Article on Motherhood in Guardian

[Blackduck]

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/mar/26/modern-mother-equality-illusion

Have only skim read, but usual comments!

bumblinbovine talks a lot of sense as well

When was I proposing it as a solution for all .I said if the people that do care for children are well educated we can bring our childcare provision up to that of other countries. Then mums might feel better leaving their child at it if they do want to work. There might not be such a stigma that you are abandoning your child.

I definitely dont think all women should work at all. I think it is actually good having a part time or at home all the time parent if possible, but for mums who do want to work and struggle I think there should be no stigma in going to work and this might be minimised by decent graduate level provision being provided. We need to get away from the idea that nursery workers are uneductated and care is like babysitting

I think that should is why it makes sense to provide them with decent provision to do it. I think it also benefits women by giving them more options whether to work or stay at home. At no point did I say that they should go to work as that is not what I stand for at all.

I was annoyed that you wrote that as if it wasnt worth it to do a degree and if everyone was like me what would society be like. I fully support you staying at home and all mums that would like to stay at home. I definitely support more money and support for both parents with special needs/diabled kids and the parents. I think more money should be put in and the cuts are very worrying in these areas.

I just think if people are struggling (and not every is cut out for full time childcare) there should be support in place by the government to help this.

Dittany I don't often agree with you but you never spoke a truer word. I think things are shit for many women in heterosexual relationships I have always known that from a very young age. I forgot it a bit in my first marriage but I have never done so since. I love my dh but I do not put that love above my need for respect. This isn't always a strength I suppose but it is how I am.

I think many many people (not just women) would find what I said about planning for escape to be unacceptable or odd. To me it seems the most sane thing a woman can do in a mad world.

I think it's a bit naive not to have a plan for most things in life.

Like losing your job, or if you separated.
I don't feel comfortable without a plan but maybe that's just me.

I have just read back over the bit you wrote back above the degree bit. I didnt read that before as I was to incenced by what you wrote about me after that I didnt read it..

Good god know I dont think you should stay on the estate and only aspire to minimum wage. I think there should be more support to role out tax credits further up the income threshold. Many women cant work because they cant afford childcare. I think that they should be able to do this as childcare is for such a short period of time that it benefits the government/society.

I think that it is fairer at the bottom as we are all the same and as I said I think that should be achieveable throughout the incomes. If it is like that it is more fairer. It has been achieved for the lower classes through the implementation of childcare help and it just happens that jobs are different hours so it works out the couple share it. I would like to see that for women at the top. I hope that by providing good childcare then that might help the women feel confident about their choices. Additionally childcare becomes more of a profession, differing hours can be provided etc.

I think it is a shame that families are seperated and think support should be available across the board from the government to help mums and dads who are struggling. This wont happen at the minute because of the cuts.

I have read the whole thread and have read nothing which changes my position that ironing is a waste of time, or at best a personal hobby which may be rewarding to some individuals.

Yes of course it's good to have insurance, back up, plan B etc., but seriously,. most women don't have a plan to leave the man they are planning to have a baby with - they think if they're gointg to have to leave him, better not to have a baby with him. The point I was making, is that most women have babies with men they are 100% sure of, insofar as you can be 100% sure of anyone. They don't have any lingering doubts - - if they did, they wouldn't have babies with them and if they voiced their doubts, they would be told not to have babies with them.

Wouldn't they? Surely?

ROFL vezzie

Well, I always thought I'm not giving up my career as I didn't ever want to be financially dependent on someone.

I also made sure everything was sorted financially so I wasn't vulnerable.

But I've always been like that and I'll instill this into my children.

Lol ok vezzie the least of my concerns is ironing.

I want the girls I talked about to be able to want more from their men.

I want childcare to be a profession that is respected because children are hard work and it isnt a doss job.

I want all mums whether stay at home or not to be respected in their choices and supported through Surestart regardless of income/class

I want childcare to be subsidised for middle incomes so women can carry on working in useful jobs that benefit society.

There should be no shame in doing this and media should be ignored on mass when you hear shit articles saying its best if a mum does?

I do think it is better that families members, even if they arent geographically close can not be feared (obviously within certain circumstances) but there isnt a stigma of 'abandoning your baby' if the PILS, grandparents or other extended family help. There is no shame in this.

I think if it comes to one working ridiculously long hours and one not working it can feel more equally if it is more shared with both working less/sharing childcare. I obviously know all cant do this or would even want to do this but I do think it makes a difference.

Yeah herbx loads of women I know didnt think that hard about a baby. I know a fair few that had babies in the first year of meeting [shocked]

ok fair enough but the point that was made further down the thread, was that women should just be more careful about the men they have babies with, as if the only problem is that women are making unwise choices. This seems to me to once again be blaming women for the fact that men quite often change their behaviour once they get some power over a woman because make no mistake, in our society making a woman pregnant gives a man some power over her.

good night from a lying, drunkard, dont care about my child just out to claim off the state for degrees I dont need and childcare.