When you know what to do but you just can’t do it - what works?

[thenewaveragebear1983]

I am really struggling to get myself “back in the game” . I know what I need to do but I just cannot actually stick to a calorie goal. I am either gaining weight or fighting really really hard to maintain. I am getting sick of it now, and I tried on clothes in next changing rooms yesterday and it was a rude awakening.

I’m not in denial and not understanding why I’m like this, I am fully aware that I am eating rubbish, loads of gluten free bread, sugar galore and hardly any veg. I eat a meal and I am immediately looking for something else. It’s like I am both always hungry and also completely disinterested in food.

here’s the good things- I exercise every day, walking the dog, and run 2-3 times a week and do a boot camp as well. I cook most of my meals from scratch and I like cooking. I plan meals and shop online, I drink water (no fizzy drinks juices). I do drink but I can also go without, I did dry Jan and half of Feb.

i don’t even know why I’m posting this, I guess looking for tips and solidarity?

Mounjaro?

Any reason you're not using Mounjaro?

Because I’m not eligible 🤷‍♀️

Do you definitely need to lose ? That’s the first thing. Mind you I was in a middle ground of lot big enough for MJ but too big and menopausal to lose on my former plans. High protein low carb was the only route for me and no bread. I look at a bagel and gain weight immediately

I’m bmi 25 so yes I could definitely lose a stone. In theory. I think it’s more that my body shape has changed as well, I don’t seem to have a waist any more and my thighs and stomach are massive. Clothes don’t fit well. I think I’m a lot higher % body fat than I was a few years ago. I enjoy exercise but I’m tired and I feel unfit and out of shape. The food I’m eating is not helping but for some reason I just can’t seem to snap myself out of it. It’s like a form of self harm in a way, I know it isn’t helping me but I can’t seem to stop it.

@Dogbreath2 I did low carb a few years ago, it did actually work well at curbing the mindless eating. That’s what I feel is my problem, my meals are fine but I just eat far far too much between meals

Don't have snacks in the house.

Yes you say that except a) I’m not the only person who lives here and b) anything is a snack. I can’t have no food in the house can I? So there will always be food in the house. And therefore it takes a degree of self control to not eat and it’s the self control I don’t seem to have.

All I can suggest (and I don’t always take my own advice) is:

Log your food even on a ‘bad’ day - more often than not you’re not as far over as you think so it can help the self sabotage.

Try to resist snacking before lunch, even if you think you will end up having something later, just that bit of willpower can help you keep going longer.

Remember there’s no such thing as a bad day/bad week, there’s only ‘bad’ moments, don’t let one bad moment mean you write off the whole day/week and self sabotage. You can start again straight away don’t wait for the never-coming Monday.

I’m an absolute terror and love to eat every 10 minutes it feels like. It is a real mental thing for me.

I have got round it by not fighting the snacking

but I have to heavily reduce my meals

my snacks are not necessarily bad item. Fruit, veg sticks, bread sticks and soft cheese.

I measure everything, and log everything.

painful but it works

There's just no easy answer to it. To lose weight, you have to go hungry

Try slimming world. You can eat as much as you want of the free foods so you will never feel hungry. They also have loads of really good recipes. I have been doing it since just after Christmas and I have lost 3 kilos. You don't have to go to local meetings if you don't want to - can just do it online (which is what I am doing). Honestly it's been a game changer for me as I am no longer starving myself - in fact I am eating more than I ever have done. Xx

Try Bright Line Eating. Google it. I’m circling it at the moment. Four rules…according to the book, it seems to be foolproof!

Yep I hear you.
No carb is the only way my apple shape belly slims down. And guess what … most of those tasty snacks are carb based.

I found sticking to the same meals ; lunch “Caesar” salad (romaine lettuce, Cleese, bacon, chicken ) dinner ; veg stir fry with beef helped with snacking . I don’t have to think about what I fancy, so in my head food is boring fuel, not a treat.

Do a “rest of the family” cupboard for carbs“. Anything in the fridge should be ingredients rather than anything ready made.
I agree about starting asap rather than waiting until morning or next week.

Have a look at Slimpod? Focused on the mindset needed to sustain healthy habits. Listen to a short recording every day, aimed at helping your unconscious to make better choices. If your head is not in the game making changes is very very hard. I’ve lost 11kg to date - it’s not fast but it hasn’t been difficult, my food habits are much better, and my exercise / fitness level is so so different.

I found that more protein and fibre has really helped in that I’m not getting the sugar crashes any more. I’ve also got better at working out. What is hunger and what is habit, comfort eating . And also, just be it’s good for me I don’t need to eat it. Still a stone overweight but feel more in control and that I don’t have to think about it all the time… getting there basically.

Thanks for all your messages. I did do low carb a few years ago and it did help me lose weight, but because of my running I couldn’t sustain it as I needed carbs. I don’t do as many miles these days so maybe it could work.

the whole eat less/ be hungry/ don’t have snacks is fine in principle. As I said in my OP this isn’t some great mystery to me. I eat too much, too frequently and it’s amazing I am not really overweight. I really notice that I eat for ‘not hungry’ reasons, so that all goes out of the water; if I only ate when I was hungry then I would probably be fine.

it’s annoying that mounjaro is the first response now to this problem and god wouldn’t it be amazing to just switch off that voice and only eat my meals. There must be so many women in this position, I’d have to gain 2-3 stone to be able to get WLIs but it doesn’t mean I don’t have constant food “noise” and a lifetime of “failed diets” and food issues.

anyway- I’m going to sit with your messages for a while and plan my food for next week. My first thing is to give up sugar and gluten free subs because they are full of processed rubbish and not even that nice. I guess healthier snacks like veg sticks and hummus as well. And plan my lunches because otherwise I just grab what I can between calls.

