Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

What acts of sexism have you encountered today?

324 replies

BertieBotts · 15/03/2011 19:32

I thought it would be interesting to have a thread where we can come on and post any day-to-day sexism/effects of sexism, thinking mainly low-level things, but big things are alright to post too of course. I thought it might be eye-opening (if depressing) to collate how much crap there is to deal with on a daily basis.

I'll start - while listening to music on spotify, having to listen to an unskippable ad for a rap artist playing a clip of his song which includes the lyrics We bring the women and the cars and the cards out Hmm

The other one I can think of (which fair enough was during a seminar about feminism) was a guy in my class who kept saying things like "Well yes women are paid less than men/women are vastly underrepresented in parliament/rape conviction rates are ridiculously low. [etc] But that's just the way it is. It's the same in all societies that I know of. I don't know what you can do about it." Angry

Anyone else?

OP posts:
ElephantsAndMiasmas · 05/04/2011 00:55

jesus christ Delia - by whom?

Deliainthemaking · 05/04/2011 16:26

I nipped round to the shop was like 8pm and a group of kids shouted it at me

I was more WTF?? than outright angry IYSWIM

whydididothat · 05/04/2011 16:40

Crikey Delia it all happens to you doesn't it?

Deliainthemaking · 05/04/2011 20:02

lol seems that way Its often mickey taking from strangers, being a bigger

its like 'Oooh err arrse' sorta thing

also I live in Syorkshire- inbred shithole

hmc · 06/04/2011 00:24

Delia - you need to move!

Deliainthemaking · 06/04/2011 00:26

wish I could lol
the means

smugaboo · 06/04/2011 04:00

I teach university students and last week I overheard a girl telling her male friend that she was not a feminist. Now, this girl is smart, outspoken, a bit alternative - the kind that should be identifying herself with us Grin.

She said that she had disdain for 'a lot of her gender' as all they wanted were kids/babies etc. Then she goes on to say that women want everything these days - the 'right to work', 'the right to stay at home with their kids' (I mean, make up your mind women!). She also said she didn't want kids (that's nothing to do with feminism obviously).

So, she was being contradictory and honestly, probably trying to get a bit of a reaction from the guy (who didn't express agreement with anything she said by the way). I felt overall, that she had a disdain for her gender based on odd misconceptions - and an overriding need to differentiate herself from other women somehow.

Grrr, I like this girl. Promising student, eloquent, an individual. I'm optimistic about her future regardless of her comments but its this 'dislike' of other women that concerns me so much. I never felt that - only solidarity.

KatieMiddleton · 06/04/2011 12:47

That's interesting and worrying Smugaboo. I'd forgotten this but I'm a postgraduate student studying HR management after a 10 year career in management.

I was asked on two separate occasions by different women on my course if I agreed all women managers were bitches? Shock I was horrified but tried to explain that good/bad managers exist regardless of gender and that some women unfairly struggle because of negative perceptions like that. I also pointed out I'd that if women like themselves perpetuate that misconception how did they not think they were making their own lives difficult?

everyspring · 06/04/2011 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Deliainthemaking · 06/04/2011 13:19

everyspring join the thread killers clud lol

true tho

MinnieBar · 07/04/2011 11:40

A drop in the ocean, but DH was telling me (unprompted) that he frequently has to ask his female work colleagues (there's one in particular) to not make 'oooh, men are so rubbish and forgetful aren't they, they'd forget their heads if they weren't screwed on, my DH can't remember anything' rants (coupled with 'jokes' about how useless men are.

The main perpetrator just rolls her eyes and 'humours' him (after all, he's just a clueless man, bless him).

I know it's nothing compared to what happens to women on a regular basis, but he gets quite annoyed by it.

MinnieBar · 07/04/2011 11:40

gah forgot to preview, sodding italics

dirgeinvegas · 07/04/2011 13:38

Can I post the sexist act I came across this week? Well, it is on-going but it seems to be reaching a peak this week.

I am an accountant, I am employed by a large organisation as a qualified accountant. I took a year off work when I had DD (all Mat leave) and returned to another post at the same level (part time hours deemed not compatible with my old job).

I noticed on our payroll system that my post is not classed as a qualified post. I queried this and was told that Oops, yes, we have put you in a job that doesn't require a qualification but look, your salary is the same. This affects my pay, my CPD (if its not a qualified post then how I am getting the experience to show my institute that I am continuing to develop my skills) and my progression.

