If you were raped would you report it?

[darleneconnor]

A topical question.

I didn't in the past because I was in denial.

For the sake of my privacy I still wouldn't now. It'd make me feel so guilty leaving someone to go free and maybe do it again but psychologically I coudln't cope with a court case and all that goes with it.

[darleneconnor]

Other countries are better,yes.

We have an adversarial legal/court system, unlike the rest of europe, which has an inquisitorial system.

The difference is that an adversarial system puts 2 opposing sides against each other. It is all or nothing, winner takes all. The court can only find in favour of one side or the other.

The purpose of an inquisitorial system is to determine the truth. The judge takes a more involved role, often questioning the witnesses themselves.

[MoreSpamThanGlam]

This makes me so angry. What the hell are our politicians doing about this? Come to think of it what are we doing about this?

[MoreSpamThanGlam]

Can someone explain to me why women are still offered compensation even though the cps refuse to go ahead with a case?

[expatinscotland]

Depending on circumstances, no.

I was raped by an acquaintance, my best friend's brother's university suitemate.

We were drunk and fooling around in his bed.

No way I was reporting that. In 1989? Nope.

[chocolatestar]

No way. Unless it was a stranger, in a public place, there was a witness, I had not been drinking and was not dressed up to go out. Which is the least likely type of rape a person can experience. Men know they can get away with raping women they know.

[giraffesCantDanceLikeAnnW]

No probably not. Was assaulted, they found the person he confessed to breach of the peace but not assault. So knew who he was, where etc. (Although it was me who tracked him down after seeing him again and getting his reg plate ) Was constantly asked if I was drunk - I dont drink at all. Police were helpful and kind but CID were not. It was all a nightmare and because I reported it and he then saw me around it was scary and I was very anxious. Experience put me off. I got some good help from centre from womens health in Glasgow who offered free counselling, infact I phoned one day so traumatised they invited me in that day.

[AnyFucker]

sorry you experienced that, D0G

[ninah]

no

[GoldenCarp22]

First time, in my 20's, no, I didn't report it. I'd been drinking at a party, he put something in my drink, I passed out, he woke me up by raping me.
Second time,in my 30's, a stranger broke into my flat, raped me, beat me and left me for dead. I escaped naked, bound and bloodied and got straight into a police car called by neighbours who'd heard the disturbance. So yeah, that one got reported. The stranger was caught 6 months later, carrying the purses of women he'd beaten and robbed in the street.

Even so, he was nearly remanded but the female Dc interviewing him 'had a feeling' and his DNA came back as a match for the unsolved stranger-rapist case involving me. The specialist rape police and I got very close over the months and years, it felt like we were working together to get the fucker and despite everything, this case was going to go our way - eventually.

Case was delayed for 2 years and he changed his plea, sacked his legal team, tried to make it out was kinky S&M sex that got out of hand - every trick in the book. CPS lawyers were useless, a different one each time. I wrote my own victim impact statement. I made sure when I gace evidence I went further than the dozy CPS lawyer led me with her useless questioning technique and lack of knowledge about the case, made it really clear. Sometimes I felt like I was prosecuting him myself, alone.

I went to every hearing and stared him down, took control, taught myself how the system worked, taught myself criminal law, read everything there was.

It worked, the fucker got 12 years and will be deported at the end of his sentence, despite him appealing against deportation.
I won.

One of the things I am most proud of.

[sethstarkaddersmum]

well done GoldenCarp22. You are right to be proud.

what kind of a legal system would need someone to go through all that to get a conviction? ffs!

[allstarsprincess]

Well done Goldencarp.

It is truly shocking that our legal system works against us in such matters.

[hatwoman]

what a profoundly upsetting thread. a hug of solidarity to each and everyone of you.

[SagacityNell]

You have very right to be proud GoldenCarp.

[StarExpat]

No :( I couldn't face all that they put you through and knowing that finding someone guilty of rape is so unlikely, hardly seems worth it. I wouldn't even be able to face that now and it happened to me 15 years ago.

[AllOverIt]

I was and didn't report it. I was 15 at the time and just wanted to forget it. I'm glad I didn't now, though I do wonder if my silence caused anyone else to suffer

Goldencarp - that's brilliant. Gave me goosebumps when I read it.

The system is failing us, I'm so shocked by the woman who was sentenced for withdrawing her evidence.

[nancydrewrocked]

"You should report it, even if you don't intend to go to trial, because at least then it will be on record that someone reported him and it might give the next person who he does it to more of a chance of getting a conviction"

littleaccountant is actually right.

Often police will not pursue cases where there has been one allegation of "date rape" (sorry- for want of a better description) for lack of evidence.

However once there have been two or three or more complaints made, these will form the basis for an overall investigation. This is why the rape cases that do get to court now frequently involve rapes of multiple victims.

[JulesJules]

You should be very proud, GoldenCarp but it is just terrible that you had to go through all that.

This thread is very shocking and depressing.

[SagacityNell]

I feel like i need to add to what i said but i apologise in advance for being vague.

I was raped by a youth worker at a church i was a member of and although i didn't report it properly, i did tell the minister that this man shouldn't be left alone with young people. He didn't think there was anything to worry about and i was made to feel like i should leave the church. I haven;t been back. To any church.

I wonder if i had had a different reaction to that, if i would have reported the things that happened afterwards?

[darcymum]

So, if only about 1 in 10 of rapes are reported, and police will only (or are more likly) pursue cases with two or three victims men have to rape 20 to 30 women before a chance of being convicted?

[firefrakkers]

Almost exactly what undertheboredwalk said.

Reporting it left me with more issues than not reporting it would have. It was horrific and handled badly but it would put me off reporting again. If it happened again I wouldn't becuase I think going through that process would tip me over the ede. It's bloody humiliating.

That said I would strongly encourage anyone who confided in me that they'd be raped to report and I'd go along and act as an advocate for them because if someone had done that for me and explained what was going on things might be different.

Double standards, yes, but I couldn't go through baring my body and my soul again only to be told that it's unlikely it would get anywhere because they couldn't prove he spiked my drink or that I didn't willingly climb into bed with him and consent to what he did to me and that my testimony would be worthless because I couldn't at the time remember anything clearly.

[earwicga]

It's highly unlikely I would report. The chance of being sent to prison for reporting rape is too high.

[ISNT]

I didn't when I was a teenager as I knew they would laugh in my face - ex boyfriend, was happy to kiss him, rang him a week or so later as I wanted to talk about what had happened to try and understand it. So even though I knew that what he has done was wrong, and I called it "a sort of sexual assault" (it was rape but I was minimising), I did blame him but I knew it would go nowhere.

If it happened again I might report it anonymously, or on the proviso that I was giving them a name but I did not want it taken further.

Unless it was a violent stranger outdoors sort of rape and then I think that I would report.

As for vigilante action - it's just not going to happen is it. I'm a law abiding person and as much as I would fantasis about something horrible happening to him I wouldn't be able to really do it. And the men I know are law-abiding too, they don't go around kicking the shit out of people when I say the word. I'm not peggy mitchell