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Original poster

Does your 'gaze' age with you? (Really this one's for the over 30s)

64 replies

StuffingGoldBrass · 31/12/2010 18:52

Mainstream culture is always banging on about the idea that older women are so unattractive as to be invisible but we all age, and not all of us older people are safely locked into monogamy, so I was just wondering - if you are over 30, do you find yourself less sexually interested in young men (or women) and more interested in your own contemporaries, or not?
I find myself more inclined to give a rueful pleased glance to a gorgeous 20 year old and move on these days, for instance, and genuinely more inclined to seek out over 40s if I'm in the mood to be on the pull (I am 46)... but at the same time I want them to look nice, not totally past it.

OP posts:
BelleDameSansMerci · 01/01/2011 23:01

I had a friend who was once worrying about how her backside looked in a g-string (she liked wearing them with trousers). I pointed out that by the time a man gets that far, he's really unlikely to care... Smile

Antalya1 · 01/01/2011 23:04

blueshoes...is that what it is a trend?, when I was in my 20's, all of my male contemporaries were with women of their age, but now I have noticed more and more men attracted to older women. I have a male work colleague, in his mid-twenties, intelligent, good-looking, witty etc. etc. who really does seem to have his pick of the girls, but the woman that has really bowled him over is 41!

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 01/01/2011 23:05

I'd still insist on the lights being off, with no touching or foreplay, and would dressed straightaway afterwards. The thought of my less than firm bits being mocked later in the pub....ouch

QueeferSantaland · 01/01/2011 23:12

I find (at 30) my gaze has broadened.

I still look at the young 'uns (20+), but I'm increasingly looking at older men in "that way".

I love feeling that there is a whole new type of man who tickle my fancy.

I just wish when I was young and single I had been with (much) older men. I didn't think they'd look twice at me, but in retrospect they probably would have.

I'm with a 26yo now, and look forward to growing old with him and boffing a silver fox in a few years. I appreciate his toned loveliness atm though.Grin

HerBeatitude · 01/01/2011 23:22

Antalya, I think it's just more socially acceptable now, for younger men to be with older women.

So they are.

And also, there are a lot more divorced older women around. The pool is bigger, so to speak.

And another thing - you don't have to marry someone now and plan to have children and be with them forever, in order to have a relationship with them anymore. So it is possible for a younger man to choose to enter into a relationship with an older woman knowing that he hasn't given up every chance of having his own biological children. And it's possible for an older woman to choose to be in a relationship which may be only for two or five or ten years, and still be valid and life-enhancing. Years ago, those choices just weren't available.

blueshoes · 01/01/2011 23:33

Antal, 'trend' because of celebrities like Demi Moore and Melanie Griffith with much younger men.

scallopsrgreat · 01/01/2011 23:41

I very rarely fancy men on sight alone. I can fully appreciate a beautiful man but only on very rare occassions would I fancy them before having at least a conversation or getting to know them.

So I think my "gaze" has aged with me as I just can't imagine having a decent conversation with a 20 yr old to the extent it would make me want to sleep with him. But there again when I was 20 I didn't sleep with any 20 yr olds either! They were generally older. So in fact my gaze has become much more in line with my age as
I've got older!

ISNT · 02/01/2011 12:32

TBH I don't think that younger men are more prone to being judgemental about women's bodies / talking down the pub than older men.

Some men will act like that whether they're 20 or 60 (because they're arses) and some men won't.

I have been out with quite a few younger men - not loads younger as I'm only 37 now, but 23 when I was 30, that sort of thing, and it was all fine. If anything they were very keen and eager to please Wink Grin while some of the men I dated who were more my own age or a bit older were shockers.

Down to the bloke not the age IMO.

I think the reason that more older women are getting together with younger men is because women are becoming more financially independent and confident, and women in those positions are starting to be able to enjoy what lots of privileged men have enjoyed forever ie young attractive partners. I do not believe that women are genetically programmed to fancy overweight bald men who are 30 years older than them - that's to do with power and money. Swap it around and we start to see some interesting results which have some of the papers in a total tizwoz.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 02/01/2011 14:14

I'm 38 and I do find myself admiring guys in their late twenties...manly but not past it! However...unless I were suddenly single I can't see myself going after one of them...thouh the thought is pleasing!

WimpleOfTheBallet · 02/01/2011 14:16

HATE the term cougar....wish people wouldpiss off and not compare womn to animals.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 02/01/2011 14:16

Angry lack of spell check there!

Prolesworth · 02/01/2011 14:38

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