Porn - I use it and feel bad - help convince me porn is wrong

[GuiltyPornUser]

Firstly, sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, although I thought it may be the most appropriate. I'm a married man, and I use porn fairly regularly. It's not something I feel has a massive negative effect on my life, but I feel bad about it. I'm not someone who specially goes out of my way to buy porn, (I've never paid for it), but with the internet, it's only ever a few clicks away.

I want to be convinced that it's wrong. I recently read Andrea Dworkin's book on pornography, but it hasn't stopped me. I appreciate that a lot of stuff on the web is very brutal and degrading to women, but a lot of the stuff is less obviously so.

My DW wouldn't be happy with me using porn, and I want to stop. I want to be convinced that it's wrong, and how I go about stopping using porn, when it's so easy to find on the internet.

There may be some here who think porn is acceptable and I'm just suffering from some almost religious guilt.

I'd really welcome some advice here, because my DW could find out one day and I want to stop.

because it's spelt wrong? (should have 2 ns). Is it what an IPhone does instead of zigzaggy underlining?

I always find th. 'jealousy' argument really sad. It says so much about the way the person calling it feels about other women. Is it really so hard to believe that some women actually care about others being abused and exploited? Is the only way we can perceive one another as competition for men :(

(btw I had to check the spelling myself before daring to post that )

Thank-you SSM

takes English teacher training certificate down from wall (metaphorically - it's not really on the frigging wall) and puts it into the 'worthless trash' pile>

Men like looking at attractive women with nice bodies - it's not beyond the realms of impossibility that some less attractive women are jealous of that.

:)

Thing is I obviously always spell it wrong but last time I used it I put it in inverted commas and now my phone thinks that's a word and autocorrects. Not even just a typo :(

i am confused

so feminists are only pretending to be upset at women being coerced into sex or raped and brutalised

really they are just jealous of their looks

presumably if these things were happening to 'unattractive' women feminists would not be quite so exercised

can you hear yourself?

Inmydreamimawesternhero - how do you know whether we [feminists] are "unattractive" or not? What constitutes attractiveness and who decides that? And if men are attracted to "nice bodies" (whatever that may mean) why are most men married to and partners of a whole range of women of many sizes and shapes?

Inmydream the way this works is that between posting random ideas from your mind we also post stuff and it would help the flow of discussion if you would read it.

I'm a 26 year old man. I used porn as a teenager, but then one day I just kind of looked at a porno and thought:

"Why is she doing that? Who is she? What has made this poor girl think that the her only skill in life is to have sex in front of a camera? Is she really that desparate for money? Look at her eyes. She's not enjoying this. She's a prostitute. Just like the poor homeless, abused drug addict who turns to selling her body because she feels it is the only answer."

As you can imagine, I don't feel the need to use such exploitative forms of entertainment now.

Another thing reinforcing this is something that goes back to the days when I worked in a night club... We regularly had stars coming. Mostly D-List TBH. One night was a porn actress. I was shocked to see that the other men had heard of her. Anyway, she was waiting with he body guards (the only one that ever came with bodyguard, if that says anything about how respectfully the industry is seen ), and I was just stocking the bar. I went passed her and looked at her. Her eyes were almost lifeless, if not for the fear an anxiety. You could see how she wanted to hunch and shrink away from anyone seeing her. And that is someone who, I have been told, has been shafted by 5 men at once. Ask yourself how she must feel. What must go through her head. Her demeaner screamed, "abuse victim," more than anyone I've seen. And, believing herself worthless of all other attributes and skills, has turned to allowing herself to be abused day in and day out, believing that the human race still sees nothing wrong with it.

You're misunderstanding what I'm saying -
If I was a female happily employed in the porn industry I'd be a bit pissed off by the feminist view that I'm only there because I'm a victim. Not all women in pornography are victims in need of saving, only there because they have no choice. Fgs if the porn industry was full of 'victims' they'd be more variation in looks. You will never see a fat ugly female on the cover of FHM - because men don't want to look at them - that's what I'm saying.

that makes absolutely no sense Inmydreams. Why do you imagine attractive women can't be victimised?

Inmydreamimawesternhero - Just because their attractive, it doesn't mean they're not victims of some sort. If you were a woman in the porn industry, why would you have chosen that path? Would you chose to do it? If not, then why do they chose to?

'More variation in looks'. You mean there would be porn with older women and fat women and anorexic looking women and pregnant women and black women and Asian women and women who are asleep/drugged and teenage women and disabled women and women fucking animals and women being shat on and women tied up...

Like a range of pornography?

Well you've got us there. Nothing like that on the internet.

Maybe some women see it as a way to earn good money? As simple as that.

And I know there's absolutely everything available, but the vast majority of porn ( and the most popular ) features young attractive women. Just like the fashion and music industry.

Unruly, that was brilliantly put. There's nothing you can't find on the internet. So what if Hustler has a smaller range? You only have to look at the top shelf at you're local off license to see quite a range.

But I don't think the op was talking about just simple nude pictures, was he? I think he's referring to the hardcore stuff you find on the internet.

SGM...good post but I am literally feeling sick now. What kind of perverted world do we live in where men would force women to do that kind of shit (pardon the expression). It's truly awful.

SGM - you have used an extreme example that very few people would get any satisfaction out of. I don't know why you can't accept that most porn is normal stuff enjoyed by normal people.

I don't know what goes on in porn, but from what I've read, most of it isn't that kind of stuff, although coming on someone's face seems to be quite common from what I understand and that is surely degrading.

If porn is such a good career option is it something you're considering for yourself inmydream?

Yes, coming over the girls face happens in almost all hardcore porn. Extremely common is also how many can the girl take at once. Two, three, four or even five men at once is quite common. I belive the world record stood at 320? The actress had to have an operation done because of the damage done to her insides. That's what we're talking about being the most popular.

320?? That cannot be possible... and I bet it wasn't in the Guinness book of records!