2WW for breast clinic referral - anyone care to join me?

[OneMoreForExtra]

Referred to breast clinic yesterday after finally acknowledging I wasn't imagining the indent on my left boob. Normally I'm very sanguine and unflappy but this has me completely distracted and tearful. I've banned myself from Google (easy now as I've read everything ever published about breast indents over the last 24 hours) but have no idea how I'm going to avoid going bonkers while I wait. I don't want to talk about it IRL till I know if there's anything to talk about, but think I need an outlet. Anyone else in the same boat?

No, it’s at my local hospital but the computer said phone gp but there’s the clinic phone number on the letter so I might phone that instead. X

Hello,

I'm waiting for a 2 week referral too- I have some symptoms that could be inflammatory breast cancer.

Google has not been my friend as I've found out that IBC is only diagnosed at stage 3 or 4 and has sometimes spread distally at the time of diagnosis AND I know that if I have it there is 0% chance of me ever having kids and that life expectancy is reduced.

I have developed some chest related symptoms (wheezing, mucus-cough) in the last week and had IBC like symptoms for over a month.

I am soo scared! I'm going to phone up and ask if there are any cancellations tomorrow as I would take a same day appointment if necessary. I was referred on Friday but haven't received an appointment letter yet.

Is anyone else still waiting?

Oh and I'm 30 so I guess relatively young.

Just phoned the clinic up an apparently they’ve been trying to phone me, I have no missed calls my appointment is next Friday, exactly two weeks, that’s me off for more Valium at the docs then 😞

Hi Vi37 and Emily - sorry you find yourself here too. Try and step away from google and remember that majority of lumps and bumps are benign. Whatever it is - we can’t change it’s destiny now. We will all find out soon enough. It’s been over 4 weeks now since I first went to gp, and I am just about still sane!

I’m doing quite good on not worrying- have been so damn busy on this holiday that I haven’t had time to stress. A good friend joined us for a few days yesterday, haven’t seen them for 3 years so they are proving to be a brilliant distraction! That and the 3/4 of a bottle of vodka that we consumed last night is definitely helping. Plus I am struggling to remember what day of the week it is so have no idea how long it is til Monday most of the time!

Trouble is, already been on google and can’t un-read things now!

Just been to the docs for some sort of reassurance....again she tried her best but I know they can’t say anything, they don’t know what it is either. I don’t know why I went really I’ve just wasted someone’s appointment, I was just in a bit of a mess. My mum in law has terminal cancer and I just look at her and think that’s exactly what I’m going to be like soon I can’t stop myself at all and I can’t seem to get on with anything. I can’t eat unless my partner or mum and dad force me to and I’m only sleeping because I’ve tired myself out worrying. 😥

Hi Vi37 - I just wanna give you a hug!

Can you think of it this way instead? - you have googled, you know the worst case scenario so you are prepared for that, however you know,even from just reading this thread, that the odds are in your favour that all will be fine.

You can’t control the outcome and that is what is currently making you panic - look at what you can control instead. You can control phoning up and seeing if there are cancellation appointments, you can control trying to fulfil some of your day with positive things, you can come on here and get reassurance and know that other people are going through exactly the same. It’s not necessarily easy - and I think I’ve had an easy time of it this last week as I’ve been on holiday so got loads of distractions. Try take back some control and don’t focus on what you can’t.

I know exactly how you fell, as i said I've been through to twice so far. I say so far because it will probably happen again. The first time I was lucky enough to be able to use my DH;s private cover and was seen on the same day as GP. However as the cover wasn't full and the diagnosis wasn't cancer, I had to pay for the tests. It came to about £500! The consultation was free(£125 normally) but the ultrasound, biopsy and pathology had to be paid by me. I still think it was worth it because I knew straight away. Is there any way you could go private for your anxiety? If US shows nothing you may not need a biopsy.

Aw Vi37, I can completely relate at the moment. Your appointment is just two days after mine (I found out mine is on Wednesday earlier today) and my mind has been playing out the worst case scenario just like yours!

Don't feel worried about wasting an appointment- you have a legitimate fear based on your symptoms and it's OK to go to talk things through as the 2-week wait seems to last forever!

I found that keeping really busy today and doing some fun things really helped- obviously my fears were at the back of my mind but I just decided to enjoy the day as much as I could because all of the other days during this fortnight have felt like torture!

I hope you're OK.

Thingwhatsit, that's lovely you're on holiday- where are you? Sounds like a great distraction!

How is everyone getting on today? I had a really good day yesterday as I was so busy but I'm worrying a bit today!

Hi, glad you had a good day yesterday, I pretty much feel exactly the same today unfortunately. 😞

Aw Vi37, that really really sucks. Sending hugs!! Is the diazepam working at all?

What did you do today?

