Can you be a feminist housewife?

[wigglybeezer]

Can you be a feminist if you don't have a career but your DH does, especially if this situation has been going on for a long time (13 years in my case)?

I don't feel downtrodden by the way, merely a bit bored and lacking in choice ATM. I earn a small amount of money, so don't have to ask DH for everything but I'm wondering if my Granny (who was a hospital consultant) was a better feminist than me. I just found a photo of her and her pals at medical school where she has noted on the back that there were 18 female medical students out of 180!

Oh and what is fab about it is that the state make contributions to the person's state pension whilst they are on leave so they don't lose out there.

How many men take the parental leave in France?

I've not seen a lot of interest from men or women in the UK about sharing the paternity/maternity leave.

I have no idea of any actual figures but I suspect it is very rare for a father to take the leave.

It's not very feminist then is it?

It sounds like it encourages women to be out of the workplace for longer.

Feminism is not about ensuring women WOH as much as possible.

Why a job has to be 'hard' to be recognised? It can be important, fullfilling, beneficial, and lots more.
I personally feel that SAHMs lose credidability when they start the 'its the hardest job' and 'i have to book all the holidays and renew the insurance, you don't know how busy i am' etc. When i was a SAHM (3dcs) it wasn't the 'busiest' time in my life, and not the 'hardest'. But it was probably the most fullfilling (for me). Working in a factory is 'hard' job but doesn't mean it is more fullfilling and stimulating than being SAHM.

Even in paid employment who said that working 'hard' makes you better or more important? Working 'smart' does.

I think that nobody can make a blanket rule about what is and is not the hardest job. We only know what is best for ourselves. I think you can uphold feminist principles, no matter what you choose to do with your life. What is really unfair is that when choice is not there without financial penalties or social condemnation..

Bonsoir

'I don't know any men who have done it but that is kind of another issue. ...'

That's the thing though, I think that IS the issue. And no one seems to want to talk about it.

Why do we still conceive of the role of mothering and fathering so differently, when in every other sphere of life there have been big steps in breaking down distinctions between traditional ideas on men's and women's roles.

Whenever i try to talk about this the discussion quickly flips to WOHM vs SAHM, childcare subsidies, legislation etc. But as you report legislation is fairly ineffective at changing the nature of the balance of childcare responsibility between men and women.

I don't get it. Why does no one want to talk about this issue?

I think until we start saying 'parenting' rather than mothering and/or fathering, we've still got a long way to go. Having said that, my partner and I do parent v differently. Whether that is because of gender or how we were parented (both from v gender-biased households) or even because I spend more time with the children and therefore the relationships and background knowledge is different, I couldn't really say.

Himalaya - there is no political will in France to view childcare as a shared responsibility between parents. Childcare is a mother's responsibility here - "aider les mères de famille" is a commonly-used phrase among politicians and nobody bats an eyelid.

Sorry Truck, I'm not sure I understand you.

I am just explaining that in France, parents are financially helped by the state to stay at home. I'm only saying that because another poster asked way back up the thread of examples of countries which do this.

I agree that this does encourage one parent to stay at home and I agree that this person is nearly always the woman. On the other hand I believe that France has a higher % of women in paid employment than the UK does. I have never closely analysed the reasons for this.