breaking the can't cope/ tired/eat cycle help

[frustratedmom]

I need ideas on where to start. Know you are a world of knowledge so please pass on the advice.

where to start
how to stick.

Anything.

Velvetcushions - met you on another thread. Does that affect your eating habits too?

Frustratedmom you must be talking about the effect of ds2's allergies.
It only affects my eating habits in that I tend to comfort eat and munch through the day way too much when I feel down. As for meals, I try to make a meal that everyone can eat.
I cook with chicken, lamb, beef, all veg, pasta, rice, noodles so meals aren't too bad.

I do actually like lentils and pulses so will occasionally cook something like a chick pea curry which only I'll have as dh doesn't like it and me and dh will occasionally have a prawn or salmon dish but I prefer to give the kids the same thing.

How does it affect you?

I comfort eat but no due to allergy bit -I have always had food intollerances (ADHD and food triggers) so the worst that gets is I check everything for milk -even when boy not with me

Ds has special needs (behavioural issues and G&T and poss ASD) so comfort eat a lot and not good at cooking/wanting to eat sensibly when stressed/tired/not feeling well. Have just made progress here and i think this is giving me chance to feel like I can do something for me finally

Thats wonderful! You must be really chuffed
It must all be so draining so its good that you're getting the chance to focus on yourself a bit. The best thing is, when you're healthier and happier, you'll be a less frustatedmom and better able to deal with things

Lets make this work for all of us!

Yep things keep going on as they are and i am going to have to change my name - can't wait!

Great news about your DS frustratedmom.

My DS1 also has SN (some mix of dyspraxia and AS). Thankfully he is not too much of a problem day to day. He gets frustrated and difficult but he could be so much worse. He is 8 now. I do worry where he is going to end up though.

I do feel like I am letting him down by being tired and lethargic all the time. I don't put half the effort I should into making sure he gets plenty of exercise and he is getting a bit porky now. Perhaps a new start for me will help him too. He was always my slim one (DS2 was born chunky and still is although not fat) but now he is overweight too and me not bothering to cook properly is not helping I am sure.

You'd think the guilt would be enough of a motivation wouldn't you but it seems to sap my energy as well.

When the problem seems huge you tend to give up. Getting that way with spring cleaning - itg doesn't look like i am actually making any progress. It will but it doesn't at mo.

Suppose as i keep telling ds. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time One bit here one bit there and it will all be done eventually. Not kicking the coke right now I'm so tired I want the whole world to go away so i can sleep. 2 days left before ds back from dad's and need to be done.

magic wand anyone?

Niecie its good that you recognise the problems and Frustatedmom is right about eating an elephant one bite at a time

Why don't you try to make sure that everyone gets one portion of fruit a day and aim to cook 2 meals a week as a start and take it from there?
I cook every day but most days I'll only cook things that take about 20 mins to prepare or one pot dishes that you can slow cook or shove in the oven.

Frustratedmom I'm sure you're making good progress and you did say that you would bin the coke once you got the cleaning done so we can let you off. Just for now, otherwise I'm getting ready to put on some size 11 big tough boots

Better put that size 11 on. Knee bad, painkillers not even touching have place order for B&J's icecream.

Oh dear, that doesn't sound good frustratedmom - what have you done to your knee?

I'd have a glass of coke if you think you need it. Actually, I think it might be asking a bit much to completely stop drinking coke if you are drinking so much every day. You are probably going to be hit with horrendous headaches and other symptoms whilst you withdraw. Perhaps a measure reduction every week might be wiser.

If you are drinking 3l a day now, drink 2l and an extra litre of water for this week, 1l next week, 0.5l the week after until you can safely drop it without suffering withdrawal.

OK everything will take longer but if you are feeling rough and you know a glass of coke will make it all better then you are more likely to slip off the wagon imo.

Boots would still be needed to ensure you didn't stray off the maximum amount for the day.

Don't worry frustratedmom - today, being a Bank Holiday is technically a Special day so you are still whithin The Rules
I won't be needing those size 11's today.

Tomorrow is when we're going to have to exercise our willpower and start our new healthy regime
Hope you've all got a plan.

I got a plan - remaining coke bottle donated to sister, bottle or low sugar squash close to hand for an intermedite between coke and water for drinks. One coffee prob about lunch tomo as have drunk around 5lt coke yesterday and the same today so probably have enough caffine to run a power station. And will still be flying tomo. Give me a couple of days - then there'll prob be side effects. But have started to suffer from coke induced side effect, so prob good time to stop Currently finishing tub of ice cream

And the best good girl bit - stuck some soup mix lental/bean stuff in to soak for some easy lunch tomo (soup will be out of tin and will be my planned cheat as prob full of sugar but think this counts as progress and will think about addressing soup sugar issue later) feeling smug. lets see if it actually happens

As for knees - its just how it has been for years, got self dislocating knee caps (a development thing) and sometimes they rub on knee joint and gets very sore and fuild filled. And just to add insult to injury unconsious protection of knees means I have put my back out (again) vodka is apealing right now as might be only thing to give good night sleep but 100% sugar and a def cheat so not even bothering to walk down to shop. plus just discovered almost a whole days worth of calaries in 1 tub of B&J

I have name changed. Frustratedmom was gone, today the school report reads:
"Has made progress but needs to try harder"
Struggled to stick to diet but have greatly improved and velvetcushions you'd be proud NO COKE! One chocolate bar -improvement on normal 5. Most importantly pscyologically thing have moved on so much I feel like I can do this and that I will actually achieve state of complete contentment.

