

I get that - but what is not on?

Well, ncg can post whatever he wants within talk guidelines, just like we all can.

NCG said the media have this image of radical feminists.

Is he incorrect with this image that the media have of radical feminists?

Or is he not allowed to say what image the media have - even if he disagrees with it?

Having read the article again, I think I find it more offensive. She seems to offend every side - heterosexual women for reasons grimble outlines; heterosexual men for being oppressive; bisexual women for not being "political" enough; bisexual women for being psychologically weak and doubting their own feelings; lesbians for being seduced by the media and society into sleeping with men; and everybody else for being judgemental. The only person she doesn't judge is herself and anybody exactly like her.

Agree it's the right-wing media which describes anything they don't agree with as a "lifestyle choice".

That's what I thought, littlemiss, very contradictory article.

I believe that some people's sexual orientation can change over their lifecourse. I've known several women who became lesbians after having very long term relationships with men. I dont think they were 'hiding' their true sexuality before that. I can see how that might come from not 'needing' to have sex with men once you have completed your family.

I've also known women who came out after being sexually abused/assaulted/raped. I've sometimes wondered if they would have identified as straight if it hadn't been for the abuse, as i can see why they wouldnt want to ever be with another man after that.

As well as the heterosexual/homosexual spectrum there is also the asexual/highly sexual spectrum. ie some people may on the surface be in straight or gay relationships but arent actually having any sex. Or then you get other people who have relationships with one gender but sex with another.

Bindel is part of the meeja. She is has quite a lot of influence, including among quite a few MNers who think she is as fabulous as a fabulous thing.

I agree, she plays the "media" game.

And she's really not saying anything that hasn't been said, repeatedly, since around 1980. Can't remember when the Leeds collective published its pamphlet about compulsory heterosexuality, sorry...

Didn't stop some people using far worse language on some of the trans threads, did it? But I agree "dykes" is unacceptable. I do think the image of rad fems is one the media have though which is a shame.

As to sexual identity - I think it's....complicated. I know 1 person whose own experience and lifestyle is totally new to me. I've learnt some new words from them and a whole new lifestyle.

Relationships are complicated too.

Acceptable to me

The term dykes is of course unacceptable but I understood ncg to be saying that is what the media image is. Anyway, can understand its offensive.

Possibly.