I spoke to HR who were appalled and agreed that because of my maternity leave I had been given a role that was not on equal terms and conditions to my last job.

So this week I called my boss to get it sorted out and his reponse was:

"Well at you've got a job, lots of people are being made redundant right now so you're still lucky".

JoanofArgos · 07/04/2011 13:40

Is it me, or do school websites have far more pictures of girl pupils than they do of boys?
Looking at dd's, the photos are universally of years 7-9 (they have different colour jumpers, which is how I know) - perhaps because great big hulking year 11s seem off-putting for parents of year 6s. But not just dd's but most schools I've seen seem to have far more pictures of happy smiling girls than boys.
Can think of lots of reasons for this, none of them very good!

dirgeinvegas · 07/04/2011 14:02

Sorry, I don't mean to sound as though I am not grateful for having a job - especially when unemployment is so high but I wonder how he would feel to be effectively demoted after working so hard for years. Maybe it would soften the blow if I pointed out how lucky he was to still have a job?

AyeRobot · 07/04/2011 14:04

dirgeinvegas, have you posted about your situation in the Employment section? It stinks.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 07/04/2011 14:06

god, dirge, you don't sound ungrateful! Just outraged at having your career torpedoed by stealth. Can't HR speak to him about it, since they are on your side?

Deliainthemaking · 07/04/2011 14:17

that was an arsy reply dirge youre right to be annoyed

its also patronising Im sure your fully aware of whats goin on

everyspring · 07/04/2011 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieMiddleton · 07/04/2011 21:21

dirge that's rubbish. To save you a trip over to employment issues you can make a claim for sex discrimination at an employment tribunal whilst still in your job. However, if you can get HR to sort it out for you so much the better. But you only have 3 months, less one day, to go to a tribunal so if HR dither and you feel you have nothing to lose complete an ET1 online and tell them you're only doing it because it's getting close to the time limit and you don't want to. That'll shake them up a bit!

I fell murderous when I hear of crap like that. Someone posted the other day asking if they could sack their nanny on maternity leave and keep her temporary replacement on instead... funnily enough the thread has since disappeared Hmm

KatieMiddleton · 07/04/2011 21:22

I meant that's rubbish for you. Not you're being dishonest.

Sadly all too believable Sad

SupposedToBeWorking · 08/04/2011 12:46

Yesterday evening, when I was walking through a residential area on my way to my (first ever!) feminist group, a man across the street shouted 'Alright baby?' When I ignored him, he shouted it again, then followed it up with 'You's a grumpy looking bitch then'.

Less than 30 seconds later I was on a main street, and looking for the cafe where we were going to meet I saw two young men flyposting signs that said 'TITS! Get them out for our boys' - I didn't see what the rest of it said because the man ripped it down again when he saw my face (and the other one ran away) but it had a logo about the armed forces on it. The encounter went like this:

Me: Does that say what I think it says?
Man: (smirking) No.
Me: How do you think women feel when they read stuff like that?
Man: Haven't you ever heard of humour?
Me: Haven't you ever heard of sexual threat, sexual violence, sexual assault?
Man: (incredulous) Sexual assault?
Me: Yes, assualt. It's a verbal assualt on me. When someone shouts something like that at me, as they just have round the corner from here
Man: (looking genuinely surprised and concerned) No, really?
Me: (imitating his concern) Yes, really, and there you are putting up a sign shouting exactly the same thing. It's a threat and you have no right to bully women like that.

At which point I walked off while man was too dumbstruck to say anything back to me.

Whoop whoop for me!

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 08/04/2011 15:42

Wowee STBW!! That's so brilliant of you. I will try to remember that for next time I meet idiots like that. I can feel the righteous anger in your post. :)

How was the group, after all that?

SupposedToBeWorking · 08/04/2011 17:25

It got a thumbs up from me Smile

It was a discussion group, and the theme last night was feminism and relationships. Tbh the thing that made a big impression on me wasn't so much the content of the discussion (although there were lots of interesting thoughts and stories) but the fact of thirty or so real live women and three or four men meeting and listening to each other about feminism.

I'm also going to check how to do activism - that group does things, and there's a branch of the Fawcett Society around here too.

Daily acts of sexism had better watch out for me!

Quattrocento · 08/04/2011 17:27

None (again)

I must be living on a different planet