Hope you have had a good day!

You are definitely making progress
The name change is a good sign and huge, huge well done on the coke. It must be hard but you know it makes sense.
(I gave up smoking about 8 years ago so can liken it to that. I'm so glad I gave it up. I stopped ruining my health and saved my money.)

If you're anything like me, then the real test is the evening. I can get through the day fine but can undo everything in the evening. I'm really going to try not to from now on.

I had one chocolate bar too
The only reason was because I went to the local shop and bought some stuff for £4.60. They wouldn't take my card for less than £5 so as I was at the counter, I just grabbed a bounty. Obviously as it was there, I had to eat it

Apart from that, its been a good day. I had a yoghurt and cereal for breakfast, a healthy choice crayfish wrap for lunch and a small bowl of chicken and noodles for dinner.
I think I need to include a bit more fruit in my diet.

Hello
I need help too.
I am 3 months into my "transformation". So I don't know if I qualify to join you, but would like to .

I am doing Nutrisystem and have lost 15 pounds, but am currently stuck on a plateau. I have started illegal nibbling and perhaps need a boot, too, to stop .

And a boot to start drinking water and another to remember vitamins .

Maybe I should hang up a bunch of boots in my kitchen!

Hello toomanystuffedbears! the more the merrier, my memory is dreadful too

Are you reading my mind velvetcushions? Yes the evening is hardest. Right now I have slipped right into the pit of no return.
In the last 2 hours
Mum "dad's cousin from australia is coming to stay from Fri to sun
ME mental note "ok Ex here tomo for ds' pre-school boosters he leaves fri, fri to sun cousin, sun to sat mum's best friend over from norway" Tough but just about do able - might take boy away for part of next week but enough time to get finished.
Ex "Ds not coping well being away from you. He got up at midnight and wouldn't go back to see until 6am. He got up for the day at 9am. We tried to ring you but your mobile was off and didn't want to wake your mum."
ME mental note "S*T. S*T"
Discussed with ex and I am going down to his for a few days and then heading off to borrow his parent's caravan for a week as neither thing our change phobic DS will cope with the situation that is going to happen.

SO instead of having tonight and tomo to finish getting tidy and sorted (why oh why did i decide to go through the toys?) I have to get finished by 10am tomo and have packed to 2 weeks. The coke called I have weak will power Aim boot here

Thankfully ex thinks I am a psycho on coke so that is a coke free zone so there is hope ... just

Hello toomanystuffbears - welcome and well done on your 15lbs to date. Here's to the next 15lbs (if 15lbs is what you are after of course).

Nice name, movingintothefuture. Very positive. Don't worry too much about a dodgy start. You have a lot on your plate at the moment. Tomorrow is another day and I do think it takes a while to settle into a new way of thinking. Hope your trip is a good one - maybe a change in routine will give you the kick start you need.

Velvetcushions - well done on your good day. I totally understand the problem with evenings. I am exactly the same. It is the hardest thing to change and it is madness because it is probably the part of the day that I am least hungry as I have just had my tea!

I have had a mixed kind of a day. We went to Portsmouth for the day. Saw loads of stuff, walked miles and had a sensible lunch. Unfortunately, it was spoilt a bit by a visit to Pizza Express before we came home. Not so great. Oh and the small matter of a visit to the Cadbury's factory shop. I don't have to eat it all at once though do I?! The odd treat every now and again to keep the spirits up won't harm, on those 'S' days of course.

And I didn't drink enough water which I was hoping to do to fill me up and just generally because I don't drink enough.

And I weighed myself this morning.......

Danger point tomorrow - trip to the cinema. What to take so I don't feel like I missing out on the cinema eating experience yet won't make me any more of a porker than I already am? (Don't say popcorn - cinema popcorn is a bit bleurgh imo.)

bag of mixed dry fruit - blueberries/cranberries/apricots etc. DS' favourite grab bag for snacks and trips out.

I am weak willed and the old stuff in cupboard loft thing seemed more copeable with so will finish spring clear out another time. This is why is has taken over 6months so far

Hey ho at least will get ou stuff done as I shall be sleeping at ds' great gran's for a few nights (less routine disrupting to boy) and will get evenings to do something. Particle physics here i come -via a quick stop of vodka bottle tonight one glass promise made today an S day.

