Annoying Literary Cliches

[wukter]

I hate "The Somethings Daughter/Wife".
It's never The Insurance Claims Processor's Wife or The Carpet Fitter's Daughter.

Also hate feisty heroines.
Why can't they be mild mannered and polite, and yet have an interesting life.

Well. That's off my chest anyway.

And interfering bossy mothers - yawn

I hate people in 'chick lit' books who are really in a rut romantically and then they have a revelation, get 'a smart new bob that frames the faces' and start gardening and lose loads of wait. In particular I am talking about Patricia Scanlan's novels to which I am both addicted and repelled.

*weight.

And with it new age old grandmothers with a new lease of life that makes everyone shake head with wonder.

Also in Patricia Scanlan novels (I do read good books aswell!) women eject thin plumes of smoke from their Yves Saint Laurent cigarettes when they are being sophisticated and often have a 'frisson' of excitement when they see the object of their desire. Apartment 3B anyone? It is very eighties.

It's terrible, EEnteresting.
I felt so grown up reading it as a preteen in the 80's. Chicklit seems to date so badly. It's interesting, in a Look How Far We've Come kind of way.

yy to old grandmothers partucularly with an acid tongue, a sharp mind, and a warm heart.

wukter - I hate feisty heroines - Maggie O'Farrell does a lot of those - feisty and unconventional.yawn.

Books where they namedrop designers like Manolo Blanhik/Jimmy Choos and lots of others I haven't heard of.

I hate the "daddy = kind, quietly supportive goody" and "mother = interfering, tactless, self-interested baddy" thing you get in so much chick-lit.

oh thank you wukter, just started an almost identical thread

I read the usual crime/thriller trash and I was thinking the other day there are two cliches that really wind me up and put me off a book.

1. The characters in the book all have to be "super special" for something in particular, the most intelligent, the most beautiful, the best shot...there was a book in particular I was reading that was so bad for this that I had to stop reading it, but I can't remember what it was.

2. In most thrillers the main character is usually described fairly early on. If the main character is a man, he's described in terms of his intelligence, professionalism and personality. If a woman, looks.

( I know you know that as you pointed me here )
can anyone think of the book I mean? I think there was someone who almost died who was super intelligent, a very big guy who was super gentle, a woman who was the best shot in the world and no doubt the rest of them had magic powers as well. There wasn't one who was amazingly average

Books that were obviously written to service a (crap, punning) title. E.g. 'Her Fearful Symmetry' (it's about twins! Identical twins! Who have a strained relationship!) or 'Paperback Raita' (JUST FUCK OFF WITH YOUR SHIT PUNNING TITLE YOU CASHING-IN WANKER)

the main character is a writer - come on author use your imagination!
willowy women with clouds of hair and slow smiles - she is obviously high and has set her own hair alight
eyes that cloud over - have anyone actually witnessed this event?
i could go on..

and yes i agree wukter re. the 'organ grinders cousin fifth removed' type titles

books that are gratuitously violent. I read a book by Shaun Hudson, thought, hmm that was OK, bit violent though, then read another and realised it was basically justa violence novel with a plot line strung around it to fill in the gaps and they all follow the same basic formula

Shaun Hutson is barely literate though. He writes on an antique typewriter so that he can throw it at the wall when he gets stuck. He is one massive cliche!

Welcome, SPB,welcome.
I don't read too much crime/thrillers, it's more chicklit and er proper literature for me, innit. So I wouldn't know the book you are referring to.
But totally agree with your point.

Where are the books about average, polite, not unattractive women who work in credit control? Are only stunners proposed to or murdered ?
It's why I like Jane Eyre (read it quite late for a Bronte). She is plain and sober.
Come to think of it, she is proposed to and implicated in bigamy, arson and a suspicious death! She has it all.

Self-consciously quirky titles make my teeth itch.

Stupid shit like "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" or "The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Society" or whatever it is.

Might be great books, but I'll never read 'em. The literary equivalent of someone going "I'm mad, me."

In thrillers if the main character is a woman (FBI agent etc) they aren't capable of hving a life and a job, they never go home and then fall in love with the lead Detective.

snort @ bobbie.

YY bobbiewickham.
"A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian", can't bear to pick it up.

Or in Tess thingys books the lead is a female Dr/surgeon who marries the lead Detective in the last chapter after hating him in all the previous chapters.

And I hate the clothes writers put characters in. I can never imagine the outfits, they're always so...unlikely.

Don't put her in a purple silk blouse and a white velvet skirt with snakeskin slingbacks, Foolish Writer Person.

Shove her in jeans, t-shirt, cardie and converse, so she looks like the rest of the world.

fecking, free spirits floating about 1940's ireland astounding the locals with her ability to wear chifon

Slummy mummy types, oh aren't I just a terrible mother, I drink wine in the day and my children live on cheerios, and today I crashed the 4X4 on the way to kindergarten etc. It's just boring and over done now.