Would you like to play "It's like Feminisim never happened" with me?

[Marchpane]

I have a gem: I'm sorting out the home insurance renewal but since the last policy I have taken redundancy and I'm going back to do a postgraduate course. Which I told them.

They now have my occupation listed as "housewife" which is pretty yuk, but under employer's business it say "domestic service".

Presumably my husband is my employer and I spend my time in servitude to him?

Any one more?

We get letters addressed to Dr. and Mrs (surname). I have both of these titles.

Letter should be addressed to Dr and Mr. but why don't they do this ?

Ah yes the 'Dr' problem.

I booked a hotel recently for us, and several members of my family, and they insisted on the names and titles of the room occupants, so I waded in:

'That will be Dr & Mrs MyParentsSurname in one double'
'Ok'
'Mrs Sister's marriedname and Ms MyParentsSurname (other sister) in the twin'
'OK'
'And Dr & Dr Antidote in the other double'
'?'
'Is there a problem?'
'Where will you be staying Mrs Antidote?'
'Who is this Mrs Antidote you are referring to?'
'Errrr, you?'
'Well, perhaps you made an incorrect assumption.'
'Oh. So do you need another room?'
WTF? 'No, just the three we've already discussed'
'So two twins and a double?'

Antidote - my parents, my brother and his fiance, and my cousin and his wife, are all heterosexual couples who both use the title 'Dr'. My cousin finds that if he says 'my wife is a medic', people understand perfectly why they're 'Dr and Dr'. Whereas, my mum and dad are consistently demoted to 'Dr and Mrs', and my brother is often assumed to be homosexual.

I do like your 'Well, perhaps you made an incorrect assumption.' though! I wouldn't have been that cool.

and why, why is the girls school uniform still skirts/dresses, not trousers??

I agree niceday - drives me mad, trousers so much more comfy, easier to explore in and WARMER! Ridiculous in this day and age

I opened the door, eight and a half months pregnant (this was seven years ago) to a bloke who asked me 'Does your husband drive?'

I said - quite truthfully - that I'm not married. And he fucked off. I think he may have wondered if we could move a car...

The several assumptions here have never failed to gobsmack me.

My best answer to 'Is that Mrs MrInferior' on the phone has been 'no, she died last week', just after DP's mother had, in fact, died.

Oh and a former colleague of both of ours asked me about a month ago 'Is the reason you don't fly because of DP's eco-principles?'

I said rather frostily no it's because of my eco-principles.

Today bought a book on caring for hamsters for my nephew...

"If I am a girl I would like shavings that smell of flowers. If I am a boy, I would like pine scented ones."

WTF, even hamsters don't get away with this rubbish

watching the music video channels.

Before I had my current jobs, I used to drive a much sportier car than I do now. The number of times I had people, usually but not always men, assuming that it belonged to my boyfriend/husband or my dad, was incredible. I would get into conversations like this:

Old git at petrol station: is it YOUR car?
Small: Yes, it is.
Old git: Hmmmm. How did you get it?
Small: I bought it...

Pmsl at sockadoodledo's gender-stereotyped hamsters.

We have made discussions of the day people. I'm not sure if that's good or bad...

Following on from another thread about googles not being allowed in swimming lessons, at the dds' primary school the girls have to wear swimming caps even if they have short bobs and the boys don't have to even if their hair is shoulder length. I was given an irritated shrug of the shoulders when I queried it!

Our neighbour's daughter (adult),who had known us for some time,knocked on our door and asked me if I'd ask my husband to move his car,to allow her Mum to park.
Of course it was my car,DH was at work in his...

What used to really irritate me were the discussions with financial advisors,who would come on very strong about planning for DH's demise,how would I manage without him,what would we live on ...well,I'd go back to work.Until I went very part time to be home with DD I earned more than him,why weren't they asking him how he'd cope without me?? Grrr!

Don't get me started....

I hate the assumptions. I always get sales calls to "Mrs Suis"... when I says no-one of that name, they get very confused. Goes like this...
Mrs Suis?
No.
Who are you then?
Suis.
OK Mrs Suis ?
No.
Sorry, who is the home owner ?
Me.
And who are you ?
Suis.
Ok Mrs Suis...
No.

.... and on it goes. Apparently you can't be an unmarried female homeowner.

... Sky TV person had the same conversation, then tried to sell me extra sports channels because "your husband might enjoy them". I told her that was very sexist and I watch more sport than him and didn't want it anyway.

... at work, female with 2 kids boss told me it was a shame I was going on mat leave because there was a job coming up I would be ideal for and of course now she couldn't possibly give me it...

... was told I didn't get an interview for a promotion for business reasons, but that they hadn't got to "considering that i had a small child"...

