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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I don't want to be a feminist

123 replies

ShirleyKnot · 08/04/2011 23:07


I don't. I don't want to see all of this that you bastards have shown me.

I always considered myself to be a

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Tortington · 08/04/2011 23:09

so you are a feminist and wish you werent't im not a femenist i just think people are shit and that based a lot to do with economics

StewieGriffinsMom · 08/04/2011 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShirleyKnot · 08/04/2011 23:10

What The Jeff?

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ShirleyKnot · 08/04/2011 23:11

x posted with you SGM

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StewieGriffinsMom · 08/04/2011 23:13

This reply has been deleted

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AyeRobot · 08/04/2011 23:16

Shirley, I saw what you posted on that other thread and was nodding my head in agreement and thinking about starting a thread like this one. I think a lot of us feel the same way.

I wasn't really a feminist either, although I called myself one. I think it was because I came of age in the riot grrrl (and spice girl, ugh) era and many of us seemed to operate from a position of default feminist. It was hokum.

I'm angry too. And quite down a lot of the time. I don't quite know where I fit in anymore. I don't have any ready answers, either.

Thanks for starting the thread.

garlicbutter · 08/04/2011 23:17

Right, Shirley. First let me say, nay, shout I'M NOT A FEMINIST if Being A Feminist means being everything the regulars on this board are. So I speak not for them! But ... I am a feminist. I get through, when it feels challenging, by imagining myself as an embodiment of those great 70s-80s songs, like "Iam strong, I am invincible ... I am WOMAN!" Indeed, at very challenging moments, I have been known to retire to the loo, take a few deep breaths and SING! Funny - anyone else in there always joins in Grin

Most women are feminists if you poke them a bit. It's not too hard on a daily basis :)

hth (sings)

ShirleyKnot · 08/04/2011 23:18

I think it's custy too - but I don't understand what she's saying to me? Is she saying that economics drive the fact that women being paid less?

Because, why are women paid less than men? we're not less capable. And if it's because we have babies then...well..yeah, but what the fuck will happen if we stop doing that - you know? on an economy drive?

I still want the calm back please Grin

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garlicbutter · 08/04/2011 23:18

ps - I've been meaning to compliment you on your username for about three years now!

ShirleyKnot · 08/04/2011 23:22

AyeRobot - I'm a little bit older than that - I'm more Laddettes generation. The generation who were told that it's ok to be like a man (better that than be an actual young woman eh? a twisted form of feminism if ever I saw one)

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garlicbutter · 08/04/2011 23:23

Does Custardo link herself with a website called carbfree? Confused Hmm

garlicbutter · 08/04/2011 23:25

Oh, twaddle. I was a Power Woman in the 80s and loved it. I do drink like a fish, though. Being able to out-drink the boys was a big advantage. Doesn't make me less of a woman

garlicbutter · 08/04/2011 23:27

Come to think of it, I promoted more young women than young men to greatness in those days. It wasn't gender bias, I just had more talented girls at my disposal than boys - also, fired two of the boys for being sexist. And two of the girls for fucking the clients.

tethersegg · 08/04/2011 23:28

That's really interesting, AyeRobot; it sounds as if we're the same age. It was hokum.

Having a daughter is what did it for me. Changed my view of everything. Everything.

GORGEOUSX · 08/04/2011 23:28

Then, chill out, try and re-connect with your humour genes and get a life.

garlicbutter · 08/04/2011 23:31

You did that on the last thread, Gx. Chill out, get some variety in your heckling Grin

AyeRobot · 08/04/2011 23:31

Oh, that too. I was 18 in 1991, but spent my teens in a single-sex school in Ireland and was a bit sheltered, I suppose. Then came back over here to uni and it was exactly like you say. Feminist by default but with no thinking behind it, apart from we wanna do what men do. I think that's why I feel like a teenager again and am having the kind of existential crisis that I should have had back then when it is to be expected Smile.

Anyway, we can't unring a bell. So, where to from here? I think I need to really bed down my beliefs, so that I can remain calm in the face of opposition and know how to pick which battles to fight and how to fight them.

Beachcomber · 08/04/2011 23:33

I don't think the calm ever comes back really. Sorry!

I think, once, as you say, 'your eyes have been opened' you will be angry and a bit of a misfit (in patriarchal terms) for ever more.

Welcome to feminism sister.

You will lose; serenity, calm, not being fucking angry, being able to enjoy commercial films, not noticing all manner of sexist bullshit, your patriarchal blinkers.

You will gain; being able to chew the fat on feminist chat forums, some liberation and a whole lot of frustration.

It isn't comfortable but it is worth it IMO.

ShirleyKnot · 08/04/2011 23:33

It's not about that though garlicbutter.

My post is about the awful rage that I have, now that I have actually realised that I (brilliant me) am oppressed because I didn't happen to be born with a pair of nuts and a skin chimney. I get paid less, I am expected to look after my wonderful children (boys by the way, who I ADORE and I am grateful that I am their mum) with a massive pricetag attached, which wouldn't be there if I were a man.

That it's OK for massive companies (Boots for example) to show women as cowed slaves to their men "Don't let's tell daddy we bought this perfume for mothers' day" "oh I'm so ill I can't talk properly, but I'm racing around for the family but the HUBBY is at home in bed ARF ARF" DO FUCK OFF.

Don't get me fucking started.

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tethersegg · 08/04/2011 23:34

That's one way. Personally, I'm off to reconnect with my humour genes and get a life, as suggested. Or something.

garlicbutter · 08/04/2011 23:34

Agonise less. Do more.

ShirleyKnot · 08/04/2011 23:36

Cross posted with everyone

(and raged on)

Oh no....but I'm doing a rage on about the government as well - I'm not sure I can slot this in Wink

Horrible. I'm angry.

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garlicbutter · 08/04/2011 23:37

No, no, no, Shirley, I get it! I really do!

In rehab, they have a pat answer for everything. All recovering addicts suffer overwhelming shock when they realise the world they've been 'living' in isn't the same world that's been going on around them all these years - cognitive dissonance in spades. They wail "But I don't know where to start!" The rehab people say ... Start from here.

GORGEOUSX · 08/04/2011 23:37

LOL! Maybe your sons can help you get to grips with things.

ShirleyKnot · 08/04/2011 23:39

Maybe Gorgeousx. Maybe.


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