Would you like to play "It's like Feminisim never happened" with me?

[Marchpane]

I have a gem: I'm sorting out the home insurance renewal but since the last policy I have taken redundancy and I'm going back to do a postgraduate course. Which I told them.

They now have my occupation listed as "housewife" which is pretty yuk, but under employer's business it say "domestic service".

Presumably my husband is my employer and I spend my time in servitude to him?

Any one more?

I am waiting for a comment on the 'Dr' on all my cards (or DP and me being 'Dr and Dr'), but so far nothing. It's like feminism ahs already happened!

That reminds me, actually, during my pregnancy and after DS's birth I read 'What to expect when you're expecting/the first year'. While there was some useful practical stuff in there, I was infuriated by the constant diet advice running through the book - basically saying 'now, ladies, you'll want to watch your figure so that the weight will just drop back off after birth, so make sure you don't eat too much and always choose the low fat alternative etc.' One of the diet tips was 'If you must order a dessert, try sharing with a friend or your husband.' Anyone trying to share my dessert while I was pg or breastfeeding would have had to pry it from my cold dead hands

Isn't it weird that the Dr thing is still an issue? Surely it's not unusual any more for women to have PhDs or become medical doctors?

scratching head here ...How could girlfriend's PhD offend her boyfriend? Or if it somehow does and she still wants to do it, why is she together with such a person who would be offenced by something she wants? Ridiculous.

Just remembered another one, I was in a branch of Boots last month and they had 'Boys' Toys' & 'Girls' Toys'; the boys' toys included a science kit, surely they can see something is wrong when the pharmacist there was a woman!

Ephiny, I think people are actually more ok with a woman being a medical doctor (a nice safe GP, one assumes).

A woman I know, who'd be in her sixties now, was told by her own mum that using the title
'Dr' was 'rude' because it was a man's title and women shouldn't assume it. Also, I believe when Cambridge finally started awarding women degrees (in 1948, I think? Very late, anyway), there was talk of finding an alternative title for a female PhD.

When DH and I bought our first flat together (before we were married), my MIL took me to one side and said: "Now, I'll show you how to iron his shirts."

Me (after several deep breaths): "Few things here. I know how to iron a shirt. I do not ever iron anything though. And if he wants his shirts ironed he can do it himself." With a smile, obviously: her offer was kindly meant.

Then, when we bought our next place, MIL said: "Where will you do your work?"
Me: "Umm, at my desk, why?"
MIL: "Oh no, I meant chopping the veg and stuff."

Oh well. To be expected: my PILs refer to the radio as a wireless and to elderly women as gals.

What a thread - not sure if this counts as it happened around 20 years ago when I was mid teens but anyway..

I was in a cafe with Dad and Stepmum and noticed that they had a 'proper' banana milkshake (fruit, milk and ice cream - yum) on the menu so I ordered it.

Stepmum said to me in an appalled voice - 'aren't you on a diet'???

I have created a monster thread

I own a company and I have a male admin assistant working for me. A few months after I started trading, HE received an invitation to join the Institute of Directors.

Does anyone know if that is an inherently sexist organisation? Or did we catch them on a bad day?

One that happens to me when working at a conference a lot - I work for a company that has a large exhibit booth and people come and get demos/information. Between customers, I'll be standing looking for anyone who looks like they need help and approach them (by dint of the industry, they are normally male). Me 'Hi, anything I can help you with ?' them 'yes, I'd like to talk to someone about x' me 'oh, that'd be me then' them 'Really ?< total incredulity>

I also was talking to someone about something v technical in earshot of a customer who knows this thing is my baby. The guy would not believe that I knew what I was talking about, and I kept having to pull up documents to prove points. He eventually said 'well, you certainly seem to know what you are talking about". Other customer came over and said that I needed a beard and socks/sandals to be taken seriously by some people..

Four years ago I was just starting as a (very junior) academic at an Oxbridge college that shall remain nameless. There was a pre-term dinner, to which spouses/partners were also invited. In the first half an hour, three separate older women - all wives of older academics - started the conversation with me by saying "now, my dear, and who are you with?". Note that this was 2006.

I also quite regularly encounter older male colleagues who seem to think it is OK to ask about my private life almost immediately - and on one memorable occasion, after I said I was single, this was followed up with "why? do you not like men?".

The CRB issue - I'm married but with the same surname as before -and filled this in as I saw fit but - on finding the guidance notes - realised that their logic was completely different.

