What does someone actually mean when they say "I'm not a feminist"?

[TheFeministParent]

For me it means that either:
a) they are a man
b) they think feminist means militant lesbian
c) they think feminism has no relevance.

Kaloki my comments were more aimed at people who specifically say that everything is fine, there are no problems in the UK, men and women are equal, nothing needs to be changed. Trying to draw attention to some of the more obvious things and ask, how can you not see a problem there - a problem which is obviously gendered.

I don't really care if people identify as feminist or not. I do care when people out and out deny that there is any need for feminism any more. And that as men and women are already equal, women who are still feminists must want to rule the world or something.

Because things aren't equal and I find it mind-boggling that people can't see it.

You're referring to this aren't you?
"I do not care about rape conviction statistics any more than I care about any other crime conviction statistics"

I read that as caring about all crime convictions equally, not as not caring about rape convictions.

"It seems to be though that feminism goes beyond the prinicple that men and women are equal though - you have to accept that this is not so, that things are really awful, that sexism is rife in every area of life, that you are being discriminated against everywhere you go and in everything you try to do. And if you say, "Well, actually, I don't think that's the quite the case" then you are immediately disqualified."

No - the only thing which may possibly disqualify you would be an insistence that everything is lovely - the best in the best of all possible worlds. That all the battles have been won, equality is here and there is no need for any more action.

Yes, and I don't understand how any women can care as much about convictions for littering or breaking into a car, as for rape.

That comment to me also says that the writer does not believe there are any inherent problems with the way the police and CPS handle rape - that all crimes are handled with the same level of care and competence across the board. There does not seem to be room to acknowledge the specific problems with the way rape complaints are handled. The implication, to me, is that all crimes are the same, and are handled the same. I don't believe that is true, and I don't understand how others can think it is true.

Lenin I'm happy to just do what I can without going through all the fuss about whether my particular points of view are feminist enough or not.

And by just not saying I'm a feminist I actually find it easier to challenge things, because it does away with the "you're biased" accusation that some people throw about. While people are wrong to be stupid about feminism, I'm more interested in equality, than reclaiming what feminism means, if that makes sense? I think sometimes bringing the word feminism or feminist into a debate can derail it sometimes.

Whereas people don't have their own misconceptions about equality, so I find it's easier to persuade people of different viewpoints without handing them the chance to pull out their own bias against feminism.

There is a certain tone to some of the posts and posters who bleat about not needing to be a feminist, to me that just means Thatcher did a great job! Me, me, me.

TBH I think it's pretty weird to be a woman that wants equality but not to identify with feminism, I also think it rather odd that people can't see beyond their own lives.

I also don't generally say to people in RL that I'm a feminist - I think you are right kaloki that it can cause more problems. Which is a shame.

I think people guess though when I espouse my more extreme views, like, women should be paid the same as men for the same work

ISNT I don't read it that way at all. To me all crime conviction rates are equally important. I think they all need improving, I think there are flaws in the system.

This isn't the same as saying that all crimes are equal. Obviously rape is worse than littering.

Rape is brought up because it's largely a crime that both affects women and battles with inherent sexism within the Police force....

Abused children not being believed and DV going unreported are all part and parcel of the same problem though. The reason there are problems with these specific crimes is because we live in a patriarchal society. Get rid of the patriarchal ideas and a lot of those things will improve.

"TBH I think it's pretty weird to be a woman that wants equality but not to identify with feminism"

Identifying with feminism.
Identifying with feminists.
And identifying as a feminist.

They all mean different things.

I do 1, sometimes 2, and not 3.

I think if you believe in equality then you automatically do 1. Woman or man. Because it's the same thing.

2 and 3 are more complex. An have a myriad of reasons behind them, some stupid, some thought out.

Lenin I like pushing at closed doors So am happy to drop the word feminist if it means I can get a foot in the door of someone with views that disregard equality.

noddyholder wrote - "I do care but i am not active.I am not proud of this just stating a fact."

Is there any point or benefit to inactive caring about equality?
If there is no point or benefit, then is it really caring? (about anything actually, not just feminism)

(That is a general point, not aimed at you specifically, noddyholder)

I think people can see beyond their own lives but don't.I am answering the OP question honestly btw and think some people herre are making all the right noises but aren't all actually actively campaigning.There must be millions of women like that who never stop to think about the wider agenda.I am passionate about animal rights and cruelty and am not as active there as i was years ago.A lot of us are busy and selfish but can't admit it.The Thatcher analogy is right in many ways we cling to our own little world when we get it just how we like it and forget to look around us

For me yes, but as said before every prejudice based on wealth, class, colour is moreso for women.

Noddy I think most contributors to the feminism section are active....most of us met at the conference. In addition I am actively involved in my local group....we have an issue in my area with loads of brothels, lap dancing bars and now a bloomin' Hooters....

How could I not be active????

I've even become a fan of Hooters (eeeewww) on FB to copy photos and posts.....it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do!!

I don't think that a person has to be an activist to be "in a club". I think approaching life in a certain way and speaking when you see something is wrong where possible and trying to do the best you can in life generally is good enough.

Not everyone has the time or money to be out there doing stuff, throughout their lives. For instance on MN many women have small children, I don't think they should be "disbarred" as they aren't out lobbying or whatever.