Obese? Wanting to join a friendly thread ?

[SeatbeltExtender]

Hi

As my user name says this summer the Ryan Air seatbelt did not fit.
Yesterday I had to sit on a wooden deck chair and I found myself trying to Google what the weight limit could be

So tomorrow I start a diet.
So many threads on Mumsnet are for people much smaller than me
I'm 18 stones and 5lbs.

Please feel free to join if you are seriously overweight, please don't join if you are just averagely fat.

I think I paid £37 for a year of Nutracheck, which I did dither about, but it is quite a bit less than any of the alternatives and I also use it for meal planning.

@HealthyWeightBy40 have you tried speaking to your GP? They might be able to recommend/ refer you to a weight loss service which also helps with the counselling side - I think depending where you are in the UK you're offered SW/ Second Nature/ Oviva free for a few months. I don't think you always need a GP appointment, just contact them and say you're in need of assistance and they should guide you from there.

@Minnie888 if you have the Vodafone app, they are offering 65% off your first Gousto box and 25% off all boxes for two months as one of their rewards? If not I'm happy to PM you my code

Today I feel SO FAT I mean I am fat, but I just feel nowhere near being able to do anything about it. DTS1 (suspected ADHD) has just been dreadful all day - 'hard work' doesn't even begin to describe it - he's 9 years old and sometimes is such an overgrown toddler, there's no reasoning with him and no stopping him from behaving horrendously. Actually you can improve his behaviour by taking him out, making him physically tired; I'd already promised to take DTS2 to his activity and do you think DP could be bothered to take DTS1 out? No, he glued himself to the sofa and gave DTS1 extra screen time by the time I got home DTS1 was bouncing off the walls, I didn't have time to do anything like meal prep/ plan, had to take him straight to the park for a bit. I'm utterly, thoroughly fed up...

Hi guys, I'm taking a week off from weighing myself. I've not been good at all the last week or so, fell into a bit of a hole and thoroughly wallowed in it. So I know it's going to be bad. Ordinarily I could take it on the chin and I know I need to hold myself accountable but I just don't have it in me so I'm having a bit of a reset and will pick up again next Monday.

On a positive note, I had my first meeting with the lady who is hopefully going to be my psychologist last Thursday! I feel like it's a good fit and she thinks that they can definitely help me. They have to do the meeting thing where they discuss it but she's very hopeful and I should know by this Thursday how we move forward. Fingers crossed!

I hope you are all doing well.

@EvangelineFox
A code would be amazing as I don't have have it. So sorry to hear about your day. I would say you need to give hubby a kick up the arse. If you'd been out it really would have been helpful for him to help regulate.... I don't want to pry so don't feel like you need to say but are you looking into a diagnosis? We have not exact same but similar going on at home. One of my reasons for the diet is about feeling like I have more energy (which a 1st down I already do) so that's keeping me going. But ADHD is hard to tire out anyone from. School doesn't help either, they are so pressured all day into regulating and behaving like everyone else it can be like a pressure cooker once home and they can relax

Doing ok here back on the wagon. Made a really low cal butter style curry last night which really love but gosh it takes an hour to cook

@NoDishiForRishi sorry to hear that but sounds like you are really doing the right thing. Give yourself some time that's ok, we are in it for the long haul after all... marathon no need to sprint

Great news about your therapist too. I think with weight loss for so many it's about the lbs yes but often also how we are at mentally. Sounds promising so best of luck with it and really hope it helps

Huge sympathies to those who are struggling. Very much agree it is a marathon and not and sprint and it is a case of getting through the bad days and carrying on.

A friend and I are doing this together, she’s been at it longer than me this time around but we have both been doing it on and off for years. She sent a photo yesterday of her 2 years ago and now and there is a big difference. You don’t see it day to day so really helpful to have a photo to compare.

I’m plodding along. It seems to have settled with the new med dose and I am starting to slowly lose again, 0.4lb last week. Still just over 2 lbs up on my lowest weight before I had to stop and restart meds and put on over 7lbs but going in right direction.

Thanks @Minnie888 and @Seaitoverthere I am feeling a lot more positive today, I'm getting on top of the house work (I let it go hang over half term as there was virtually no point) which is making me feel a heck of a lot better, downstairs is done, four bags of toys to the charity shop this morning, tomorrow its upstairs and putting the washing away. I'm hoping that next week I can finally make a start on my office! Like you say, it's a marathon not a sprint and slow and steady is the best way to do this. Every little bit lost is a step in the right direction.

1.2lb off this week so just 1.4lb left of the 7lb medication regain, just realised it has been just over a year since started. I’ve lost 2 stone and 9lbs. A long way to go and 2 lots of havinhg to stop and restart meds and associated weight gain fora good few weeks at a time is fustrating but I have done it and will keep doing it.

@Seaitoverthere well done on chipping away at your weight loss, I hope things get easier for you!

