Would you like to play "It's like Feminisim never happened" with me?

[Marchpane]

I have a gem: I'm sorting out the home insurance renewal but since the last policy I have taken redundancy and I'm going back to do a postgraduate course. Which I told them.

They now have my occupation listed as "housewife" which is pretty yuk, but under employer's business it say "domestic service".

Presumably my husband is my employer and I spend my time in servitude to him?

Any one more?

Sounds like the PERFECT time to me Ephiny, go out with a bang!

We were awaiting planning permission for having our driveway resurfaced when an Irish gentleman came to our door offering to tarmac our drive. I explained that we could do no work until we had received planning consent. At that, he went on to say that we needed to get the drive done first then apply, whereupon I explained that that wasn't the case in this instance.

At that point, he waved his hand dismissively in my face and asked 'is the boss in?'! I asked him to repeat himself then calmly told him that I WAS the boss and shut the door in his face.

Unfortunately DH thought it was hilarious and can't wait to bring it up at any opportunity!

Chipmonkey - yes, DPs mum only blames me for the (admittedly filthy) state of our house and I think that it wasn't that I was such a brilliant cook I would probably not be considered good enough for mummy's little soldier. She's great really though - genuinely lovely.

Got another one - a colleague is really glamorous - blonde, heels, loads of make up, the works, so of course everyone assumes she's abimbo but she actually has an MSc and is a real expert in her field

Tell me about it.

I am on a career break (OK, houswife as of tomorrow when youngest starts school - grim, must get a job) and First Direct often refuse to speak to me and ask for the man of the house (not literally, obviously, but it often feels like that given that he doesn't have a clue what is going on financially and I do!).

Walked into an Audi garage around three years ago, because I needed a new car

Wandered around a car, opened a door and looked inside. This attracted an unreconstructed salesman. I asked him for a test drive. He said 'Well, not now. It'd be better if your husband came.'

Needless to say, I didn't buy an Audi

I had a new friend around for coffee and after a general chat she said 'Doesnt DH mind the mess'. I replied that if he minded the mess he could use the two hands and two legs he has been blessed with to rectify whatever it was that was bothering him and left it at that. Her DH expects her to do all the cleaning and childcare though (her house is pristine) and she cant stay anywhere later than 6ish as she has to be home to cook his tea for him.

Another aquaintance from when we were living abroad asked me why I was listening to DH's music when I had Rammstein and Alice Cooper playing (he wasnt even in the house and is more of a Pink Floyd man).

One memorable mortgage application was one where DH was offered a cup of coffee and I wasnt, and the advisor talked only to him. This was despite the fact my mother was the guarantor and I was putting up 90% of the deposit. We left before DH could finish his coffee

Two things spring to mind. DH and I went to same uni. A while later I donated some money to their hardship fund and mentioned that we had met and married. When the alumni mag came through later I looked for my name in the 'supporters' list. No mention. Odd. My husband was listed instead. He never even spoke to them.

And the conservative party confirmed why I don't support them by addressing campaign literature to Mr & Mrs DH first name DH surname. That riled me.

I only got my PhD two months ago butI'm a bit disappointed no issues with Dr and Mr have come up yet (yes I know that's actually a good thing). Though whenever we've checked into hotels, I've always been busy with the baby.

anyway finger crossed for you porncocktail

Hilarious and depressing in equal amounts, this thread.

Repeatedly when at work, a male colleague will ask a question. I will give the right answer - I'm good at my job and also have fantastic general knowledge, which is pretty essential in my line of work. No reply from bloke. A few minutes later, he'll ask the same question again. A male colleague will answer. The first male colleague will acknowledge what he has said and trust that he is right. None of these men are what you would describe as sexist or unreconstructed males but they still listen more to a male voice than a female one. Both myself and another female colleague, who is much louder and more vocal than I am generally, have repeatedly commented on this. It doesn't change. The sad thing is you can interchange any of the men for each other in the above scenario. It doesn't happen every single time, but boy oh boy far, far too many times.

|I also had the CRB not accepting Ms thing. Why? Why do women have to be defined by their marital status ffs. It was so refreshing living in Spain where women are legally always the name they are born with and it's just not an issue.

It is a great way of getting rid of nuisance cold callers though, when they say Mrs DP? and I reply, no, there's no-one of that name here. . They just don't know what to do, so say goodbye and hang up in confusion.

I also find it incredible the number of times emails come around in work announcing that somebody well known in her job has now changed her name to her new husband's. Why on earth would you want to give up years of association of all the work you have put in under your own name? Genuinely mystifies me that one. Don't wish to offend people on here who have done it though, but in my profession your name recognition is pretty important.

Just this morning, I was telling my mum that dh has offered to get me tickets to Wimbledon 2011 for the semi-finals as a birthday gift. I mentioned making a weekend of it as I may not be able to make the last train. To this, she asked how I'd make such young children behave at Wimbledon. Confused, I said I wasn't planning on taking them. Mum was shocked. "How will he manage all weekend with two young children?", she asked. " The same way I manage all week with them", i replied . She still isn't convinced

I'm 25 years old, on mat leave with DS who is almost 7 months, but due to return when he's 11 months.

