What acts of sexism have you encountered today?

[BertieBotts]

I thought it would be interesting to have a thread where we can come on and post any day-to-day sexism/effects of sexism, thinking mainly low-level things, but big things are alright to post too of course. I thought it might be eye-opening (if depressing) to collate how much crap there is to deal with on a daily basis.

I'll start - while listening to music on spotify, having to listen to an unskippable ad for a rap artist playing a clip of his song which includes the lyrics We bring the women and the cars and the cards out

The other one I can think of (which fair enough was during a seminar about feminism) was a guy in my class who kept saying things like "Well yes women are paid less than men/women are vastly underrepresented in parliament/rape conviction rates are ridiculously low. [etc] But that's just the way it is. It's the same in all societies that I know of. I don't know what you can do about it."

Anyone else?

None.

Unless you count me and a co-worker laughing at a freebie magazine that had 2 pages of fashion followed by 2 pages of cars and going "girl page - - boy page" but that was more of a comment on the magazine.

@Everyspring The 'pretty white girls with cracking norks' pics that get published every year around exam time directly prompted The Guardian to use a picture of some average-looking young men to illustrate its exam results story last August time.

I do bloody love The Guardian.

None :) I was out & about much more than usual today (I'm a hermit, but got seduced by the sunshine.) No sexism whatsoever, either experienced or observed.

Well, unless you count Jay's teenaged attempt at describing his girlfriend on East Enders.

Sorry for the delay coming back to this thread. I had a manic weekend.

KateMiddleton thanks so much for posting that info. I had a reply from HR who told me to get my boss to help me write my job description.

A colleague who is not qualified is stuck in a Qualified post (given on the understanding that he would complete his exams but 4 years on he's not sat any more and decided not to continue) has asked if I would like to job swap. We share a line manager so it seemed like a straight forward request but the fact that I am pregnant again is seen as a negative to my line manager who thinks the repeated change won't be good for the team.

I am only 11 weeks (my line manager was told by someone else that I was pg) and so have plenty of time to make an impact in the other post.

I went back to HR for advice but they have just referred me back to the person that directed me to HR....

sigh got shouted at from car when walking home with kids. Wonder if he would have shouted fatty to a bloke! Mind you had 20+lb toddler in sling under jacket( twas raining a little) so can only think he was dissappointed that only one of my norks was jorden sized and strangley perky. Why I am creditting him whith any thinking I do not know

In the park yesterday on horsy thingie with five seats (dd on it not me). Dd (10mo) grabbing boy (2yo?) in front of her by the shirt collar repeatedly.

Me (to other mum): Ooooh sorry - she's very grabby.
Other mum: it's ok he's always grabbing other kids. He's a boy

and what I should have said then is: 'Hmmmm well she's a baby girl and she's got him by the scruff of the neck so so much for that theory eh?'
but I didn't 'cos she knew the other mum I was with :(

bwahaha Unruly, that must have escaped her somehow.

Are boys being trained up to be grabby then? Because that explains A LOT.

Went to Centre Parks over the weekend (which was generally great!), however there were a number of sexist stereotypes going on like Princess and Pirate parties and Lads and Dads soccer (which it did say wasn't just for Lads and Dads but the name immediately implies such!).

In addition for 2 out of the 3 evenings we went out to eat, the waitress gave the receipt to DH to sign despite the fact I gave her the card and it was my name on it! And then to make matters worse DH pointed out that was the women doing the stereotyping. And... your point is? Grrr.

DP and I went out for dinner on Saturday night. As we were walking along the road, a car full of boys drove past and yelled "SLAGS!" at 2 girls (around 19 years old)walking infront of us. For no reason whatsoever.

Oh, and I found myself lowering my eyes and putting my head down when walking past a group of builders working on the road near to work. They have been there for weeks, I have no option other than to walk past them.

I fucking hate the fact that I feel as though I have to make myself as "invisible" as possible when walking along, as to avoid the stares or comments. If I actually looked them in the face, I KNOW that would be taken as an invitation by them to say things.

I can't bloody wait until they finish the job.

How sexist is this advert??!!!

Directly comparing a woman to a car...

No acts of sexism today either

I'm clearly not trying hard enough

What do I have to do to encounter some?

Just be unlucky, Quattro.

in the lovely family bakery where I buy bread once or twice a week. nice old lady behind counter cooing over DS, in buggy.

"He's so big!"
"Yeah" (proud mum, me) "Nine pounds when he was born, twenty five now."
"Aren't you a big boy? And he's so strong!" (ds grabbing toy on buggy and straining at it) "You're a boy through and through, aren't you?"

She's lovely, and she was being nice as she always is, and DS is sick and I'm tired so I didn't bother with "irls are strong" I just muttered something about big babies in my family, and left it.
But the thing is, people tell girl babies they're beautiful, and boy babies they're handsome AND strong AND big AND some other active adjective. I love my DS and he's beautiful AND strong AND (freakishly) big... but that doesn't mean a DD wouldn't have been all of the above, y'know?

I'm probably not making much sense. This one struck me as so benign an act of sexism that, in a way, it's a good example of how damned insidious it all is.

Went to playgroup with my son. My friend's son was running round and playing with bricks and she commented how "ah good he's really playing just like a boy now". I asked her what she meant and she said, "you know running round playing with bricks" I think she could see my look and said "you know, girls like to sit quietly and play with toys" and pointed to a toy kitchen set. I raised my eyebrows and then two minutes later watched as my DS headed towards the kitchen set and started playing. I couldnt help but point it out to her!

I also went to the dentist this morning and saw a play toaster and kettle which were pink with the logo "girls only" written on it.

One more on behalf of my sister...
My sister is pregnant and she and her husband decided they did not want to find out the gender of the baby at the scan. When she told her work colleague this the colleague looked horrified and said "but how will you know whether to buy blue or pink things?".

You know, I wouldn't mind so much if these baby girls were being indoctrinated to think they were "naturally" meant to be good at something that was well-paid. But they're basically saying girls are naturally good at cooking and cleaning - unpaid or minimum wage work at least.

I commented on a fb group ages ago saying

'this tickles my funny bone'
somebloke has commented on it saying 'add me and I'll tickle you'

I'd be perturbed if it wasn't so awful lol, the think is my child is my dp and not me unless he's has seen my pics (beggars belief is he has lol) so now im disturbed on 2 levels

Sue - ? Your child is your DP? Or what?!??

Woman in front of me at Aldi checkout. Aldi's sliced bread is weirdly soft, so always misshapen by the time you get it home. We commented on our squidgy-shaped loaves. She told a cute story about how her husband asks her if she's been sitting on his sandwiches coz they'rfe never square! Lol

The act of sexism was mine, I guess, as I didn't query why she feels she must make her husband's lunch. Could guess the answer anyway - she's about my age, and I'm from the (hopefully) last generation of British women who like to show their love by performing endless, unquestioning service. (No wonder I feel I'm odd!)

Sue - confused ? Your child is your DP? Or what?!??

or he's seen my pics but tbh im not sure wht he'd out that lol

probably a troll

Not really intentional sexism, but something which highlighted male privilege for me (again). Bf decided to surprise me by turning up at my house unannounced. Then he thought he would make it more of a surprise by knocking more loudly than he usually would, oh and hiding around the corner so I couldn't see him through the door

So of course I heard an unfamiliar, unexpected knock at the door after dark and nobody there, and immediately felt alarmed by this. I was looking through the window with my phone in my hand ready to call the police when I saw who it really was. When I told him he'd frightened the life out of me he was mortified, but it had honestly never occurred to him that that might have been frightening as a situation.