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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

I am so shocked about that thread stating most women have no pubic hair

452 replies

roseability · 05/01/2011 22:33

I don't know quite why it has disturbed me so much. Like most women I have plucked/shaved and groomed for many years of my life. However the thought of putting myself through that really upsets me for some reason. Not that I plan to. It is just that I have never, ever considered that pubic hair is undesirable. I can't help but relate it to women in porn with little or no pubic hair and it makes me sad to think girls and young women (I have a daughter) will no doubt feel insecure about their vagina and how it looks in this way.

I am by no means a good feminist. As I mentioned I do shave my legs and I wear make up. I have read Beauty and Misogyny by Sheila Jeffreys and I question why I even do this. However it makes me almost weep to think of my daughter being influenced in such a way.

I was just really upset by that thread and I m not sure why

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whomovedmychocolate · 05/01/2011 22:35

Not seen the thread but like a forest over here because frankly the alternative is scary to me.

Will be bringing my children of both genders to accept that human beings can look all sorts of ways but the natural way is more usual.

MsHighwater · 05/01/2011 22:37

I share your disquiet about the complete removal of pubic hair but why does wearing makeup and shaving your legs make you "not a good feminist"?

Surely feminism means being able to choose freely, including being able to choose to do both of those things without being subject to criticism?

RealityIsShaggingWithIntent · 05/01/2011 22:38

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melezka · 05/01/2011 22:39

The whole thread made me want to cry. I've accepted my invisibility because of my age but I want to weep that my DD will be subject to all kinds of pressures to look a certain way - I had enough trouble with the ones i was subject to and they just keep piling up don't they Sad

llareggub · 05/01/2011 22:40

I'm with you roseability. I don't understand it either. In fact, the first time I ever heard shaving or waxing mentioned was when people on my pregnancy thread started complaining about not being able to do it. I'd never, ever considered hair removal as essential birth preparation.

I am a mother of boys. I do not want them to grow up expecting or demanding their partners shave or wax.

roseability · 05/01/2011 22:41

I suppose I am not well read on feminism or the history of it

I agree that wearing make up and shaving my legs is my choice. I also know that men groom too. My dh washes and gels his hair. Shaves and applies deodrant etc

But how do you distinguish between some grooming practices and others? Could you not say that waxing off all your pubic hair is a choice? Somehow this seems a step too far though

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Goblinchild · 05/01/2011 22:41

I'm from a bygone era, when I was a young thing Brazilians and the like were linked to porn, and total deforestation to lovers of pre-pubescent sex.
Tidying and trimming, yes.
But I find I'm way out of touch now, and happy to be. DD is of a similar mind to me, but she's only 20. Still time for the female judgy squad to get to work. I just hope I've given her enough confidence to make her own choices for her own good reasons.

wukter · 05/01/2011 22:45

It bemuses me too.

roseability · 05/01/2011 22:46

Fair enough reality. But does it not hurt? Itch when they grow back?

I am very hairy. I am dark and have a degree of PCOS so I am talking hairy toes, nipples, tummy etc! I have spent much time removing hair Grin

However I literally got teary at the thought of waxing or shaving my pubes.

And I can state with honesty that if it was socailly acceptable for me to walk around with a hairy upper lip, mono brow and very hairy legs then I would laugh with relief.

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HerBeatitude · 05/01/2011 22:46

I think what I find most depressing, is the notion that a young man will suddenly lose desire for a woman if she has pubic hair.

It looks like a generation of young men are really, really shit lovers.

Which is disappointing, because I was considering becoming a cougar. Am going off the idea now. Grin

melezka · 05/01/2011 22:50

Ok while this thread is reasonably friendly can I just say right here and now that I have a woeful sad tiny baldy wispy bush which I have always hated because i think it looks unfeminine and just wrong. My sister had a luxuriant growth which I was just so jealous of. It looked so womanly and beautiful.

I appreciate there will be cultural reasons for me to feel like this, btw.

But just wanted to say this to all those women who may be starting to feel that pubic hair is not pretty.

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/01/2011 22:55

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JaneS · 05/01/2011 22:56

HerB - do you not think the idea that the hair is 'dirty' is more depressing? I thought that was really unpleasant! Sad

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/01/2011 22:57

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melezka · 05/01/2011 22:58

Unpleasant and illogical LRD (waves)

wukter · 05/01/2011 22:58

That sounded like a barb Shiney

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/01/2011 22:59

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JaneS · 05/01/2011 22:59

(waves back)

It reminds me of scented tampax - which I thought were a joke but I believe are actually real. Strange, strange world.

wukter · 05/01/2011 23:00

Cool just checking. Maybe I'm being too sensitive tonight

HerBeatitude · 05/01/2011 23:00

Yes it really is the old idea of women being intrinsically dirty isn't it LRD.

If pubic hair on women is so dirty and unhygienic, why isn't it on men? Because of course, women are filthy, unclean lesser creatures than men.

melezka · 05/01/2011 23:02

Scented TAMPONS???!!!

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/01/2011 23:02

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QueeferDukeOfSutherland · 05/01/2011 23:03

It shocked me too tbh.

While I used to shave it all as a youngster, as soon as I'd had a daughter the thought turned my stomach.

I'm not sure I'd want to be with a man who liked me to look prepubescent.

Plus it would be a HUGE job now.Grin

DilysPrice · 05/01/2011 23:06

Increasing numbers of men do shave/wax though - it's not purely a "women are disgusting" thing, it's at least partly a general "all bodily hair and smells are disgusting" thing.

skirt · 05/01/2011 23:06

I dont believe that study, it sounds utter rubbish. But I dont really get why you are upset either. Shaving your legs does not make you not a good, ie bad feminist, it just means you dont like hairy legs.

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