Would you like to play "It's like Feminisim never happened" with me?

[Marchpane]

I have a gem: I'm sorting out the home insurance renewal but since the last policy I have taken redundancy and I'm going back to do a postgraduate course. Which I told them.

They now have my occupation listed as "housewife" which is pretty yuk, but under employer's business it say "domestic service".

Presumably my husband is my employer and I spend my time in servitude to him?

Any one more?

Oh yes, we had our kitchen renovated recently and the number of comments from designers/builders to me only about 'where you'll be standing to do the washing up', 'when you're cooking him dinner'. All the implicit assumptions that the kitchen was for me and I was the only one who'd spend any time in there.

DP cooks as least as often as I do, and is almost solely responsible for dishwashing duties (this works out fairly as I do most of the laundry)

My brother's school insisted that male teachers were addressed as "Sir", but female teachers "Mrs Brown" or whatever. When my father questioned that at a parents evening, he was told, "Well 'Sir' is a sign of respect!"

By all means, but why do they need a sign of respect when the female teachers don't?

It goes the other way too. Our elderly neighbour is always commenting 'I saw your hubby putting out the washing the other day. Isn't he good? I never would have got that.' Everything DH does - which is a lot - that we consider normal is commented on by our old folks around here. Now we're moved to the country and into the 1950's. It has its benefits too. They think he's some kind of super hero. Which is is but little do they really know...

I had a swimming teacher who liked to be known as 'Sir'. She spent her time off touring deserted battle fields.

Yes! My dad and my mum split the housework. My dad enjoys cooking, but gets home much later than my mum who is a teacher. So my mum cooks during the week but at weekends etc my dad cooks. He also does ironing, cleaning etc along with my mother and everyone congratulates him on it! Nobody thinks it's amazing that my mother cleans up after herself...

Also, the Gadget show is on in the background and they're testing computer games on heartrate. The man is given the shooting game, the woman is given the game where you plant flowers in the fields.

My best one was getting a quote for car insurance a few years ago. I was asked why I was the main driver (for my car!) and didn't my husaband want to drive it to his office as it was a nice powerful car?? Needless to say I didn't make use of the insurance company who used this foreign call centre; imagine if a guy had driven into me - it would have been all my fault!

Name and shame Lady!

To be fair, I think as insurance rates for women as main drivers are lower than for men as main drivers some couples do put down the woman as main driver to save money on the quote even though the man is actually the main driver, and insurance companies are aware of this fiddle.

But there are ways to gently probe the division of driving and then there are ways not to, and that company appear to have studied the "not" ways in depth.

He had already probed, I explained I drove DS 5 miles to school, parked the car, commuted into town and then did the same journey in reverse. He seemed to think it was a waste and DH shouldn't have to sit in a train with a nice car available.

It would be better then if women had to pay the same insurance rates as men . No more sheila's wheels because that's sexist.

Just remembered another one. Some sort of book thing at DD's school last year. Kids get a free £1 token to choose a special £1 book. The books were divided not just by age but by gender, so when she tried to get the 'boy' book she was encouraged both by the TA and her classmates to get the 'girl' which was pink and had two stories in it, one about ballerinas and the other about kittens FFS. DD unbothered but I wrote a stinking letter to the school and the book 'disappeared' and was replaced by something more to her taste.

*girl book

Should older more experienced drivers also have to pay the same insurance rates as younger less experienced drivers? It's about actual statistical risk, after all (which is why women generally have higher premiums for some other financial products -- statistically they are likely to live longer).

Think it was mentioned earlier that someone had to put down homemaker because they weren't in full time employment for insurance. This isn't a feminst issue.

I used to work in insurance and could let a "homemaker" contine with their insurance but had to straight decline a student or anyone unemployed.. The person was probably just trying to make a sale!

Men and women can be homemaker on their insurance as well.

I think that was OP -- and issue was in large part that it wasn't "homemaker", it was "housewife" (which presumably a man can't be...) and the "employer's business" was listed as "domestic service".

Insurance isn't costed due to sexist/ageist/job-ist/location-ist reasons, it's because the statistics show how likely a person of a particular gender/age/occupation/town is to make a claim.

I have a confession: I always address married friends and relatives on envelopes as Mrs Hisinitial Hissurname (unless widowed or divorced, when I will use Mrs Herinitial Hissurname). Why? Because it really annoys me that they changed their surname .

really WM? You're just trying to drive a point home eh?

Just thought of another one.

When round to dinner at some friends' houses, they dish out the food in "Girl Portions" (small) and "Boy Portions" (large).

Might sound petty but I have a very large appetite (despite being titchy) and it really grates to see Mr Bird Like Eater being given a steak twice the size of mine simply because he is male.

I know a big department store where the toys section has been neatly organized into 2 groups and labelled. As "Boys' toys" and "Girls' toys".

I also just saw a book that translates approximately as "For the young 'lady of the house'" and is advertised as "This book is useful for a young woman who lives by herself or has just gotten married and does not have enough experience with domestic tasks. This book teaches you how to budget, do your grocery shopping, cook tasty meals and keep the house tidy."

Now, I don't object to such books in general, of course they could be very helpful if you have just moved out from your parents place and could use some help and tips. But a book for a young woman who has just married and should learn how to cook and clean for the hubby now?

What is even more absurd - this book was published in a country where the employment rates for men and women are equal and womens' is one of the highest in Europe..

"Mumsnet - it's like feminism never happened"!

Yes I get that too - my MIL does it especially with dessert or anything she considers 'fattening' - 'you won't want too much of this, will you? I'll just give you a little slice, here, is that small enough?'

I don't know if she's trying to tell me I'm a bit fat, or just trying to be nice and not make me feel pressured to ruin the diet that I must, being female, be on. My mum always offers me low-fat alternatives as well.

I'm not fat, I'm really not (right in the middle of the 'healthy' weight range for my height) and I'm not on a diet! No idea why other people seem to be obsessed with my weight and diet on my behalf.

Long time lurker, but to add to the Dr issue. I was out for dinner with my female cousin, DrX. She kindly paid for dinner and her card was returned to the table of men beside us. As neither of us could be "Dr".

We got our dinner for free in the end.

Ooh turkeyboots well done on getting it for free! I recently went out for dinner with some colleagues - some of us post-docs/young lecturers and others PhD students. One of the female PhD students saw my card and said 'OMG, you use 'Dr' on your bank card?' And when I said yes, she said, 'but doesn't that make you and DH Dr and Mr? Do people think you're a gay couple?'

When I told her I didn't care if they did, she promptly told me in no uncertain terms that she wasn't going to use 'Dr' once she got the title, because she was afraid it would offend her boyfriend and sound weird to other people

People are mental!

God, this thread is so depressing.

Ephiny my MIL is the reverse - she's practically a feeder where I'm concerned I love my MIL.