bad sex awards: how about childbirth?

[Elasticwoman]

Article in the Times touched on the literary award for bad sex in a novel. I wondered whether any one has any contributions for a literary bad birth in a novel?

Can't think of any toe curlingly embarrassing childbirth in fiction myself, but a funny one in Adrian Mole, when Adrian witnesses the birth because the nurses mistakenly thought he was the baby's father, so we see the birth through his eyes and then the fun of the nurses' horror when they realised who he was! (Thanks Sue Townsend - a memorable scene.)

I can't ever remember using the word labia during sex. Do you think I might have issues?

I don't think I've used the word Labia ever.

I suppose the singular is labium.
Or is it labia (sing), labiae (pl)?

Oh G-d! I meant the childbirth scene, not the sex scene, with reference to your dp UQD
I'll get my coat...

VS and S2T1, I too have never had cause to use the word labia either, although my dp has quite an extensive vocabularly in that area...

after lurking about yesterday this was costing me some sleep and then woke up at about 3 am and I knew
hate being obsessive

dh has a couple of your books btw

Does MNHQ know who you are???
They should sneak one of your books into the book club.

Don't worry, katepol, I knew what you meant!
And yes, to an extent, is the answer.

sfxmum - the Virgin ones?....

V-S I confess I have never used the word labia, ever. I just didn't want to sound too provincial. Anyway, what is a labia?

I think it is a creature from Narnia.

UQD this is an atheist music/ cinema/ sci fi obsessed interested household, where dh was at one point a SAHD
probably target audience

Ah, yes, Narnia. Now there's a word I do use during sex.

Me too swedes, I often yell 'Oh, Mr Tumnus' at the crucial point.

Oh phew - worked it out! It's quite unsubtle once you realise, isn't it?

Is it me, or is there something missing from the links page of your website?

I've been lurking since yesterday and still can't figure it out

Yes, Habbibu, I actually thought I was wrong as it was too obvious.

Got it, feel quite embarrassed that it took me so long!!

I've sneakily sussed out who you are, UQD, and I believe I have one of your books in my toilet! (it has a pinky-red cover and very definitely does not mention childbirth). Your secret is safe with me though .

Oh - just realised pinky-red book has already been discussed. Sorry. It's a classic of toilet literature though [that is a compliment, btw].

Lol, in the toilet, I suggest you take it out and put it in the airing cupboard, it may end up crinkly but still readable.

Smallest room, then. Or whatever you call a room with just a toilet in it.

Poor UnquietDad....destined to be remembered as the author of a classic of toilet literature.... so sad

Still, at least if we all buy his books, his children can have turkey for Christmas this year instead of gruel.

Don't forget his serious novel.
That is the important bit.

No novel can be classified as serious which mentions labia.

You may laugh, but said toilet book has been a perennial bestseller... I'm laughing, if not all the way to the bank, then at least part of the way there!!