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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Tits

88 replies

SamhainSausageFruit · 26/10/2011 01:12

I remember at ante-natal classes when I was expecting DD, they showed the BF video - anyone seen that one?

And I was totally struck by how the breasts all looked, well, 'imperfect'.

Then I realised something: I had never seen real breasts before.

Only inflated implant chests in magazines etc.

Up until that day I thought I had freakish deformed boobs which only surgery could "cure".

I was 25 and thought I was hideously deformed. Makes me feel sad and angry, isn't this the worst kind of misogyny, engendering self-loathing in women, turning us against our own bodies?

OP posts:
KristinaM · 26/10/2011 01:18

I agree with you

Although i am wonderig how you reached the age of 25 and had never seen any real breasts. Did you never go to the gym/beach/use a changing room/go swimming? Did all your friends have fake boobs?

Original poster
SamhainSausageFruit · 26/10/2011 01:22

Well all the swimming pools I've ever been in have seperate changing rooms, didn't go to a topless beach till I was 27, and people tend to keep their underwear on in communal changing rooms (as I recall Topshop used to have, but not been there recently!).

OP posts:
KristinaM · 26/10/2011 01:30

Well even with swimwear or underwear on i wouod have thought you could tell that breast come in various shapes and sizes. But i guess you have had a very sheltered life.. And top shop have cubicles now

Original poster
SamhainSausageFruit · 26/10/2011 08:15

What's your point Kristina?

OP posts:
KRITIQ · 26/10/2011 08:30

I think the op is totally reasonable. I doubt most girls and young women spend much time looking at each other's breast. Swimsuits and bras are designed to make breasts look uniform, so you don't get any true idea what they really look like.

It was only when I trained as a nurse that I realised the variation in appearance of body parts myself. Think of all the airbrushed examples we're exposed to by comparison with real bodies.

I think it was Ruskin who was physically sick on his wedding night when he discovered what his new wife's body looked like, pubic hair and all. He was expecting something like what he'd seen in classical paintings of nudes. Perhaps it's come back to that again.

skrumle · 26/10/2011 09:00

i kind of agree.

do you know the thing that made me think about it recently was the semi-nude pics of scarlett johansson. they were clearly just taken by herself and in the topless shot her boobs looked normal - you get so used to seeing boobs in magazines shaped and hoisted and airbrushed that even women without implants look as though they have "perfect" breasts. i think i'm pretty aware of the impact that the media has, etc but i had clearly internalised that i have rubbish boobs while beautiful people have boobs that naturally sit just below their clavicle...

anastaisia · 26/10/2011 10:37

have you ever seen this site normal breasts gallery?

(possibly not work safe, since it's a gallery of images of totally normal, all different shape and sizes of breasts)

Rollon2012 · 26/10/2011 11:05

i agree op

I looked at that link I still think god I have horrible boobs, their not really nice pear drop shape with a nipple halfway up the boob, I do get very jealous of people with nice boobs.

im a E have bf and being braless makes me feel physically sick, I sleep in my bra , have huge issues with braless, sagging etc would be nice to to be that crazy about it not sure how much the media has to answer for my issues though.

PamBeesly · 26/10/2011 11:11

KRITIQ I read that about Ruskin too. I think breasts are great because they feed. Unfortunately their main purpose is very often overlooked and there sole purpose for many is sexual. The asthetics shouldn't matter, its sad people think they are hideously deformed, glad you know differently now OP :)

startail · 26/10/2011 11:19

I must confess that even at 43 I still have trouble getting my head round the percentage of women with large busts. Mine are a B cup pregnant, BF whatever and even my very large sister is only a C.
I had a collage friend with much larger ones, but she was very much the exception and I never saw her naked.

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly · 26/10/2011 11:24

That a great website thank you.

Rollon2012 · 26/10/2011 11:25

I think its must be some sort of progessive thing startail

many of my slim friends are at least a c some are tiny, it is odd when I see very large women with big busts I think my weight is a variable in my bust size but I have never been 'small' niether has my sister shes a similar size to me, my mum at my age was a b and slim I think generations health deterioating (sp.) adds to this too.

SinicalSal · 26/10/2011 13:59

I'm not too sure about the primary function of breasts is the feeding of infants thing. Obviously it's a very important function - I'm doing it right now in fact - but you only spend a small proportion of your sexually active life bfing. In general, of course.

