Traps For Women & Girls

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

I've been thinking about how a lot of the time it is impossible for a woman to win when it comes to choices.

For example, it seems that everyone is very keen for mothers to stay at home, especially those with small children (should say that this is second hand, I have no DC yet). Public opinion, childcare costs, media etc all make clear that that is the right choice.

And yet when they do they become expected to do all the housework (even at weekends), vulnerable to charges of being lazy, "ladies who lunch", overprotective etc.

And if they work part-time they are often seen as uncommitted at work, and still have all the downsides of being SAHM.

Or if you wear make-up and heels some people will judge you as a bimbo, but if you wear a t-shirt and jeans and trainers, then you are probably depressed or a lesbian (nothing wrong with being gay, just a stupid judgement to make on appearance alone) or not making "enough" effort.

Was wondering if anyone else had examples of being caught in these kind of traps?

Available data suggests that nearly one in four women worldwide may experience sexual violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime (WHO, 2002).

· At least 47,000 adult women are raped every year in the UK (BCS 2001).

· Since the age of 16, 5% of women in the UK have been raped (BCS 2001).

· There are increasing numbers of young victims of rape aged under 20-years-old (Kelly, Lovett, and Regan, 2005).

· 40% of young people know girls whose boyfriends have coerced or pressurised them to have sex (EVAW, 2006).

It is quite a high number of women in the UK who have been raped... Something like 100 every week I seem to remember. I think it is in here

What has shaped my views on this one topic is what made me a feminist in the first place, is the way that I was treated during my late teens and early 20s by men when I was just going about my daily business. I have never had anything really terrible happen, but a catalogue of casual sexual assault as long as your arm. I dont see why I had to put up with that, and I don't see why my daughters should. It is that that makes me angrier than anything else TBH.

isnt thanks for answer.and why do so many of you get incandescent at divergent view.all the oh you are vile,snidey etc is that ok then?

given i haven't used such retorts,what makes it ok to dish it out.is it so ideologically challenging that you need to demonise and name call

do try harder

i said vile and snidey, sm, no one else.

and i said it because you knew fine well the answer that you might have got was that the poster had herself been raped and you still thought it was more important for you to crow 'jesus wept' at her and ask 'what has shaped you?' as if she was a freak than it was to make your point in a more measured fashion. which was pretty vile, imo.

I think the reason people get arsey is because this is the feminist section, and while obviously everyone can post, people can get a bit worn out with repeatedly having to justify feminism itself.

A bit like the people on teh green threads having to explain and defend the whole idea behind their movement every time they try to have a quick chat about compost.

I'm off to tell everyone on the camping topic to stay in a hotel.

no im not looking for justification of feminism nor should i be expected not to robustly discuss.

aitch you are way off mark,i haven't compelled isnt to reveal anything. i queried a statement made on an open forum,she answered

let's go and tell the ttc-ers not to bother as the planet is over-populated already.

what point are you struggling to amke aitch

& the pedanz tht txtn is gr8

dittany your presumption is erroneous and misplaced.why do you presume "problem with feminism"

I would also concur that many of the women on here have come to feminism through things which have happened in their lives which have, yes, shaped their views. And necessarily those views will be different from someone's who has not had those experiences.

However just because the second person has not had these experiences, does not mean that the initial persons feelings are wrong or an over-reaction or a false view of the truth. It may be the person with no bad experiences who has the false view.

If the feminists were acting on a view of society that was false, there would not be so much supporting evidence to show that there is in fact inequality between the sexes. Gender pay gap, stats on rape and sexual assault, what is happening in other countries around the world. The inequality is demonstrable, women who have experienced or witnessed or discovered this inequality might be roused to want to effect change. This should not be a problem for the women who haven't experienced it etc, surely. I don't see why it matters to them.

On that note I'm off to bed to watch Poirot...

Oh and also proles thank you for those stats, I think. They are utterly horrifying.

yes we are all experientially shaped by familial,societal,cultural factors.but individuality of experience and personality means not all experiences are necessarily shared the same way.that's what makes it all so damn interesting.people aren't a homogeneous mass.throw class,education,race in the mix too

no dittany you see /read what you wish to see.your interpretative spin.so tell me do you know the definitive parameters of feminism? because most others agree its complicated

again you are off mark,i haven't said anyone stupid or name called. i have participated.maybe not concurred to a specific view,but that initself doesn't mean one can rock up and say oi scottishmummy thinks posters are stupid.that is just shit stirring

ok,i think the assumption that women will be habituallty put upon,down trodden is fatalistic.denies female ability and confers us status of lesser individuals.an assumption being made is societal/male power is so great we will be crushed.the machinations of oppression will render us weak.fatalistic notion we are fucked.and majority of girls cannot deflect societal messages,nor can their parents.if a man had said that stuff posters would go apoplectic

this broadbrush appraisal of women is derisory and disempowering.denies individual difference or power of agitation

i abhor this notion of women as inevitably crushed by machinations of oppression and patriarchy

inequality exists - yes
patriarchy exists - yes
but the rub is we all experience it differently and different degrees.throw class,race,faith in the mix.it is all fascinating

feminism has undoubtedly benefited my life.someone else agitated for things i benefit from.for that i am grateful

that's why it doesn't sit comfortably when i read these poor us threads.as if its inevitable.
i dislike this notion that male power will inevitably grind us down