S because it marks a point that has an impact on the long term future and yet still signifies and move into the future.
Just realised won't be getting 1 week r&r to get things done in summer after all. need to get organised so don't actually need it. Hope ex gets chance to spend more time with ds eventually - they both need it.

Oh are you OUing too?

I'm sat here trying to do an assignment (basic research techniques for psychology or whatever the damn title is) I can't do it during the day without abandoning the boys which they would probably love because they would have an excuse to play computer games all day. They shouldn't really though should they? I should make more of an effort.

It doesn't help with the going to bed and getting some beauty sleep.

Having said that, I nodded off earlier.

Particle physics sounds very high brow - Post grad or 1st degree level? I'm doing an MSc in psychology - the research techniques is a compulsory part of it and very very dull. I want a real psychology course. Roll on October I say - do the exam and move on to something more interesting. I might actually get motivated to do some work!!!!!

Dried fruit might be an idea - am going to Sainsbury's in the morning so will see if anything takes my fancy. Either that or grapes.

Better get on I suppose - the deadline is Friday. Shame there is no way of disconnecting the internet whilst studying as MN is a big distraction. Unfortunately, I have loads of stuff to look up on the web so I can't even get DH to hide the router or something equally drastic!

Know what you mean how is it 2.30am already? Will confess now that it is only a short course (6 weeks started it 2 weeks ago and finish at end june)
Only taking it so can keep one step ahead of ds who at 4 either wants to be a partical physist, astrophysist or astronaunt. Thinking about the cosmology short course in sept if don't get teacher training course applied for.

Q: how are you managing to do this and finish your ufo as well? what are you superwoman

right being strong turning computer off ...

just after one more check

You night owls!
How do you deal with so much on little sleep? I have to go to bed by 12 otherwise I can't function.

Grapes are a good idea for the cinema.You can just slowly munch on them and they really are delicious.

I admire you both for doing your courses. Particle physics counds very challenging!

Hopefully you'll have a good and healthy day today.

Has anyone weighed themselves? Are we going to note weight losses?

Welcome Toomanystuffedbears. What is nutrisystem? I love the idea of a transformation Are you going to get new hair, wardrobe etc? well done on 15lbs - you must be fairly transformed already!

coping on little sleep - habit, necessity, coke. and today the knowledge that i shall be going to bed at the same time as ds. Can't wait I am wiped. Have decided that the duvet diet book might be something to scare me into sorting the sleep out. Heading over to order it now. I have made today an S day- anything to survive it. Have abandoned the clearup and am about use use a broom the sweep the remains of stuff into my room where I will look my mum OUT of my room and leave the curtains SHUT so nobody (except mnetters) will know what bombsite I shall have left. I think I need to book my nervous breakdown now... SLEEP...

coping on little sleep - habit, necessity, coke. and today the knowledge that i shall be going to bed at the same time as ds. Can't wait I am wiped. Have decided that the duvet diet book might be something to scare me into sorting the sleep out. Heading over to order it now. I have made today an S day- anything to survive it. Have abandoned the clearup and am about use use a broom the sweep the remains of stuff into my room where I will look my mum OUT of my room and leave the curtains SHUT so nobody (except mnetters) will know what bombsite I shall have left. I think I need to book my nervous breakdown now... SLEEP...

Transformation is a great word for what we are doing isn't it? One of my many diet books said that it is no wonder people fail at diets because in almost all situations in life losing something is a negative thing, except when it comes to weight loss. The book advocated finding another postitive way of talking about losing weight - transformation would do the trick.

How do I cope with so little sleep - I just go through life in a haze with the assistance of sugar probably although I am pretty used to it and even when I did have a more normal sleep pattern pre-children I still don't think I ever managed more than about 7 hours in one go, usually less. It certainly doesn't help your metabolism to sleep so little and I think I need to sort it out as much as I need to sort out the sugar/weight reduction thing.

Movingintothefuture - we won't tell anybody about your bedroom if you don't. I bet it is no worse than our house anyway!

Oh and I looked at the Duvet Diet book - it has more recipes in it than I thought. I suppose I didn't take that in before as I was more interested in the science.

That is true maternal dedication too, taking a course in particle physics just so you can keep up with your DS! I am sure he will appreciate it. What age would you like to train to teach then?

The UFO will get done next week after the assignment is completed. I have been really crap at hitting deadlines this course and I am determined that this one will be on time even if it isn't finished - the deadline is midnight on Friday. And I can do some UFO during the day whilst the boys are home, if they are doing something else. I can't concentrate to study when they are about but I can do knitting!

Not had a bad day so far - been to cinema and didn't eat anything as it happens. I had had my lunch just before we went so didn't feel like it.

See it all fall apart this evening when I have to get back to work.