What would you say to cancer if you could? Share your thoughts and stories with us to celebrate Victoria Derbyshire's memoir Dear Cancer, Love Victoria - a copy of the book plus a £100 House of Fraser voucher to be won

[SorchaMumsnet]

Dear Cancer, Love Victoria is BBC journalist Victoria Derbyshire's moving and honest day-to-day account of life after her breast cancer diagnosis.

“I can't bear not to be with the three most important people in my life. I can't bear not to be there alongside Mark as my children grow up. My bright, funny, affectionate boys who are never embarrassed to say, ‘love you Mummy’, and say it 10 times a day.”

In 2015, much-loved and respected BBC journalist Victoria Derbyshire found herself in the news, with a devastating breast cancer diagnosis. She decided to live out her treatment and recovery in the spotlight of video diaries, that encouraged thousands to seek help.

Dear Cancer, Love Victoria: A Mum’s Diary of Hope shares Victoria's day-to-day experiences following her diagnosis. Wonderfully heartwarming and ultimately uplifting, this is a powerful account of a brave struggle told with courage and emotion, that will hopefully give strength to anyone touched by cancer.

Victoria's book is all about speaking openly and honestly about cancer, something that will probably sadly touch all of our lives at some point. We'd like to know: what would you write to cancer if you could, or simply - how has cancer has impacted your life? Share on this discussion thread for a chance to win a copy of the book and a £100 House of Fraser voucher.

Buy a copy of the book on Amazon

This discussion is sponsored by Orion Books and will end at midday on Wednesday 1 November

Books T&Cs apply

[nauticant]

This thread has been a breath of free air. When I read the OP I assumed I'd be a minority voice in saying "hang on, that's unhelpful".

[ringle]

Agree with everyone else

[Supermam]

Very refreshing to hear that other people also hate all the winning and losing battles imagery surrounding this disease. Anthropomorphising it makes it worse. It takes courage to get on with things and try
to make a new normal, I think, but it's a fight to preserve a normality rather than defeat a force. As for the pink shit....grrrrrr.

[pnutter]

Dear Cancer, you've taken my peace of mind for 7 years, and my job, and now as a knock on effect, my home. Me and the kids are being evicted. I am starting more treatment and im trying to find a home at the same time and keeping dd going through her final year at primary and ds going through his depression. You have subjected me to some horrible surgeries. Youve kept my mouth shut as people dont want to hear. You are taking the life of another lady i know with the same, as we speak. We talk about you a lot behind your back Cancer, and none of it good. There's 33 of us slagging you off in a fb group and although you are deemed an unusual cancer, all 33 of us know you inside out and we are all one voice in this way. Youve brought us together.

[YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet]

Hello everyone - . Thanks for all your feedback - Orion would like to offer the 'winner' a choice between the House of Fraser voucher or a £100 donation to the charity of their choice, in recognition of the issues being raised here. Many thanks.

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

That’s a lovely idea Becky :)

I hope it’s OK to post a link here to the cancer support thread just in case it is of interest to anyone. (Victoria is very welcome too! )

There was an interview with Victoria about the book/her cancer experience in this month’s Good Housekeeping, which I thought was interesting. Apparently there was a lot of backlash after she shared the video where she held up signs saying she had cancer in the morning and didn’t in the evening (after her surgery). I said the exact same thing after my surgery. I found it odd having chemo when I didn’t have cancer anymore. Though in my case I was mistaken.

Cathy sorry I missed your link. Thank you for sharing. I will have a listen later :)

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Sorry that sounded a bit weird like I am wishing cancer on her or something. Obviously I’m not! I shall blame my incoherence on chemo and steroid brain

[nauticant]

I nominate @reallyanotherone as deserving the £100 voucher.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

Pnutter

I am so sorry to read what you have been through . I send my very best wishes for you and your children. It sounds very hard .

No words reallly but a stranger is thinking if you and wishing that things can ameliorate

[TerracottaTurtles]

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

Orion would like to offer the 'winner' a choice between the House of Fraser voucher or a £100 donation to the charity of their choice

No, a charity donation wasn't the basis of this promotional thread

MNHQ wrote Share on this discussion thread for a chance to win a copy of the book and a £100 House of Fraser voucher

Orion can offer the donation in addition to the book and voucher but not instead of.

