What acts of sexism have you encountered today?

[BertieBotts]

I thought it would be interesting to have a thread where we can come on and post any day-to-day sexism/effects of sexism, thinking mainly low-level things, but big things are alright to post too of course. I thought it might be eye-opening (if depressing) to collate how much crap there is to deal with on a daily basis.

I'll start - while listening to music on spotify, having to listen to an unskippable ad for a rap artist playing a clip of his song which includes the lyrics We bring the women and the cars and the cards out

The other one I can think of (which fair enough was during a seminar about feminism) was a guy in my class who kept saying things like "Well yes women are paid less than men/women are vastly underrepresented in parliament/rape conviction rates are ridiculously low. [etc] But that's just the way it is. It's the same in all societies that I know of. I don't know what you can do about it."

Anyone else?

[BeakerTheMuppetMuppet]

the woman checkout operator at the garden centre asked me if i'd like her to get 'one of the boys' to carry my single bag of compost to my car.

my refusal - telling her it was ok, i could manage, was met with 'oh, is your husband waiting for you?'

[SueSylvesterforPM]

being told by my dp that if I want a shot at getting a good job when I quit being a sahm , I should stay a brunette because iIm 'already all tits and teeth' apparently.

probably the wierdest sexist comment I've ever heard.

[casbie]

was dancing to metallica tribute band (well head banging)...

friend of a friend said 'You looked like you were sucking cock'

not nice friend of a friend then - b*stard!

[forkful]

Bumping in case anyone lured wandering over here from the PMQs sexism thread in AIBU wants to add their story of sexism here.

[karmakameleon]

Trying that everspring but they know that there are only a handful of employers in the new location so I'm better off working for them than not at all. It's infuriating being told so openly. I have not so subtly mentioned that it's not entirely legal to try to pay me less because of my DH's salary but their attitude was that they don't have to transfer me. [grrr]

[SueSylvesterforPM]

my sons uncle called him a 'poof' for playing with an ornament doll

in a sort of jokey way but still, my Dp pull him apart for it.

hes a toddler FFS

[karmakameleon]

Please can I share mine. I need to vent.

DH and I have decided to transfer to a new location. DH already has a job sorted and I am trying to get a transfer with my current company. They have found me an appropriate role, which is actually a decent promotion and we have been negotiating package this week. They have a standard package they would normally pay for someone taking that role in that location but they are refusing to give it to me because I am following my DH's career and they are doing me a favour. They want me to transfer over on my current package which given the cost of living in the new location is actually a net pay cut.

I am furious.

[iskra]

Here's one from my day!

Despite being 20 weeks pregnant & pushing a buggy, you can still get harassed on the street! Hate it - first time DD, who is nearly 3, has witnessed it. "What's that man saying Mummy?"

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

well done StayFrosty.

here's a new one.
In the Sunday Times tv guide, they have a 'You say' bit every couple of pages where they print random letters from viewers.

Here is one from today's page, from one Dennis Williams:
'It's time to do away with female newsreaders. They are not suited to the job.'

wtf?

[Unrulysun]

Frosty I know 'it's only words on a page' but actually it's human interaction and it's just as real as a conversation. You're very much within your rights to be upset. Couldn't you tell your dh, or someone? This has obviously opened up some old wounds for you :(

[SueSylvesterforPM]

Facdebook can make the most basic things so humiliating nm a sensitive subject

[SueSylvesterforPM]

thats pretty bad he could have at least said sorry I wasnt thinking

[Unrulysun]

...and 'I didn't invent it' is so lame. There's all kinds of offensive language out there we don't use.

Prick.

[AyeRobot]

I think i would feel exactly the same re the friendship. How stupid/insecure/thoughtless/whatever is someone who gets huffy about a rape victim objecting to that word being used?

I'm with you all the way.

[AyeRobot]

I'm sorry your friend was so insensitive, StayFrosty. And I'm sorry you were raped.

Fuck the evolution of language bollocks. I really do believe that swathes of the supposedly educated population have forgotten how to think. You have to be able to think in order to empathise. And so we spiral into the abyss.

Hope you get an apology, StayFrosty.

[Unrulysun]

I know what you mean Frosty - I had a total 'reply all' freakout at a friend for e-mailing something I found offensive once and instantly felt guilty but this guy knows what happened to you and not to be utterly contrite when you confronted him shows him to be a complete knob IMHO.

Sorry it has shaken you up - can we do anything?

[blackcurrants]

Oh - Frosty - I hate it when people use 'raped' like that. I work with young people and hear too much "OMG I got totally RAPED by those library fines" - it's not triggering for me (and I'm lucky) but I always call it out if I can. My rant tends to run like this: "Really? Were you held down while you cried and begged them not to hurt you, then they painfully inserted these fines into your body, violating your privacy and your right to autonomy, laughing at you and mocking you and maybe beating you as they did it, leaving you wounded and less confident about your ability to protect yourself? Was it really violent sexual assault? Or were they a bit steep and you're annoyed? Cos diminishing violent sexual assault to something that's a bit annoying is PRETTY FUCKING SHABBY."


It's only possibly because I'm not upset, though - and that's cos I'm fortunate enough not to find it triggering. I think you were totally reasonable to block him. The tosspot.