What acts of sexism have you encountered today?

[BertieBotts]

I thought it would be interesting to have a thread where we can come on and post any day-to-day sexism/effects of sexism, thinking mainly low-level things, but big things are alright to post too of course. I thought it might be eye-opening (if depressing) to collate how much crap there is to deal with on a daily basis.

I'll start - while listening to music on spotify, having to listen to an unskippable ad for a rap artist playing a clip of his song which includes the lyrics We bring the women and the cars and the cards out

The other one I can think of (which fair enough was during a seminar about feminism) was a guy in my class who kept saying things like "Well yes women are paid less than men/women are vastly underrepresented in parliament/rape conviction rates are ridiculously low. [etc] But that's just the way it is. It's the same in all societies that I know of. I don't know what you can do about it."

Anyone else?

Just pile her stuff up by the sink and leave it for her.

Today a new client, who I'd never met, called me 'doll' and then 'darling'. Repeatedly. Didn't have the guts to say 'actually it's Ms G' please.

I think reading the feminist threads on MN have made me much more alert to casual sexism.

I got this is an email from weightwatchers today entitled "you can be a yummy mummy" which was not a good start.

"Mums are natural masters of multi-tasking, so think of the positives that your lifestyle can bring to your weight loss journey and don?t let lack of time become an excuse. Get support from your friends - other mums might be keen to get together for a weekly walk or bike ride. Ask your partner to babysit one evening a week so you can attend an exercise class"

It's NOT BLOODY BABYSITTING IT'S BEING A BLOODY CO-PARENT!!! Sorry to shout, that really annoys me.

God that so illustrates the point that Fat is a Feminist Issue...

I was referred to as "the delightful Belle" by a colleague I'd never met before while in a meeting with a client. WTF was that about - he wouldn't have said that about a man, I'm guessing...

Oh, and I'm more senior than he is. I don't know if it's just because he was being a knob or if it was deliberately done to reduce my credibility?

Not a major incident but still pissing me off!

Barman asked us jovially 'what'll it be - 4 pints of guiness' - no we say (group of 4 women) we've all got to drive later. "Ha" said he "well it won't make any difference to your driving will it? Might even help with the parallel parking" - clearly thought he was a wag.

None at all. Zero. Nada.

Went to work, where I am paid more than all my (entirely male) contemporaries, did a few meetings, wrote a few letters, came home to find husband had cooked dinner, washed up, chatted to children for hours.

No sexism. Unless you count me? I encountered a white-van-man-driver, driving as drivers of white vans always do, which is right up my tailend. I muttered to myself about blokes who drive white vans. Sorted him out though. Slowed right down. Safer you see. Drove him demented.

LOL I always od that when someone drives up my arse.

Don't they understand that that is an inevitable consequence of their action?

They start gesticulating, it's so amusing.

This thread is so bloody depressing... I want Quattro's life though.

Was chatting to a couple of people I know today and I mentioned my boyfriend and they said I should be married now as I have children. They are both young men with a mild/moderate learning disability. The setting was a college where they are students and I was having lunch with them while waiting for a client and I have known them since I worked with them years ago so we have quite a good rapport.

I put them straight by explaining that women no longer needed even to have a partner or a partner of the opposite sex to have a family. An interesting discussion about gender issues (in context) ensued about certain things like why do no women play in their football team, why do they always have their washing done by their Mum's (not by themselves or their Dads), what do girls want from a relationship etc

It was positive and hopefully made them think.

I have corrected my daughter's friend more than once about her dad 'babysitting' her wee brother while her Mum is out.

Pre-school application form:

"Mother's present or former occupation."
"Father's occupation."

DW is the breadwinner here. I'm the bread butterer. Do I put that?

(The form also asks "How would you like us to address you?")

Laughing at bread butterer.

You've reminded me of something my dd's pre-school did. Sent out request for parents to help with cleaning and maintenance on two separate dates.

Mums were invited to a "toy clean", wine and cake offered as reward.
Dads were invited to a fix up (involving DIY, etc) in the preschool garden, beer and pizza offered as reward.

The Dad day was cancelled, in the end. I was planning to go to that one, as I am much better at DIY than I am at cleaning. Oh, and I'm better at eating pizza than cake. I am not sure how welcome I would have been.

That school needs seriously putting right (well both of them actually but I was thinking of 'mother's former or present occupation' - fuck that, I'd be writing a serious letter to the headteacher questionning how they address gender equality).

Some of the work stuff on here makes me wonder how more people don't go completely postal.

DS,his mother, and I took DS for an operation yesterday.

They assumed DS lived with his mum, he doesn't he lives with me.
All questions were aimed at his mum, I answered them.
It was assumed his mum would go with him to the theatre, we both did.

We got there in the end though.

BelleDame - he was definitely trying to imply that he was your superior/in a position to patronise you. Think of Paul Daniels and "the lovely Debbie McGee".

What an arse - if you are able to do so, I think you'd be more than entitled to have a word and ask him not to refer to you like that in future.

Weightwatchers advert just came onto the TV and both colleague (male) and myself simultaneously shouted "feck off, weightwatchers!" - me with even more sincerity after that bollocks email above.

Dadforever, if you take your DS to the doctor by yourself, I bet all their advice and comments start with "so, dad, please tell mum that.."

First post in feminism, but this has been bugging me all morning...

A friend of mine has recently won a business award. She put the link to her local paper reporting it on her FB. Headline basically says 'Local mother wins business award'. All I could think (apart from 'yay for her!') was 'I bet they wouldn't say ''Local father'' if it were a man'.

I was tempted to comment something along those lines on her FB but thought that might be raining on her parade somewhat. But I also though 'MN feminists would agree with me'

A small thing but - this morning on the Tube, man massively man-sitting in relaxed pose with knees and elbows splayed wide, so the women on either side of him were squeezed uncomfortably into about half their seats, and of course sitting with legs primly together and arms crossed in front of their bodies. Not a gender issue, I told myself (aware of tendency to see everything through feminist goggles), it's just that some people are self-centred and rude. Until one of the women got off and her seat was taken by another man - and man-sitting man suddenly regained the ability to put his knees together and retreated into his own seat.

Just made me think if an alien was watching that scene, what would it tell them about the balance of power in our human society?

You see this sort of thing all the time on public transport. I try not to stand for it myself and make a point of taking up all my alloted space. Just as I don't scurry out of the way of men walking down the pavement - though it's amazing how many will walk straight into you (and then swear at you for the privilege) because it just didn't occur to them that a woman wouldn't automatically give way to them.

I do agree with you Minniebar :) It seems like women constantly get referred to as mum (or later gran), vastly moer than men are called "dad".

I mean, "local dad wins council election" - I'd love to see that.

Ephiny - I see that all the time, and have developed very sharp elbows (years of having to squeeze into cars with my brother and his friends helped). This morning without thinking I sat down and the guy (who I hadn't noticed) who was on the seat behind me had his arm sharply bumped off the seat as i leant back :o What a knob.

Ephiny I really hate when that happens. Normally I get my elbows/legs sticking out as soon as I sit down so that men have to take up their normal amount of space, but yesterday I was on the bus and wasn't quick enough and the guy who sat next to me was taking up about a third of my seat. I'm not sure how he managed it, it's not like he was massively fat, it was just his sort of presence. Pissed me right off, I was squished into the window for the rest of the journey.

Was on the Guardian website earlier (this article) and got rather depressed at all the 'you're being old-fashioned, I'd be worried if he wasn't using porn, fnar fnar' comments. Fortunately there are some balanced views on there too. And an articule about the suffragettes avoiding the census, and another article about Spain's majority female cabinet. I love the Guardian.