Similar to some others, I wouldn't say anything 'to' cancer. I am another who doesn't use the terms 'battle' or 'winning/losing' - though I do understand why people do.
But what I will say about cancer:
My mum died shortly after she turned 54 years old. My brother and I were 22. Adults, yes, but so young. And even writing that I feel guilty because so many people 'go through worse'. My mummy will never see me get married, have children, compete in my sport, get the career I want. Cancer took that away from us.
My mum did fight. She didn't 'lose' anything. She fought until the end, she tried so hard to do everything right. She didn't die because she wasn't a 'fighter'. She died because she had a horrific illness, which was spreading inside her no matter what treatment she endured. An illness which gave her horrific pain to the point she had burns across her back from the hot water bottle she used to try and take away the pain.
Cancer is not always dignified in death. It is not always pain-free. It is not always going to sleep peacefully. It is not always at home or at a hospice. My mum suddenly deteriorated so rapidly that no one expected it. She died in a Resus cubicle in A&E, with internal bleeding, unable to swallow, with her husband and her 22-year-old children holding her hands.
And cancer is not always dignified in life. We hear stories about those who 'take everything in their stride', who deal with everything in great humour and cope brilliantly with it. Which is lovely. But it isn't always reality. Cancer means nights of tears, days of lying and holding your loved one's hands and talking about memories. My mum cried her heart out to me because she just wanted to take all her morphine one day, she couldn't bear the pain, she couldn't bear the thought of leaving us. My mum told me once to always let her know if I move house, in case she's looking down and can't find me. Even writing that breaks my heart in two. Cancer means anger, sadness, guilt, fright, shock, numbness, confusion. Sometimes you don't cope. And we need to acknowledge that is ok.
We need more research. Into the less survivable cancers too. Pancreatic cancer statistics have shown almost no improvement at all in the last 40 years. It is still diagnosed notoriously late.
We need research into gene therapy, into ways of diagnosing cancers earlier, into the various treatments and therapies, but also into the psychological and other needs.
And finally: I am proud of my mum. I am such an incredibly proud daughter. My mum will never seen me achieve everything I do in life. But forever and always, I will be so very proud of her, my world.