Porn - I use it and feel bad - help convince me porn is wrong

[GuiltyPornUser]

Firstly, sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, although I thought it may be the most appropriate. I'm a married man, and I use porn fairly regularly. It's not something I feel has a massive negative effect on my life, but I feel bad about it. I'm not someone who specially goes out of my way to buy porn, (I've never paid for it), but with the internet, it's only ever a few clicks away.

I want to be convinced that it's wrong. I recently read Andrea Dworkin's book on pornography, but it hasn't stopped me. I appreciate that a lot of stuff on the web is very brutal and degrading to women, but a lot of the stuff is less obviously so.

My DW wouldn't be happy with me using porn, and I want to stop. I want to be convinced that it's wrong, and how I go about stopping using porn, when it's so easy to find on the internet.

There may be some here who think porn is acceptable and I'm just suffering from some almost religious guilt.

I'd really welcome some advice here, because my DW could find out one day and I want to stop.

Rita I'd be very interested to know how you can see so much evidence and still be going 'la la la la la la, I need real evidence'?

What actually is your view here?

This interview with Gail Dines, author of "Pornland" and Professor of sociology and women's studies at Wheelock College.

www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2010/s3031471.htm

"Gonzo is really the body punishing, hardcore imagery. It dominates the Internet today. It is the most profitable for the industry and what the industry says is that Gonzo pornography is the pornography of choice when men are alone.

So really it's swept over. And the reason for that is a lot of soft core pornography today has migrated into pop culture. So the more you have soft core in pop culture, the more the pornography industry is forced to go hardcore as a way to distinguish its products.

TONY JONES: When you say hardcore what do you mean? When you talk about debasing images, just describe the sorts of things that an 11-year-old might access with a couple of clicks of a mouse through Google.

GAIL DINES: OK, well, first of all what's very popular is choking with a penis where the penis is put so far down the woman's throat that it activates the gag reflex. In some cases she actually vomits.

You also see one woman with three men being orally, analy, vaginally penetrated as she's being sometimes slapped, spit on, as her hair is being pulled and being called names like 'whore, bitch, slut, cum-dumpster' and other things I can't say on the television."

Unruly, I'm antiporn here, I'm interested (I'm a scientist and researcher) in getting an objective view on what people are actually watching, not just looking for the worst stuff on the internet - that's poor scholarship.

People are claiming on this thread, without evidence, that the most popular porn is violent. What people are doing is showing that there is violent degrading stuff in the internet.

"most viewed"

"most popular"

I see a connection there, rita
do you not ?

""Gonzo is really the body punishing, hardcore imagery. It dominates the Internet today. It is the most profitable for the industry and what the industry says is that Gonzo pornography is the pornography of choice when men are alone."

More from Gail Dines;

"I lecture to parents groups all across the country - is most parents I meet do not know what their kids are accessing.

They do not know what pornography is because they're older, they were not brought up with this kind of image-based Internet culture and they were shocked to see what pornography is.

I can't tell you again how many emails I get from parents who accidentally stumbled across their teenagers' Internet sites and what they found was hardcore pornography."

I'd argue that if you can get to the violent hardcore stuff without searching beyond putting 'porn' into google that that's evidence. Seriously there's so much stuff out there that anything you can get to in a couple of mouse clicks is VERY mainstream.

Couple that with all the quotes and expert views on here and I think it's a bit obtuse to keep going on about needing proof.

And what about Jenna Jameson? She is the most famous 'porn star' and she was neglected by her father (he mother died when she was two), thrown out by him when she was 16, gang raped as a teenager, raped by her boyfriend's uncle at 16, pressured into stripping by her boyfriend when she was underage, a drug addict and anorexic.

Her films are as mainstream as you can get. People wank to this poor woman re-enacting the trauma of her robbed childhood.

It is sick.

oh why the fucking fuck is this stuff legal?

That doesn't sound much like The Lovers' Guide.

are you ok Stewie?

interesting about Jenna Jameson. I thought it was ironic that she was brought up today on that other thread by a man who was denying that porn actresses have often experienced rape and abuse before entering the industry.

you ok stewie ?

Hey stewie, you OK?

I typed you ok, stewpot? then and changed it

would that have been really bad ?

In "Pornland", Gail Dines talks about how Jenna Jameson is slagged off by much of the porn fuckers crowd for being 'uptight' and thinking she is 'better than other porn chicks' because she only did anal with sextoys and not with men.

The language used about her by these people is disgusting, all about her being 'used up' and making horrid comments about the state of her body.

I know that poor woman has been through enough and nobody should ask anything of her, but she would be such a powerful spokeswoman for women in porn if she ever wanted to.

Beachcomber,

Bullporn is the 12,000th most viewed website in the world, pornhub the 63rd most viewed website in the world. Bullporn is by no means the most popular website out there

Prosperina: look at the TOP TEN list Dittany gave us ffs. Why aren't pro-people required to produce rigorous research to support their argument that porn is harmless. I want to see some. I want the people who defend this stuff to prove that women, children and men are not abused and objectified by this industry. Show me.