I'm apparently an e-cup now, and I'm feeding my second child. They do NOT look like magazine boobs. I'm ok about it now, but when I finish bfing and I 'reassign them to other duties' I don't know how I'll feel. They were one of my best features...sigh.

Shakey1500 · 26/10/2011 14:08

To be honest I'm a bit puzzled also why having reached the age of 25 having never seen a real pair of breasts anywhere (films etc?) but however strange, then ok? But also, why entitle the thread "tits"? Isn't that considered a derogatory word for breasts?

VikingLady · 27/10/2011 15:43

I agree with SamhainSausageFruit that you don't really see many real boobs. I'm 31, and I have seen my mum's (who has fab, natural but Page3 style boobs still), a few on a topless beach on holiday, but only the classically attractive girls went topless, and that's it. Films - you only see actresses, who are partly cast on their appearance. If their boobs are not up to standard, they get a body double.

I realised mine were not hideous when I asked my boyfriend about his various exes, and this was affirmed when I watched real life childbirth programmes once I got pregnant.

Before that, I thought I was the only person with triangular, south-pointing boobs.

TeiTetua · 27/10/2011 17:49

Seeing a message from VikingLady reminds me of a cartoon I saw long ago. There was a partly-dressed woman drawn politely from behind, evidently preparing to play the role of Brunnhilde, you know, from Wagner. And she had an electric fire going. And she was holding up a heavy-gauge metal bra in front of it.

nooka · 28/10/2011 06:30

Thanks for that link anastaisia, I really enjoyed looking at all those different breasts and reading what their 'owners' felt about them. I don't think I've seen very many naked breasts at all. Just my mother's really. As my breasts are pretty similar I guess I've never really worried about mine, although I was initially a bit sad when babies put paid to their perkiness :)

I'll probably ask dd if she'd like to have a look, just to get an idea of the huge range of shapes and sizes (she's 11 and just started to really develop).

porceleine · 28/10/2011 12:22

I didn't breastfeed at all for fear of ruining my lovely shaped boobs and encountered much antagonism. Anyone else had this?

SinicalSal · 28/10/2011 12:30

Thing is porcaleine - ruined by whose lights?

I think it's unfair that breasts are only valued when they're ornaments, set aside for attraction, rather than objects to be used in the care of infants. I struggle with it myself, but I do think the concept of ruined comes from other peoples heads not mine. And other people can fuck off Wink (which is what I think MOST of the time but not all)

StewieGriffinsMom · 28/10/2011 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

porceleine · 28/10/2011 12:38

I value looks a fair bit and didn't want to ruin my shape. I appreciate this makes me look selfish but I was worried with how I would look at myself afterwards, plus all the horror stories about breastfeeding you hear about.

I have the most amazing boobs, why would I want to ruin them? And this is not only my own opinion, it is that of my partner too.

porceleine · 28/10/2011 12:41

StewieGriffinsMom: who are you to judge me? Pregnancy hasn't changed my boobs. Ok so they were a bit bigger but soon went back to their normal size. I suspect you just like to judge others who don't share the same views as your own. You are wrong, simply put.

Lifeissweet · 28/10/2011 12:52

I hate to break it to you, Porceleine, but gravity always wins - as does age - and without surgery, one day your breasts may not be the same as they are now.

Mine are pretty big and yet perky, but they are gearing up for a second bout of breastfeeding when my bump is born in Feb. I know that because of their size, their bounciness is not going to last forever. They didn't deflate much after a year feeding my DS, but they may this time.

To me an 'amazing' boob is one that feels good when a partner touches it and which feeds my children. Their sexual function, as far as I am concerned, is about me. They may turn on my partner - but I think he is far more turned on by the effect it has on me when he touches them more than just as something to look at.

When I am old and grey and they are swinging by my knees, I will still be able to look at them and be grateful that they nourished my children.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 28/10/2011 12:54

SGM is right - it's pregnancy that causes the changes. If yours haven't changed much from pregnancy, they'd still look amazing if you had breastfed.

I have amazing boobs too - mine fed two DC for two years each and now I can roll them up

porceleine · 28/10/2011 12:56

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