I don't want to be a feminist

[ShirleyKnot]

Honestly.

I don't. I don't want to see all of this that you bastards have shown me.

I always considered myself to be a

I am angry but quite tired.

I will return with ire.

Aha. They also say "Anger is THE force for change" :)

Have I pissed you off yet?

yew carbfree is me

Enjoy the rage? I rather like yelling at the screen / magazines / etc.

no i am saying its capitialsim is the root of evil not feminism which is why i dont call myself a feminish - which in mumsnet is tantermount to saying you are a bottlefeeder with a tattoo that likes greggs

OK, cheers, Custard :) Will now go & have a look at your blog - though I can't quite imagine a life without carbs!

a bottlefeeder with a tattoo that likes greggs falls around laffing!

... I've visited your blog but only briefly. Can't do Atkins diet because [a] I can't diet as am ex-anorexic, [b] my breath smells already (poverty teeth) [c] I think I might die without cake. Anyway, back to weightier topics

Should have emphasised more: The problem is human nature, not specifically male nature. I also believe women deserve a bigger bite (and am probably more proactive about this than some of you) but not for one second do I think that any newer, woman-friendly, system wouldn't be similarly misrouted by female narcissists & sociopaths. People are people. Most people want to be led. Tragically for hiumans of any gender, the leaders are usually selfish bastards.

All imo, of course. I know I'm in good company.

I agree, I had read for example Dittany's posts for awhile(even before she was Dittany) and disagreed for quite awhile. However after reading so many threads full of articulate educated women totally derailed by some nobber with an agenda, my eyes are wide open. I still disagree with some of her views, but think the hardline is 100% necessary.

I remember one thread, which I think was on here could be wrong. It was about the evolutionary rise of the patriarchy, something about being able to cultivate land and store crops, I can't remember now, but a lot of it made sense. That really opened my eyes and made me think.

I'm miserable about it a lot of the time too, I fail to see with the powerful indoctrination tools of TV and the internet how any mass opinion change could occur .

The time has never been BETTER for feminists! My generation and the one just before it GOT the equal rights, the freedom, the legal protection. Don't any of you younger women see why we get so frustrated by you, who now have the energy and the money and enough voice? What are you doing with it?

OP, I totally understand what you mean. I always rather liked that song "My Life Would Suck Without You" (I like the swoopy rock bits), but yesterday i made the fatal mistake of listening to the words. DH then discovered me shouting at the radio "Your boyfriend's a wanker! Why are you putting up with that?! Your life ALREADY sucks!"

Thank goodness for Annie Lennox and Pat Benatar.

lisa - I liked that song before I heard the lyrics too! "I do not hook up", same artist is much better (all her songs sound the same though!)

I stepped away from this board when I felt angry and despondent. It helped a bit not talking about it all the time. I come on here every day now so clearly the anger/emotion has become easier to live with although I fear i've just got used to it and intellectualised it to protect my feelings.

You swallowed the red pill and I'm sorry but nothing is ever the same afterwards. Try not to be angry - it's a wasted emotion, be calm and rational, it scares the shits out of people much more than angry. Angry (ime) = emotional woman. Calm = scary as all get out.

CalmOrDisappointedTiggaxx

I agree with Garlicbutter, on human nature etc..

SGM -Capitalism needs reform, in particular the way that capital is allocated and externalities accounted for, but to say that capitalism has been bad for most people seems to be a be taking a lot for granted.

Ordinary people (us..) live better than medieval kings - in terms of health, security, variety of food, ability to travel, access to information, entertainment. Capitalism, tempered by social democracy has been preetty good on balance for the individuals involved (for those shut out not so good, and the big, urgent challenge now is how 4billion more people can enjoy all this without destroying the planet, not how to tear it up and start again)

I do think it is wierd when people are on the Internet chatting with
people theyve never met all over the world saying 'what has capitalism ever done for us?'

We, human beings have a hair trigger instinct for unfairness when we are on the disadvantaged side, but a huge blind spot for how lucky we are. My kids can make themselves miserable fighting over who got more sweets, more time on the Xbox, more space on the sofa. But don't see the 'unfairness' of their room suddenly being tidied or their dinner making it to the table. Sometimes ritcheous anger can be a good thing. Sometimes looking at the bigger picture can stop us being eaten up by it.

I just can't see any system that could replace capitalism that would be better at the moment. The problem is any system that would be based on balancing resources equally will eventually be broken as people will want to do the most they can for those they have great interest in (themselves/family/friends) and this applies to almost everyone.

Also such a change in system will have to affect the world at the same time as any country which makes a sudden shift will be at a great disadvantage competitively with the other countries in the world and there are not many countries that are self sustainable.

I just don't know, any system we can have will be flawed nothing we have will ever be perfect. And the collapse of capitalism may not be a good thing as following such a collapse would probably be anarchy and a worse system may be put in place.

Well, I find that the friends I have/make who get it become some of the most valued people I know. Having to spend time buttoning your lip and swallowing down the rage doesn't really make for a very firm foundation of friendship.

And on the plus side, by seeing what's going on, talking about it i.e. "coming out" as a feminist, and passing these messages on to your children and other people you know, you ARE making things better. :)

One thing: it's very pleasant not feeling you 'should' be empowered by sleaze because that's well post-feminist innit.

That was a big sigh of relief for me finding there wasn't just a tacit conspiracy to say women love being sexualized, and there were people saying 'bollocks to that'.

I notice much more than I ever did since coming on this board . I watched "Unstoppable" last night. Film about a unmanned train full of chemicals hurtling towards destruction. Somehow in this movie they managed to make the daughters of the main "Hero", waitresses at Hooters and we had a nice little scene full of Tits and Ass and Swaying Hips accompanied by Rock Music, which was totally unnecessary and added NOTHING to the plotline. At no point during the rest of the movie did any man take his shirt off ir behave in anyway that was not brave and heroic. It really pissed me off. This is the kind of thing I would never have noticed before.

I go running a lot, sometimes in relatively secluded places. My stomach never clenches up with apprehension when I see a Woman on my run, only when I see men. This also pisses me off. I am actually afraid of most men I don't know in a low level way. This is something I have never really thought about before but it is making me more and more angry all the time.

I could go on and on with more examples.

Don't be scared to post, shimmery. I only know stuff from reading threads on here and some of the books and links that people refer to on them. I know that sometimes posters get a hard time, but that is usually only when they insist on wilfully misreading, not thinking about what has been written and don't put forward any counter-argument. I don't think anyone has a problem with honestly asked questions and exploration.

And I agree, I rarely watch "mainstream" TV and films anymore. Not out of snobbery, but just because I see them differently now and don't get enjoyment out of them.

it's so true about mainstream TV and films. And, even worse for me, I can't even enjoy books in the same way any more. [sob, sob, sob] I could live quite happily without TV, but books? This is a much more serious matter!