Whistlers Mum - I always do the same. And for the same reasons.

But, actually, Mrs Jane Smith is not a real title. If Mrs is to be used, it needs to be used with the husband's Christian name.

DH and I have recently got married and we have to re-register our children's births at the register office now we are married.

The form asks about the mothers' previous marriage details but not the fathers. I would love to know why - am very tempted not to bother completing them.

Booked a holiday online with Thomson (DH pretty clueless when it comes to this sort of thing and leaves it to me) - all correspondence etc addressed to me, I paid via my bank account - the tickets arrived with DH listed as the lead member of the party and when we got to the hotel everything was booked in his name... I asked why this was and was told (rather pityingly by the female rep) that the computer automatically recognised the man as the head of the family group...

I have also been quizzed on the phone as to whether I was married or not when trying to rent a tv (many years ago!) and giving my title as Ms. When I replied it was none of their business and anyway had no bearing on my renting of a telly, the woman on the other end of the phone said that I HAD to say if I was married, it was the law![gobsmacked] I politely suggested otherwise and then she wanted to know WHY I was a Ms, didn't I want people to know 'what I was'?

Needless to say they didn't get my custom.

And neither did the Halifax Estate Agency who ignored everything I asked them and addressed themselves solely to DH, before he had to enlighten them that as I was the one who earned the most, it would be ME who would be arranging the mortgage!

If you look at books on etiquette apparently if your mail is addressed to Mrs. (husbands name/initial) surname that means you are married but if you put Mrs. (your name/initial) that means you are divorced. Time to rewrite the rule book I think.

My husband is actually very pleased that I have a phD. If someone rings asking for Dr. (surname) and assumes it's him - he says "you need to speak to my wife"

I'll admit it adds spice to the cold call:

'May I speak to Mrs Antidote?'
'Sorry, no-one here of that name.'
'Oh, is Mr Antidote at home.'
'Nope, no-one here called Mr Antidote'
'Oh'
'Goodbye'

When I telephoned Sky to cancel the TV contract (in my name, incidentally) because we were moving to Virgin, the Sky call-centre man tried every trick in the book to keep me with them, including telling me that Virgin don't offer Sky Sports 3, and 'your husband will be very angry when he finds out what you have done'.

I had fun with their 'customer feedback form', I can tell you...

Oh lawd, I'd forgotten the occasion a few years ago when DP had some sort of delivery he and he alone was supposed to sign for. Delivery bloke asked if I was his partner, and I said yes - because I am - and that was apparently OK. So I signed. And delivery bloke then looked in horror at my signature and said but this is a different surname. Yes, I said, it's my name. But I thought you were married, he said. Er, no, you asked if I was his partner, I said with helpful accuracy, but if indeed I were married to him why would that make a difference? He bleated something about how it's usual.

In London. In the 21st century. Yeah, right.

I had a job interview for a traditionally male dept and was told by the Prof that if he gave me the job it would only be because of 'political correctness gone mad'as it would be a waste as I would never stick with it once I got married (I was 23 and single)

I ended up in a different (equally 'male')dept of the same organisation and at the xmas do where he evidently didn't recognise me he told me how nice it was to have an attractive young girl there and would I like a glass of champagne in his room ...etc (50+ and married eugghhh)

Ephiny one of my colleagues has stopped visiting her MIL because she gave her tiny portions of everything, offered her fruit salad instead of the dessert which her dh, who is not skinny by any means, was offered second helpings of. The last straw was when they went for dinner, her MIL told her there wasn't enough food for her so offered to make her a sandwich!

to Civil, I had been starting to feel petty. Following your comment and Crazymum's I have checked Debrett's and see that Mrs Jane Smith is a divorcee, not a widow as I had always thought (thanks for nothing Whistlers Gran). So ... I'm off to make some changes to my envelope printing database.

I was in my bank to pay a cheque into to our joint account which someone had sent me in my DH's surname (Mrs Hubby's Name).
So I explained this to the bank teller who said I couldn't pay it in as this is obviously not my name.

I suggested that this must happen quite frequently with joint accounts and since I was trying to pay money IN not take it out, and they could see my hubby's name on the account, I couldn't really understand why this was a prob?

Then the man in the 'Co-operative' bank said "ok we'll let you do it this time but you'll need to send us a copy of your marriage certificate in future. Why don't you just change your name?"

I was, to say the least, unimpressed.