[TerracottaTurtles]

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

Orion would like to offer the 'winner' a choice between the House of Fraser voucher or a £100 donation to the charity of their choice

No, a charity donation wasn't the basis of this promotional thread

MNHQ wrote Share on this discussion thread for a chance to win a copy of the book and a £100 House of Fraser voucher

Orion can offer the donation in addition to the book and voucher but not instead of.

[TerracottaTurtles]

Sox for double post!

[TerracottaTurtles]

Sorry not sox!

I'll get my coat ...

[pnutter]

Thanks stopf x yep its a pile of shit at the mo. Just wanted to highlight the other non physical effects a cancer diagnosis has on a family.

[gemmie797]

It's because of cancer that I have a job as a nurse. It is also because of cancer that I was widowed at 31 years old.

[Blahblahblueblee]

I agree with everyone else with what they have said about battle talk. I lost someone very close to me with cancer recently, he was told Your too young to have cancer’ when he went to the Dr with symptoms but when they found it was cancer it was too late. Sometimes all the willpower and battle talk in the world can’t cure it, such a horrible disease and it’s changed my world. for everyone here

[CountDuckulaTheSqueaky]

I'd tell it to fuck off.

[torthecatlady]

Cancer like many diseases is shit. We need more funding to find betters cures. I lost my mum because of cancer and it turns my whole life upside down in so many ways. Awareness of different cancers is good these days, but there's the rare cancers like my mum's mesothelioma lung cancer which often get overlooked. To die from lung cancer when she lead a healthy lifestyle and never smoked a cigarette seems ridiculous. My uncle had smoked all of his life, yet does not have cancer.
We need more funding and more medical trials, pronto. I hate cancer. It hurts so many people, even those without it.

[oldcrownie]

It's all luck. Bad luck you happen to get it. If you are lucky it can be treatable, but sometimes you can be unlucky and it doesn't respond, spreads or comes back.

It totally fucks with your head and your outlook on life. It hurts those who love you too.

Ds's brush with the disease was brief and straightforward yet it still never seems to be over. Currently waiting on 1 year post op scan results. No reason to suspect it has come back but the fear just won't go away.

[OhHolyFuck]

Agree with pp, my best friend is 'fighting' as much as she can and at the moment doing really well, but the cancer is terminal and at some point sooner or later will kill her
It's not that she's not 'brave' or 'strong' or 'doesn't want it enough', it's that she's been 'unlucky' enough to have it in 3 different locations and surgery isn't an option/chemo is not enough

[waitingfortheendtocome]

Cancer you are a nasty bit of work!
I was happily living my life without a serious care in the world. Then I received my diagnosis and that was the end of that! Telling family and friends, then sadly some withdrawing, I can only assume they had no idea how to deal with it, because I feel the same. My young teenage boys watch me cry in pity and pain! I've gone bald, put on weight and mope around the house with fatigue, they try their hardest to comfort and help. But no child should see their mother go through this! Yep cancer you are a nasty bit of work I'm only half way through my treatment and so far it's nothing but brutal...

[SouthWestmom]

Really, there isn’t anyone to speak to : it’s like tilting at windmills or shouting at the tide to stay still.

There isn’t anyone listening is there? So I can’t imagine what I would say.

For my family, what was important was what we said to each other, not some imaginary enemy. This is just a disease, a ‘something gone wrong’ and let’s not make it more scary than it is.
It has no teeth or claws, it’s not death personified, it’s an illness, an endurance, and some of us will die.

[Namethecat]

I've lost loved ones to cancer so I'd tell it to F off and jettison itself to outer space !

[ArgyMargy]

I agree with really and all those who have said that anthropomorphising a disease is unhelpful and using battle language etc. I wouldn't say anything to "cancer". I'm just trying to find my way through a scary disease, as someone who has never previously been ill. I'd rather we put our effort (as others have said) into research and implementation of treatments and support for those who are suffering. And people like WhatwouldLesley who are outstanding in how they tirelessly support others while going through horrible times of their own.

[ILikeBigBumpsAndICannotLie]

I'd say leave me alone now, I've done my time, lost my job, lost friends, lost myself. Against all the advice and expectations, I had my baby, now leave me alone and let me raise her.

If cancer was a person I'd hope it would be cathartic to shout it at someone instead of into the ether. Might take away some of the helplessness.