Is sexual orientation a choice?

[WidowWadman]

Julie Bindel seems to think so.

Is it just me or is that actually fairly offensive?

She's a moron with two much time on her hands.

I think people should have a choice in who they sleep with, no matter what sex they are or the other person.

I think it matters, it's usually the homophobic right wing which is pretending that being gay is a lifestyle choice.

Can you translate that into English for me, please?

It's the last sentence that offended me the most: "I believed then, and I believe now, that if bisexual women had an ounce of sexual politics, they would stop sleeping with men". That sounds like a judgement of bisexual women to me.

I have thought about this a lot due to some friends various situations.

I believe that sexuality is a spectrum and where you fall on that spectrum is not a choice. If you fall at either end of the spectrum you have no choice but if you are nearer the middle you can choose which kind of person you wish to seek out.

I know gay people who would never have chosen that lifestyle growing up due to the personal pressures it put on them (some lost /nearly lost everything, friends, family, religion, community etc). Bit I also know of 1 person who uses sexuality as more of a political statement than anything else.

I agree with you LittleMiss. Just wonder how long it'll be until someone swings by to say "oh, it's not judging, just analysis"...

I also wonder why people care who other people sleep with that much?

But it is political analysis. Although I think she is being judgemental too.

There is a political side to lesbianism and there is a lesbian side/contribution/role/culture to feminist politics.

I'm loath to discuss it here though because of the atmosphere in here at the moment.

Only4tonight -

I tend to agree with you - probably a spectrum, with a bit of choice/ flexibility in the middle (similarly, from my own and friends experiences growing up).

I understand there is a statistically significant association netween boys having older brothers and being gay. But the link only relates to biological sibs or half sibs with the same mother, not whether boys grows up together - I.e. It is a nature-nurture effect of gestating in a womb that has already carried male foetuses. This obviously isn't a singular explanation, but interesting.

On a practical/ political level I think people should be free to have sex or not with whoever they want to (on a mutual basis...)

Because people might not agree with you beachcomber? That's no reason not to air your view.

There are schools of thought that consider sexuality fluid and that choice comes from how you are raised Who knows? I think you are born as you are fwiw

It's not, er, exactly a new pov though, is it. We've been round this block in feminism many, many times since at least the late 1970s. Back when I was a gel, it was extremely bad form to say you were a feminist if you weren't also a political lesbian. And bi-bashing was rife. Spread AIDS into the community of Good Separatists and all, bisexual wimmin did, allegedly.

At what level does the choice stop though, she (Bindle) was making it pretty clear that lesbians were undermined by some people having both male and female partners. That would imply that those gay people not interested in the opposite gender have limited capacity to live thier lives with out feeling some kind of pressure. I just cannot go along with that.

She also want to equate feminism with being a lesbian movement. That seems again to deny millions of women the autonomy of their own minds.

Just another two-bit hack who adds to the image of radical feminists as sour, embittered, man-hating dykes. Can someone explain this to me please? On the subject of a US survey of 400 lesbian and bisexual women;

'It was also found that "[s]ome bisexual women actually doubt whether bisexual women exist at all." '

Does that mean that said women doubted their own existence? Mind-bending.

I think she is a poor journo hack. I think she seems bitter towards people of a different sexual orientation to herself. I think she hates men. I think she adds to an unfortunate stereotype that the media at large loves to play up when it comes to feminist politics. I am sorry, but that is how I feel, and I don't think it is unfair.

It's not unacceptable... It's their description...

She says Despite huge progress since I came out in 1977, it is still not really acceptable to reject men and choose not to live under their guardianship, whether you are in Saudi Arabia or the U.K.

So she thinks that being a heterosexual woman means living under male guardianship. WAF?

I cannot take a woman that silly seriously.