@Minnie888 I've PM'd you a code, the link was a bit messy so I apologise for making a bit of a muddle of it I think you have to use that specific site to order, but could be wrong! We're still investigating a diagnosis for DTS1 but TBH it's just another item on my neverending To Do list I'm going to take a day off work soon and just spend it on admin time...

@NoDishiForRishi that's great news about a psychologist, I do hope they are able to help you. I'm also trying to do a big housework push but with the DC doing lots of sport it's tough, and DP just doesn't lift a finger, gets in such a mood if asked to help with anything. I did a massive declutter this time last year and it was such a weight off my mind if sadly not my body that I've tried to keep decluttering regularly and handing down/ giving to charity shops whenever possible.

No big update for me - exhausted - just plodding on really!

Thinking of you too @SeatbeltExtender

Thanks @EvangelineFox . I think looking at the figures again I am 2lbs off 3 stone, a couple of extra pounds but all counts!

I had a trial Gusto box recently and I was pretty impressed but found the packaging a pain. I will probably order them sometimes in the future and am trying some of the recipes on their website for now. Yesterday was Thai style chicken with gingery veg and brown rice and was good.

My psychologist called yesterday and I officially start 10 weeks of therapy in the new year. I have another hour session next month as well to prepare for it. I've been sent over a bunch of information about grounding methods for dealing with triggers and I'm feeling very positive about it all.

I've done upstairs, 3 further bags for the charity shop are going today. I will be making a start on my office next week, mostly because as I was walking down the stairs on Wednesday something went PING in my calf and now I have a comedy limp. I'm ok, I can walk, it's just a little bit sore, mostly if I don't keep it active. The stairs are a little bit of an issue as my house is Victorian and the stairs are practically vertical so I'm only using them when I really do have too. I'm hoping by monday it'll be back to normal and I can finally give myself a dedicated workspace. I've been a SAHM for 8 years and I really want to go back to doing something. I think it will be really good for me.

I'm not even thinking about food at the moment, I'm eating what I'm eating and it's mostly good choices. That'll do for the moment.

Lots of love to you all. Hope you are all doing well.

@NoDishiForRishi great news on the counselling, that’s really positive. Not so good on the leg though and hope it resolves quickly. I haven’t worked for 8 years and before that was self employed. I’d like to find work but at 55 and having been out of a formal workplace for 24 years it will be difficult. I’m having support to get a CV together which will help and a few people have offered references which is really kind so at least I have something to put down and with CV help hopefully can cobble something together that does explain what I have been doing which is a fair bit, just not formal employment.

Also my arthritis is unpredictable which complicates things and really I could do with something remote, especially as my DS is very mentally unwell and needs a lot of support. He did 2 weeks at university 2 years ago and still is very unwell despite weekly counselling and involvement from a psychiatrist we paid for. DH has been struggling as has had to do pretty much everything for me too pre my hip replacement, we moved twice in the last couple of years and my Dad died nearly 3 years ago followed quickly by my Aunt which caused lots of family problems.

That is great that overall your food choices have been good. I am finding it much easier to make good choices most of the time . I will have something that isn’t great some of the time and that works for me. Working things on a weekly basis helps and I cope ok with a mixture of higher and lower calorie days which I feel gives the flexibility to cope with things that crop up. I’m always mindful of the fact at the end of this I will need to maintain and need practice at being able to cope when things don’t go to plan and I feel more confident that I will be able to. By the time I get to where I want to be I will have had a lot of practice as at this rate it is going to take another 2 years but that is ok!

@Seaitoverthere I work remotely, I do prefer it although actually would like the option of going into the office once or twice a week as for me it gets a bit lonely... but financially and practically it's probably the only option for me at the moment. I got my job via Indeed, it's always worth a look! I considered a volunteer role as well but thankfully something paid came up

Great news about the therapy @NoDishiForRishi, sending best wishes for that I was a SAHM for 5 years (not intentionally! Covid caused two of those) and do not miss it at all, apart from having a bit of extra time. Ironically in my last six months as a SAHM that was the only time I've been able to lose weight, as I had time to exercise/ cook properly and a bit of headspace...

Thank you @EvangelineFox

2lbs off which makes up for the week off, onwards and upwards. Probably not going to get to my first goal for Xmas but hopefully I'll be almost there

1.5lb off for me this week.
Didn't have the best of days yesterday as there were a couple of things I'd planned to eat which were massively more calories than I expected - whole part-baked Baguette 450 calories and half a pack of smoked mackeral 350 calories! I knew and expected them to be on the high side but was shocked at how high they were- and both on the same day too!
Onwards and upwards for the rest of thecweek fellow losers.

That’s great you got something @EvangelineFox . I have been checking Indeed and will continue to.

Well done @Minnie888 and @Katypp . Ouch on the smoked mackerel and baguette!

