Can you be a feminist housewife?

[wigglybeezer]

Can you be a feminist if you don't have a career but your DH does, especially if this situation has been going on for a long time (13 years in my case)?

I don't feel downtrodden by the way, merely a bit bored and lacking in choice ATM. I earn a small amount of money, so don't have to ask DH for everything but I'm wondering if my Granny (who was a hospital consultant) was a better feminist than me. I just found a photo of her and her pals at medical school where she has noted on the back that there were 18 female medical students out of 180!

It was just a bit of a light hearted joke given our disagreements on the last thread.

mn neighbour is housewife,thats no direct benefit to me
i work ft,she directly benefits from my tax and ni redistributed to services she accesses.my nursery fees employ nursery nurses and maintain a profitbale business for owner

sahm is directly beneficial to individual family circumstances,but cannot globally say its beneficial for others

Just mulling

about the wider economics of SAHP's. Thrifty, money saving, little discretionary spend, prepare from scratch, make do and mend approach common to a lot of one income families. There was a lot of talk of Time Poor Cash Rich working parents during the boom and now how this will play out now that the economy is sinking. Will we see an effort to play up Housewifeliness to leaved the jobs for the men or is the model of the dual income high spending family still the aspiration.

While I would agree that that is the middle class discourse ("throwing money at the problem" vs "sacrificing nice holidays and new cars"), the reality is of course that many families (most?) where two parents work are time poor and cash poor. It ignores the reality for so many women. I think it is going to be "hard working families" vs "single mothers on benefits" TBH. And MN reflects that. And that too is a feminist debate of course.

That's very true also Becky

ah yes the stereotypical avaricious family.the have it alls.working for bling and consumer durables.

hmmmm

the reality is women work because they want to, and it contributes to family.and lets face it most women are not coining it in,given wage differential between men and women

I don't know if that's at me SM, but when I WOTH it was for mortgage & bills. Since I got made redundant I've contributed financially by doing every costcutting thrifty thing I can. Most people do - most people understand thriftiness is more than cancelling Tuscany this yea.r

if i meant you i would address you.the mn oft touted sterotype of working mums is the outsourcung greedy have it alls

Ok, I haven't come across it before.

I disagree that that is now the common MN stereotype. In fact, I see it touted most often in your disagreements with it. Maybe when I joined, but things have changed. I think Sal's "work to pay the bills" model is the common one on MN. Like I said, now often part of a "hard working families" discourse (not here Sal!!) rather than a WOHM/SAHM debate.

oh lol they outsource everything dont you know
followed by don't know why they have kids if they let strangers watch them

Meh - it's rare. And with "outsourcing" I suspect you are referencing one poster...

you're being too machivellian. outsourcing was explained to me as tasks you dont or cant do and pay someone else for,like childcare.do meander over to any working mum nursery thread,its all there

Who gives a flying fuck whether SAH parents benefit others?
People should do whatever they feel is right for their own families, thats if they are lucky enough to have the choice, the majority of women have to work due to the obscenity that is house prices, most families now need two incomes to afford a house.
SAHMs often go on to caring for elderly relatives too, how much money do you think that saves the country? Much, much more than not paying tax for a few years, that's for damn certain, oh that's right, they get a carer's allowance to live the life of Riley on .

I might not pay tax in my p/t job but what about all the tax on fuel and all the other essentials we have to buy? I've just booked flights and over half the amount was taken in goverment taxes!
The reality is that most women work because they have to - there's very little in the way of choice about it.

its a valid response to the 'ardest job in world speech oft heard.if it suits you and you weigh up pro and cons by all means do it.but for love of god dont make out its something its not eg a job or a sainted act

I'm sorry SM, but it is a job. Real people make childcare their career. it is devalued though as it is seen as woman's work. Hence the low pay grades for childcarers. The people raising the next generation are paid very, very little. This should be of concern for us all.

But you are right, one should weigh up the pros and cons and make the right decision for you and your family.

I was wondering whether 'us' women were different from 'you' women

no,its a set of tasks individually undertaken for your own dc,to your own specific standards.not externally validated or checked by anyone else

a job is set of tasks for salary undertaken to someone else external standards,usually a check and balance that the job undertaken to specified standard

job usually has some kind of regulation and supervision

a job is paid a salary and generates profits.tax and ni redistributed

job has certain minimum standards or time to be completed in

sahm as individual act
no checks and balances and not accountable to external others
unregulated
not paid

paid childcare cm/nn is a job and highly regulated and inspected
sahm is not a job and unregulated

Further up someone mentioned paying extra into her pension and saving up for having children and staying at home etc.

I don't think that this is the solution as it places the full responsibility on thee me while it is the whole family (society really, but let's stick to family) that benefit.

If one parent stays home to care for the children and the home it allows the other parent more freedom in persujg their career. Thereby enriching (ideally) the family. Why should the one adding the value at home also be the one solely responsible for own individual financial security?