I have had a really crappy start for the year- I’m being made redundant, have had a stressful time with interviews and job searching as well as doing my actual job, plus a running injury so I’ve missed my exercise. And relentless Grey cold rain. So I’m going to be kind to myself and make a plan for the next few weeks.

Sorry to hear about the crappy start.

Do you think you are beating yourself up about the weight because it’s the only thing you can control? If you were suddenly offered a fab well paid job would you be snacking?
Maybe a bit of manifesting. Get a sense of what would make you feel happy and just focus on that feeling.

I need a new job and can’t find anything I want to do. It’s very demoralising.

I’m in your position OP. It would be nice to be able to get Mounjaro but my BMI isn’t high enough.

The only thing that works for me is low carb/keto. It takes away the “food noise” as described by the Mounjaro users. It’s free as well. If done properly, you go into ketosis and your body will burn fat instead of carbs so you will still be able to exercise. It’s difficult to maintain as so much social eating and drinking is carb based but for me it’s worth it.

I am in exactly the same position - even down to being the same rough BMI - I wish I had the answer!

For me the only thing that makes it easier is being really busy (I.e getting out of the house) I’m lucky in that my job is a combination of WFH but also out and about a lot - if I WFH too much it gets significantly worse! Essentially I think it’s boredom that causes my problem

I started because my work trousers (retail) got so tight the zip wouldn’t close and I felt like the waistband was going to go while in work!! (For context I was a low size 12 went to 14, and 14 were the size of THISE trousers!) went well over ten stone which was always the point I knew I wouldn’t be happy as was nine and a half until about two years ago)

At lunchtime I made a note of all the bad stuff I remembered eating in the few days before as I’d known for some time I was getting out of hand and I don’t mean a little chocolate or the like, I mean things like 5 weetabix, sweets in my pocket and in the car, multiple cans of coke/ Fanta daily, crisp sandwiches at lunch/ in the evening , a croissant with every break plus a chocolate bar. I ate fruit, yoghurts and healthy meals at home and fooled myself with ‘but I’m so exhausted I need sugar!! . I’d have a bowl of cornflakes with a cuppa at night.

In the last month I’m down to:
two cans of coke at the weekend
a packet of crisps at the weekend (not in a sandwich!)
One croissant for that Friday feeling and our usual Sunday evening cheesecake
No chocolate (I didn’t hugely like it anyway!)
The odd digestive biccie
haven’t had any sweets but have chewing gum when Im at the till and feel I need sugar
I always have water with me
I don’t feel the need to eat I’m the car either now!
not eating after eight (unless I’m on until ten!)

Im drinking water again and when I feel like anything I have a strawberry/ raspberry yoghurt (I don’t like Greek/ natural etc!) crackers/ an apple/ some grapes/ snack cucumbers or as I said digestive biccies. The first two week I was all over fruit and veg as it turns out I eat when waiting/ doing things/ am stressed! I have got to the stage where I can watch tv without food now (that was soooooo hard the first weeks!)

Im sleeping because I don’t snack at night and also tea is stopping mid day (that weirdly just stopped, didn’t realise I’d put that and food together nightly) I’ve lost only three pounds but my clothes are starting to feel a bit better and everyone is commenting on how well and well rested I look, weirdly I’ve found I’m on the phone less and more in the mood to get outside now!

I disagree with not having snacks in the house, that didn’t work for me as anytime I was in a shop (problem as I work in one😅), I’d grab a croissant and a can and a packet of crisps/ a Kit Kat). now I have a stash but funnily I don’t really feel like any of it!!

Op people on mn sometimes act like it’s all of nothing- like it has to be all salads, Greek yoghurt, one piece of dark chocolate- that’s fine if that’s what needs to be done but a lot of us are erratically eating and didn’t realise it and just need to cut things right back so they become an actual treat, so a few times a day instead of a staple. It’s really really hard but on the days I broke at least I’d eaten so much less that I could have or world have so just got over it!! Hope I’ve helped someone and best of luck x

eta I eat an egg for breakfast daily and allow myself four slices of bread over the day, horrifically I can’t tell you how much bread I used to eat!! Cereal is weekends only and a small bowl!

This thread has actually inspired me so thanks!

Instead of telling myself to stop snacking I’m going to try and snack on more fruit and vegetables (I think for me it’s the act of eating that I like, rather than really caring what it is)

Currently on the carrots 😁

Snacking isnt a problem if you are picking healthier snacks

Nuts, hummus, fruit, popcorn, veg, protein - I love those cooked mini fillets in tikka that you can buy , roasted chickpeas , greek yogurt , eggs

Ive cut my snacking back by filling up at meal times. Previously I would grab snacks ( usually bread based ) then not be hungry for a proper dinner, then find I was snacking at night - more bread.

In the summer months I always have a bowl of couscous or quinoa or chick pea or even mixed bean salad in the fridge - I can just spoon what I want into a bowl and eat on the hoof if need be, and in the winter its vegetable based soups and dahl - instant gratification with just a wee burst in the microwave

As long as I have something that's healthy to snack on I stop reaching for biscuits/cakes and bread

I lost 2 stone and have been maintaining for 2 years now . Sure I fall off now and then, sometimes I want to eat out all weekend and drink wine, but what keeps me focussed is Ive thrown out everything that was a size bigger then I am now , so once the waistband starts to feel snug , I cut back for a week or two, I refuse to yo yo ever again

Mounjaro is the only thing that has helped me focus. I’m able to eat healthy smaller portions consistently which in turn means I’ve lost weight which means I can now manage the gym. It’s been a life changing experience. Bloody expensive but absolutely worth every penny

Maybe you need to focus on your body composition rather than weight. And overall health, which no-one mentions.