She’s doubled my dose so I take it at night because my partner is here to look after my little boy if I feel drowsy. It does help a little. It just takes the edge off the panic. I took my little boy to Tropical world today, it’s like a butterfly house, there’s fishes and turtles and meerkats and alsorts, it was lovely seeing his little face! How are you today? X

Aw that sounds really fun and lovely for your little one!

I hope the double dose diazepam works better. Do you have IBC-like symptoms or a lump?

I'm OK thanks, just decided that I will cope whatever the outcome. 9/10 people find out they don't have cancer when they go to the breast clinic so that's positive!

Do you find you feel more anxious in the evening? I've noticed I can be fine in the day but then become anxious at night!

Everything is worse at night. Hang in there ladies. When you go to the breast clinic you will see the same fear in all of the other anxiously waiting women. It calmed me strangely without even speaking to them, the mutual smiles really helped.

It’s a couple of lumps I have. Yep, things are worse in the evening. But my partner has taken my little one to his Nanas just now and it’s just me in the house and it’s awful x

Thank you Cambalamb, that's really good to hear that you felt calmer when you were in the waiting room with other people with the same concerns.

Vi37, poor you, it's so stressful worrying about what it might be. Are your DP and DS going to be away for long? Could you go somewhere with them later?

I woke up early in a panic this morning and decided to write a children's story book for my baby nephew so spent about an hour starting that and it really distracted me from the anxiety!

I'm not sure if this helps but remember that even in the worst case scenario treatments are really effective these days and people live with cancer as a sort of chronic condition and just carry on living and doing normal things. Some people recover quickly and live to 80 and other people find a new normal. Then there's also the fact that 9 out of 10 people that visit the one-stop clinic have benign breast conditions.

I'm trying to tell myself that i will cope whatever the outcome on Wednesday! Do you have a morning or an afternoon appointment on Friday and are you going with your DP?

I spent all morning at the clinic. DH came and that really helped because he is a calm, logical person(opposite to me) and just kept reminding me how unlikely it was to be cancer. I had a consultation first. Had to lie flat and he examined both breasts. He said he thought it wasn't anything serious straight away but needed to check. I felt much better, had to get dressed and wait in another waiting room for mammogram. The wait was nearly an hour. I had the mammogram(my first ever as I'm 47 )then was told to wait again, another hour!! By this time I was convinced it was cancer they had found on the mammogram. Then i got called in to another room and told to strip top half and lie flat. Then a different consultant came in, she said the lump looked like a cyst on the mammo but they wanted to US it to be sure. Immediately she saw it on screen she confirmed cyst and offered to drain it. It was drained off completely and I watched it disappear on screen. I was set free and we floated out of there, straight to the pub for lunch and a glass of wine! Thinking of you all still waiting and hoping you will get the same relief.

Thank you so much Caramblamb! that's really helpful to know what to expect. My Mum had a similar experience to yours and she saw the consultant/surgeon that I'm supposed to be seeing too.

I'm not sure if they'll only ultrasound me as I'm 30 so mammograms are apparently not useful yet (as the tissue is too dense) or whether they'll biopsy the red area and my blurry areola/rash. I guess it's a bit different because they're looking for inflammatory breast cancer so there's redness but no lump. If it's cancer it will be stage 3 or 4 (IBC is only diagnosed at stage 3 or 4) but if it's not then that will be great!

A pub lunch and a glass of wine afterwards if everything is fine sounds great- I might do that too!

Thanks :)

Vi37, how are you now?

Hi, that’s great news everything turned out well for you cambalamb. Hi EmilyrosiEl, just can’t pick myself up at all, trouble is I feel even worse because I’m upsetting my mum and dad too with having a miserable face all the time. I just don’t want to go out or do anything, the only thing that takes my mind off things is obsessively cleaning everything in sight because it takes no brain power.

Aw Vi37, sending a hug! I am feeling the same about upsetting my family. As someone with severe OCD I wouldn't usually suggest this but definitely keep cleaning if it helps for the time being. I am finding running and walking helpful though as it uses up some of the adrenalin! If you can face a brisk walk tomorrow it could help a bit but I understand if you're feeling too awful.

Remind yourself though how strong you are- you can cope, you will get through this, whatever the outcome. If the outcome is benign (most likely) then that's great! If the outcome is not such a good one then you'll cope with that too. It will just be a case of taking it one step at a time.

One thing that you could do is phone up (or get your DP to phone if you're feeling wobbly) the breast clinic each morning and ask to take any cancellations that come up. That way you might be seen far sooner!

Are you in your thirties too? (just guessing from your username)- do you feel a bit too young to be dealing with such a huge worry? I know people can get ill in their childhood/teens/20s but I still feel really young to be facing this!

Thank you so much for your support, yes I’ve just turned 34. I didn’t know I could phone for cancellations I might try on Monday. I have severe ocd too ever since having my baby. X

I'm sorry to hear that- OCD really sucks, just not quite as much as waiting for these stupid breast appointments!

I have been in a bit of a panic tonight! Hope you have a better day tomorrow- do you have plans? x