Rape within marriage

[tabouleh]

Yes unashamedly a thread about a thread.

It is like entering the bloody twilight zone over there.

Jeez there are MNers basically caring more about OP's husbands right to sex rather than believing OP and helping her.

Totally understand if this gets deleted for being a thread about a thread - but if it gets more of the feminist viewpoints onto that thread then great.

Gigantaur,

my sexual technique has improved since I was 26. As I said, I was naive as to sex, went to boy's public school then Cambridge (ratio of 3/1 in those days, so no chance there for a geeky spotty youth) so lost my virginity in my early 20s. Happily married now thanks and no complaints from my wife. Cheap shot, though.

no larry someone doesn't need to give you a formal "yes it is ok to have sex with me"
if her actions would reasonablky suggest she is ok with it all then i think you are safe.
by that i mean that she is respinding to you kissing her, she is touching you back.

she isn't passed out drunk or asleep, she isn't kicking and screaming and she hasn't already told you that no! sex is not happening tonight.

i don't see why that is so difficult for you to grasp

And you don't think your stupid story is a cheap shot? Jesus wept - attacking a man's prowess as a shag is so much worse than saying that a bored shag is the same as raping someone? You stupid, stupid man. Your poor wife.

larry, I think you will find women prefer to be asked for consent rather than raped.

Ok Butterflyeffect,

If it is not deemed consent, do you in all seriousness ask for permission before straddling your partner, and have you done that all your life?

Umm, if my quirk or flaw might allow someone to offend me and commit a crime unknowingly, I would certainly tell any prospective sexual partner.

So, sorry, no apologies. Women are not infants. I treat women as grown adults, able to take responsibility for communicating their desires (or lack of them).

My days of pulling are long gone, and my wife always enjoys sex (or at least is kind enough to pretend to and be enthusiastic about it). My concern is for the world my son is growing up in. At some point he will be a horny adolescent, and I would not want him criminalised for assuming that a girl taking off her clothes and opening her legs implied consent. Do any of you guys have adolescent male children starting out on the road of relationships.

If I am derailing the thread, please do not respond. However, if people respond (even to say f*ck off) I tend to feel that they are engaging with me.

Smallwhitecat,

WOuld you like me to send my matriculation photo to you? Natural Sciences, Christs college, 1983-1986.

You really want to take that bet. I am prepared to give you my name, contact details etc. You will be light your material possessions.

Larry I am going to find you a link or two to show your adolescent male, you could also ask him to read this thread.. and discuss with him how you had a unfulfilling sexual relationship with a woman for a year and it was dull, and you brought up consent on a web chat,

You could tell him that you genuinely wonder if you have issues with consent, and you could tell him that you never ever want him to wonder about consent, and so therefore you could ask him to always respect woman, and make sure that he checks with them before sex, whether they indeed want sex.

I'm with you on that one, SWC! Doesn't have the brain if he can't comprehend the difference between rape and consent.

Actually, take that one back, some of the dimmest most chauvinistic people I ever met were at Cambridge, Larry fits the bill perfectly.

However, if people respond (even to say f*ck off) I tend to feel that they are engaging with me.

and there lies the problem then larry. if you think a woman telling you " no. not tonight dear" but then falling asleep means it is green lights all round then yes you have a problem.

your son doesn't need to be psychic to work out when a woman is up for it or not.

if she willingly gets naked and is participating in what is happening it is ok to assume she is giving you the nod. if she says no! then you need to stop.

where is the confusion?

Have to say that I know people who have gone to Cambridge who would be disgusted with the views that Larry holds.

Butterflyeffect,

You clearly know nothing about Oxbridge. I did indeed get a 2E offer, because I took the 4th term entrance exam and passed it. Those were the only 2E offers available. The entrance exam was way way beyond A levels in the days when "A" stood for advanced and not "Any fool can get an A"

StewieGriffinsMom,

www.cps.gov.uk/publications/docs/prosecuting_rape.pdf

"The Sexual Offences Act 2003 requires the defendant to
show that his belief in consent was reasonable".

Reasonable belief in consent is still the standard, sorry.

AS soon as people do not respond to me or mention me, I will be gone.