If there is such a thing as a ''sisterhood'' why do I find that so many women are mean to me?

[poshsinglemum]

I do want a sisterhood and I have some lovely female friends but also some women have been very mean to me.

This seems to be to do with sexual competetiveness and in relation to men.
I've had married women comment about my single status (hate the word spinster) and some of my single friends have competed with me ruthlessly when a man was in the equasion.

I find that when women get jealous they can be quite cruel (hard hat on).

Men can also be pretty vile at tikmes.

My question is; If sexual competetion is inevitable can there really7 be a sisterhood. i know that the patriarchy puts impossible beauty ideals on us but as one of our prime reasons for being here is to mate; isn't it natural to compete for men?

I think that if you struggle to accept that women as a class are oppressed the world over to some extent by virtue of our sex then you're inevitably going to struggle with the idea of sisterhood

Sisters fight.

I think perhaps our expectations of 'sisterhood' are misguided- it should be more as prolesworth describes than being nice to women just because they are women.

showing gender preference because woman is bit misguided. i have no preference or sisterhood for someone whose values and behaviours i dont like.and cannot excuse shortcomings by saying oh well she is a woman

I think you're misunderstanding what sisterhood means SM (although I accept it can mean slightly different things to different people). It doesn't mean 'making excuses for crap behaviour' or 'being obliged to like a person because she is a woman'. That would be ridiculous. As dittany said, women are human beings with all the frailties that entails.

no misunderstanding at all as sisterhood is bandied in parlance,as showing preference and/or favour and commonalities of beliefs,behaviour,values. the belief that based upon gender one has some kind of affinity for other women

I agree SM that it is very annoying and IMO silly the way that some people throw the word "sisterhood" around to mean that women should all get on together like a good flock of sheep and never criticise each other etc.

I definitely don't think it means that. For me that ideal of sisterhood is a bit like Proles said - having basic empathy for women as if they were people by which I mean, not accepting the ridiculous double standards and just plain high standards expected of women alone in our society. "Not being part of the problem" covers it. So if you go round to your friend's house, and she is knackered and the house is a mess, help her or at least empathise, don't tut later about what a scummy housekeeper she is. Etc.

emapthy,positive regard and respect are genderless and should be freely offered to everyone until they demonstrably dont deserve

That's 'not being part of the problem though', SM, as ElfPants says.
It can manifest as sisterhood when it's applied to women.

I think that's a lovely post Lenin.

SM - I know, but I feel that society legitimises criticising women a lot more and for a lot more things than men. So, NOT taking part in the DM-style back-biting and suspicion of women seems like a good idea.

You don't have to have sisterly feelings for every woman that walks the earth. You like some women, you don't like others.

yes and as many anecdotal accounts of poor rapport and dischord

just peruse mn for wonderful stories of harmony
and equally galling stories of acrimony

human condition iswe are all flawed and complicated with propensity for both good and bad

i love women.i love men.both have enriched my life

I used to believe there was such a thing as 'sisterhood' within feminism. It was a very bitter experience to realise that nothing of the sort exists. So no, in answer to your question, there is no such thing.

There is such thing as a 'sisterhood' and 'brotherhood' for that matter however such things are only expressed on a small scale like groups of women/men who are close etc. There is no universal version though nor do I ever see one coming to be people are simply to different and attachments based on gender alone is just to big a grouping.

People normally fit into smaller groups i.e culture, religion, class, race and so on, people will always favour those they have the most in common with.

People have been and always will be competitive some more than others, with some people who will go to extreme measures to 'win out'. That's the way of our world and like it or not we are still governed by the same rules as all life on this planet no matter how much we think were above them.

I don't see much sisterhood across social classes tbh

but my female friends are the ones who have stood the test of time as opposed to men who have come and go

Furthermore I'm starting to think it's sexist to presume such a thing should exist. Competition is natural, it's in our genes. To imagine women have less of this and more of the nurturing stuff so can be part of a 'sisterhood' is crap.

Male-rigged society likes to see us compete.

We don't need to do so. Fuck me, there aren't that many men worth fighting over.

I also think women are much nicer without men about.

A-ha Orm! Not that many men worth it - the competition for those ones is fierce.

thats a really patronising statement.obvious inference being women are so easily distracted by men it brings out unsavoury characteristics - must be our widdle inferior brains

and only in absence of men can we be nice again

speak for yourself