Feminism chat thread II

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

Since it looks like the first chat thread is about to fill up, here's the next one all ready and waiting.

Think of it as the gated commune with babysitting on demand and gorgeous poolboys serving the drinks :o

SGM that's really difficult, it sounds as though you've gone as far as you can without having to ask her gently about parenting classes or something similar. Or just banning him? Neither a very nice option I know. :( how long is it since you tried the new approaches? They may take time to bed in?

Engeltbert I've got a copy of Queen Bees and Wannabes, what's it like, I haven't read it?

SQ, I have noticed that. Girls being called manipulative and catty or "bitchy". I remember a kindergarten teacher telling me that, so now you mention it, yes girls are slotted into that box and it's pure misogyny.
Because it doesn't matter that boys are also complained about and excused for being rough. That is passed off as being "in their nature" , and being rough is kind of an eccentric thing that you can't help. Whereas people forget that girls are not allowed to be rough. They're socially conditioned from an early age not to run around like maniacs punching people, and their social punishment for behaving like that is much worse than it is for a boy. So from day one the expectations placed on girls are greater, and they still can't win, because even if girls are meek and mild people then find other things to complain about.

I wrote something! DD2 and DH are the only people who've read it. DD2 said she loves it. DH cried!

It doesn't have feminism as it's raison d'etre but the characters are, IMO, non-stereotypical.

Is there anyone on here who wouldn't mind reading and (gently) critiquing it for me?

god I would love to! where can I find it?

I'll have to email it to you, I think, Elephants. Can you PM me your email address?

Oooooooo flamingo, can I read it too?

yes :-) PM me your email addy then!

I've pm-ed you Flaming :)

and left SaF off the pool cleaning rota (if I said we should have a man come in for that would I be compounding Elephant's sexism up-thread?)

SaF do you know much about coaching? I am applying for some work which is on coaching lines and I have much more experience of training/mentoring than coaching. I think on the ground it will require a blend of the three things but the application process is geared towards coaching and I'd be interested in anyone's thoughts or experiences of it.

Oh GOD who's going to do the cleaning?

But the pool? The billiard room? The tennis courts? The boules lawn? The morning room?

Can't we have some kind of Jeeves type character on hand?

I've got the wrong end of the stick about this lifestyle haven't I

Er yes if we're going to have to employ cleaners the feminist commune's going to hit a stumbling block right away. :(

Business coaching SaF. So I am your coach and I visit you and you give me your problem and I coach you to a solution. I get the impression that it is born of a therapeutic 'talking cure' model which is why I wondered if your counselling training had made you aware of it

SQ hold on to that dream. I like your vision a lot more that my own which, for some reason, features a lot of mung bean sprouting.

But the pool and tennis courts etc will need specialist, skilled workers to clean and keep in tact so we will be providing employment for people who can provide a service that we do not have the skills for (rather than us being lazy arse, exploiters). Well that would be the way I looked at it . [digging an ever deeper hole with SQ]

Ha ha ha - shortest life cycle for a commune ever ? from rose-tinted utopia to cleaning rows in a few a short days.

Here is a bitter and twisted, extremely jaundiced little moan. Why is it that new mothers are earnestly pursued with questionnaires about PND with a million HVs poised to leap into action, but pregnant women (at equivalent risk of antenatal depression) are completely ignored no matter how many times they try to semaphore that they are drowning, not waving? Is it because THEY DON?T MATTER BECAUSE THEY DON?T HAVE A BABY TO LOOK AFTER YET?

Oooh good question vezzie. I suffered from terrible ante-natal anxiety and told - the midwife (twice) and the registrar at the hospital (once). Did they do anything? Did they f*. In the end my DH frog-marched me to the GPs where they got me an appt there and then to see a very nice lady who referred me to the peri-natal team. Yes that's right - they had in that same hospital a dedicated team for dealing with women with ante-natal depression etc and yet despite my fairly straightforward requests for help nothing was done.

Is it because I didn't have a baby to look after? I did though - I had DD1 all over me. So not sure.

I get the feeling more that if you are not a risk to the child you are carrying - you're not suicidal and are eating and washing etc - then they're not that fussed. It was all very odd TBH.

Ah. This isn't quite what I expected from a Feminism thread. This is like any old moany thread from people who happen to be feminists.

Do buck up. Where's the theory and barricade-storming?

Onto happier times... About this pool....

I think that providing employment for people is a commendable exercise as long as you're not exploiting them. Assuming we're still in this capitalist system then I think we could employ some people as long as we pay them well and look after them properly etc.

I'm definitely up for the cocktails by the pool version rather than the watching mung beans sprout sitting on a makeshift bed in a damp cellar version. So I'm still in

This is the Chat thread hully.

The Fighting Talk thread is down the hall.

You will find Dittany and SGB in there doing hand to hand combat under the banner "Whither Porn", with Xenia taking side bets.