... on complaining about women being talked about like pieces of meat in the office, I was told it was a "male" team and if I didn't like it I colod work in another bit of the office with more women(this happened twice, once from female boss !)

... hate it when all joint communications are addressed to DP first, when he never ever deals with any of the paperwork things... on one occasion all the tax credits info came to him names alone and sat unopened for weeks before I realised we wereaabout to lose out entitlement and had to sort it out.

I could go on all day...

...however, what I like best is using general sexism to my advantage....

EG " No, I can't purchase this car right now, that you are trying to pressure me into, I'll have to check with DP first".. and the pushy salesman backed off immediately. It was my car and my money and DP just laughed when I told him the story.

Loving this thread!

I recently started a new job. Colleague at work regularly sends e-mails to a group of 4 or 5 of us, all around the same level, with the opening, "Gentlemen". Last time I sent a moderately sarcastic response.

At a review with my boss (male in his late 50s) he congratulated me on getting good results from recent professional exams. He added he knew he wasn't supposed to say this, but it was particularly good when he knew that I had a small baby at home. I said I'd let it pass.

at the Dr. and Dr. confusion.

Makes me want to do a PhD just because of that kind of people.

ulla - yes, but if you do, you end up with people assuming your DH is paying for you to indulge yourself in academia, and others asking if your DH doesn't 'mind' you doing the qualification.

I've been told several times that if I am a student, I can't possibly be the breadwinner - they assume a woman doing a degree must be doing an undergraduate and/or her partner must have a job that earns more. My brother never had this problem when he was doing his PhD!

DP has a PhD and I will be starting one shortly, so we'll be Dr and Dr (as my parents are - doesn't stop them being addressed constantly as Dr and Mrs though!). I'm keeping my own surname though so no doubt that will cause all kinds of additional confusion.

The City culture is really awful isn't it - I wish I'd spoken up more about the awful misogynistic (and often homophobic) 'banter', ashamed to say that didn't, and as I'm leaving in a few days (yay!) it's probably a bit late. I also didn't say anything about a couple of separate incidents of inappropriate 'unwanted touching' (would be nice to think this didn't happen in the modern workplace, wouldn't it?), but I guess I felt pressure to conform and not be seen as a troublemaker.

One of the little things that bugs me is being mistaken for a secretary all the time, because obviously a woman on the trading floor couldn't be anything else. At least I assume that's what's going on - almost every day someone randomly asks me where they can find a meeting room or how to use the fax machine or where the paper is for the printer or if I know why there isn't any x in the stationery cupboard. I sit on a row with several male colleagues and they don't seem to have the same issues.

RedDragon, of course. My husband actually works part time, so he can take care of our home and I am the main breadwinner, but nobody is going to believe that, are they..
Or they will ask what's wrong with him - a question I would not hear if the roles were reversed.

Exactly! The first time someone asked me what was wrong with my DP I was really confused - but it seems it's quite common.

thetraveller, were you annoyed by your boss saying that about your small baby? I would actually think anyone, male or female, that had a small baby at home would be brilliant to do well in an exam at a time when I would imagine they would be getting very little sleep.

I have a few...

I am quite senior in my department so I often take young trainees (male or female) to visit clients (often heavy engineering/power stations - we provide a specialist technical consultancy). If the trainee is male, clients usually end up talking to him, even though he is shadowing me.

Also, I once saw DPs uncle in a shopping centre - he asked me if I was 'out spending DP's money' (I earn about 3 x what DP does).

And I'm sure DPs Mum, Sisters, other assorted relatives blame me, not him because we don't send any of them birthday or christmas cards. He doesn't do it so I don't see why I should.

I sold a vacuum cleaner on eBay and took it into the office for the courier to collect., A colleague (female, late 50s, quite traditional) asked if it was any good - I said, I didn't know as DP (male) did the vacuuming in our house - cue cats bum face LOL.

Unbelievable really

Oh yes, Lizzie! If our house is untidy, it's because I am a bad housekeeper, dh doesn't get a mention, even though we both work FT!

On the sides of one of the machines at work are those magnetic words designed I think for making poetry.

One of the sentences that had been put together was "boy uses weak girl". No-one seemed to think there was anything wrong with this and I suspect thought I was over reacting a little bit.

Now I feel odd about the fact that it might have been one of my current colleagues who wrote this.

When I was preparing to move to another country to be with DH, a female acquaintance asked "So, you will be a housewife then, doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and taking care of the hubby?"

I replied that no, of course I had a job waiting and besides, DH is a grown man and totally able to take care of himself. Actually, he will probably do the laundry.

She thought I was kidding of course. "Your laundry? Well, not like he would be washing all your underwear.."

I'm still waiting for her to explain how it would be different if I would be washing his underwear.