Recently visited a friend who is 26, has a toddler and who's husband doesn't want her to return to work. Despite the fact they barely have enough money coming in to cover the bills.

Was getting out of car at said friends house and was undoing DS's car seat to lift it out of the car with him still seated.

Friend greeted me in the driveway and made a bit of a fuss and said she'd go and get her DH to lift the car seat out for me

I know she was just trying to be nice, but I turned to her and told her that if I needed a man to lift the car seat for me everytime I went out I'd never leave the house cuz my DH works all day and I can drive myself.

This same friend doesn't drive and relies on her DH to ferry her everywhere.

Would drive me insane living that way.

Another thing which sticks in my mind happened about 2 years ago.

DH irons all his own work shirts, usually on a Sunday night to make sure he has enough for the working week.

A middle-aged male friend came round to visit us one Sunday evening. He took a look at DH standing ironing while I sat on the sofa reading a book and I could see his confusion in his eyes.

He proudly announced that in 21 years of marriage he's never ironed a thing!

DH laughed at him and said that he enjoyed ironing.

Quite clearly woman's work in DF's opinion.

Well Dp and I split roles depending on who will get the best out of the situation according to old fashioned gender stereotyping. So if we think the problem/situation needs a man then he'll do it, if feminine wiles are needed I'll do it.
It works brilliantly. I'm very happy to play the dumb incompetent woman role in order to get a man to help me out. I'll often say " oh dear I don't really know what I'm doing dp normally does this stuff"

Oh and don't you love the "if you don't want to take care of your own children (that is, be a housewife until they are about 25 or so) you should not have them!"

A bunch of male colleagues have recently had babies and interestingly, I have never heard anybody asking what they are doing working and why are they not at home taking care of their children. Why have them at all if you don't want to do that, right?

Oh, you mean that this only applies to one of the parents, the female one..

I haven't read this whole thread but floozietoozie I really identify with what you say - both at work and even personally. I like football and because I'm a geek I know more about it than a lot of guys I talk to. But when I'm with my DH in a social setting and the conversation turns to football, if I join in, most men (not DH) totally ignore what I say. They repeat the same question, or 20 minutes later they say what I said as if nobody said it at all. When I met my dad's wife's family at Christmas a few years ago her brother-in-law forced me to explain the offside rule to the entire room because he didn't believe a woman could do it. And then he tried his best to trip me up! (Needless to say, he's a wanker).

LittleRedDragon I did a PhD too and people assumed the same. And when we moved for me to take up a research post at a really great university (once in a lifetime opportunity I was lucky to get; DH is a teacher so he could move relatively easily) I lost count of the amount of times people said 'what? your husband is moving for you?' or 'you're going to have to do a lot to massage his ego. He'll probably feel emasculated moving for a job for you'. He didn't, of course, not least because my income pays half the bills!

Haven't read the whole thread, but when I was a PhD student, I was told by a visiting male PhD student: "You must be very ambitious, not many girls do PhD". I gave him a hard stare and ignored him for the rest of the time. Five years later I met him and he asked me if he did anything to offend me last time ...

The Mr and Mrs thing really stinks. FIL was put right about it. We are Dr and Dr, thank you very much. (Did tell him that my friends call me by my first name. Was that a bit rude?)

Yes I have that experience too - I'll say something in a meeting or discussion and it just gets ignored, only for a man to say pretty much exactly the same thing later and it gets picked up and discussed/praised/acted upon. Drives me crazy, it really does.

McDougalls flour's current promotion for "Flossie Crumbs Baking Activity Book" All pink and sparkly and full of "fairy fun" - 'cause obviously boys don't bake

I know boys could use it but it obviously aimed at girls.

at two doctors in the same bed
whatever is the world coming to

God, this thread started out as funny in a shocking kind of way, but having read it all I'm just depressed.

I was gobsmacked recently when BIL asked a question, I answered it, he said nothing, then waited til DH was in earshot, asked exactly the same question to him and got exactly the same response. I thought it was bizarre and told him so, SIL just laughed and said, oh he does that to me all the time!

Went with my sister to buy a garlic crusher in an upmarket shop. Asked man there which was best. His reply? 'This one is great. You'll find it really handy when you're making your boyfriend romantic meals...'.
I'm NOT joking.

I did actually raise that with the Flossie Crumbs people, AlCrowley (they are "local authors" here so turn up at events a lot) and they did say that they'd had a lot of feedback along those lines and were planning a follow-up that wasn't quite so girl-centric. That said, DS has the full-length Flossie Crumbs book (rather than the giveaway... but just as pink and sparkly) and doesn't seem bothered by the girlishness of it.

On closer inspection, the book does have a token football in the bottom corner of the cover

I doubt my DS would be bothered by the pink either Prof, he'd just love the recipes. We had a great time making Gingerbread people on Saturday.