I agree that it can be a lot more subtle, and that we can all ascribe different motivations to the same event.
I was on the 'small sexual assualts' thread briefly,largely because I think it's important to recognise that whilst I don't identify with the 'all men are potential rapists and women are safe' trope, that that doesn't preclude some men stepping over boundaries in a manner that wouldn't have happened if they weren't men and I wasn't a woman iykwim. And although I am a staunch supporter of dv prevention and refuge, the worst circumstance I have been personally involved in was attempted murder of the husband by his wife (with no aggravated circs). I still recognise that this is not the usual power relation.
That said, I don't really understand how a female is supposed to feel. I don't identify as any particular gender, I am me. So my feminist leanings tend towards the abolition of gender with the exception of pg and bf if appropriate, rather than any specific issues centred on male violence etc. but it's all a means to an end.
I feel the same way about any group that experiences discrimination though, so am equally likely to opine about disability, race, sexual orientation, trans etc. with the added proviso that in most of the above cases, if you happen to be a woman as well, that generally makes any discrimination worse...
Often I think it's about how you rationalise an experience in your own head, and sometimes maybe it's worth unpicking it a bit to see if your gut instinct could be interpreted any other way.
But I am just me. I'm not a typical anything.