"You're not like a rape victim"

[BasilBabyEater]

That's what someone said to me years ago, when I pulled him up on some shit he was saying about rape.

I can't remember what shit he was saying exactly; it was probably some rape myth stuff and I pointed out to him that I might be a rape victim for all he knew. And he came back with that. He dismissed out of hand, even the possibility that someone like me could be a rape victim. I was obviously so far from what his idea of a rape victim was, that he could dismiss the idea that I might be one, with no hesitation.

I decided to write something about this - the public perception of a rape victim - and then realised that I didn't have the faintest idea of what it is so decided not to bother. But I wanted to pursue the question.

What is a woman who is "like a rape victim" like? What did you think she was like before you came across feminist ideas? What do you think the general public think a rape victim is like? Do they still have a fixed idea of this? Was this bloke an unusually neanderthallic specimen or was he voicing quite a common perception? Wossitallabaht? Any ideas?

If you could, I'd be interested if you could elaborate a bit more on that Basil. I'm just interested on how your thoughts have progressed.

Well basically I've come to the conclusion that the Madonna / Whore rule, silences rape victims, because most of us are in the Whore category Cailin. Have PM'ed you wtih further thoughts.

Right, this is what I've written as a result of this discussion, Mners.

You're not like a rape victim

Trying not to sound stalkerish here but I would really recommend reading Basil's link, it is well worth it, believe me.

what really annoys me is rape 'jokes' and how if woman object to them men say "o'h woman have no sense of humour". This seems to be on the increase especially amonmgst stand up male comics and internegt chat rooms and it is not clever or funny.

This dropped off my Threads I'm On, but basil, I think you are spot on about the silencing effects and you are doing a fantastic job speaking out against it. [thanks

surf - me too. It's really nasty.

Thx Lrd :)

Agree re rape jokes, I don't know if I'm imagining it, they never seemed to be quite so prevalent and quite so acceptable. We really need to get people to understand that accepting rape jokes means you are supporting rapists and silencing rape victims.

I think they have become trendy. It's nasty ... it's part of that 'look, I'm so post-feminist and liberated' thing.