Ouch @Katypp , that's a lot of calories for essentially a sandwich although I was reading a Christmas sandwich comparison and I think they were all over 500 calories too! Well done to you and @Minnie888

@Seaitoverthere smaller local companies sometimes post their jobs on Facebook too (a local care home does it near me, for care work and admin too) if you use that at all? The government Find a Job website is good too - it replaces the cards on the boards in the Job Centre, for those of us old enough to remember those

I've had a productive morning with lots of laundry & cleaning done, energy flagging now I'm getting to the admin side!

@EvangelineFox , that is very helpful, thank you very much. I am definitely old enough to remember the job centre cards!

Is there room for a small one another? 🫣

I am an extreme yo-yo-er having got up to 27st, down to 13st and now back up to 26st something. I have a very all or nothing mindset with a liberal dose of "fuck it".

It was easy to lose it before. Now I'm 10 years older, work stupid hours, child with additional needs, exhausted and with zero willpower!

Welcome @PigInADuvet! Your willpower is perhaps on holiday with mine, which has also left the building for now...

Glad it's not just me who can remember those cards @Seaitoverthere the first time I was properly job hunting (25+ years ago!) the job centre and local paper were the only two places to look really. How things have changed!

They really have @EvangelineFox !

Welcome @PigInADuvet, love the user name. I can relate to all or nothing. That is something I have been working on and my brain is finally computing that small changes add up over time, that is is ok to have a bad day, week or even month and that is fine, you just keep going. And I now build in periods of time where I am actively looking to maintain to give myself a break which I view as practice for maintenance.

I had major surgery this summer and didn’t want to be in deficit whilst healing so maintained then. Unfortunately I had to stop a medication for a bit and when I start or restart it I gain weight. When I have been actively losing being in calorie deficit means only going up a pound or so then stalling for ages. Unfortunately eating at maintenance meant a 7lb gain this time but after about 6 weeks I start losing again and have managed to lose 6lbs of it now. It is quite demoralising losing what you have just lost but the alternative is giving up and I refuse to do that as I am a stubborn bugger,

Someone said once that being obese is hard and losing weight is hard so pick your hard which resonated with me.

Thanks @EvangelineFox & @Seaitoverthere 😊

For me personally, it's 100x more frustrating because I've done it before, I should be able to do it again! I've weighed this morning, I've wiped my nutracheck history and started afresh rather than having months and months of gaining and losing the same stone.

@Seaitoverthere I like your idea of having a controlled break rather than a full on swan dive into food-oblivion which is my normal tactic. I would like to just plod along losing small amounts until Christmas really, then properly double down efforts in the new year.

I also strongly believe I have undiagnosed ADHD and eating is definitely searching for a dopamine hit. Need to find a way of replacing that.

As for today, I'm working away from home today (usually WFH) as I'm on a training course. Breakfast is eaten, lunch is prepped and husband hass been left with instructions for dinner so it should be a positive day.

@PigInADuvet that’s really organised for today! I use Nutracheck and find it helpful. It is frustrating losing it all over again. My DD has ADHD too. What about exercise instead`? Bear with me on this 😀 Lesley Sansone has walk from home videos and there is one for 5 mins. I used to do it whilst the kettle was boiling so I felt I was multitasking and was stood up any way.

I work on a weekly principle using my Fitbit and Nutracheck. I am a sad person and have a spreadsheet and record daily each morning the difference between my Fitbit and Nutracheck to record the deficit if there is one or on days where things didn’t go to plan the excess. At the end of the week I do a tally of what is hopefully a deficit. I find that when medication isn’t messing things up I do actually lose what you would ‘expect’ using 3.5k calories is a pound loss. This Fitbit is new so untested long term but I found that previous ones worked with that formula and appeared to underestimate by approx 10%. It isn’t linear but averages out over time.

That way it gives maximum flexibility over the day and I do sometimes build in higher calorie days where I go over and make up on another day deliberately as in my head I am keeping my body on its toes not knowing what to expect in the vague hope it won’t get complacent and just adapt to compensate for lower calorie intake. Probably bollocks though there is some evidence to say it isn’t but psychologically it helps me. There is also evidence to say that eating at maintenance for a period of time after a period of loss helps regulate grehlin and leptin.

My plan is also to knock a bit off before Christmas, take a break then resume next year for a bit, probably around Easter then take another break. That combined with the flexibility over a week to go higher if needs makes me feel like I am eating fairly normally and doing what I think naturally thin people do ie. If they eat more one day to reduce on another to compensate. Apologies for the essay, hope there is something helpful in there somewhere.

@Seaitoverthere it feels like you've got a really healthy mindset going on, I need to invest in some of that 🙃

Yesterday ended up being a good day. Training in the morning was good, and I stayed in the office for the rest of my working day after lunch which was so busy there was no opportunity to nip to costa/starbucks/cafe Nero/greggs as I would normally on a Monday afternoon.
Husband had timed dinner to perfection so was literally serving up as I walked through the door. He then had some friends over in the evening doing whatever game it is they play so I took myself off to bed at 8:30 with a book which meant I didn't obliterate the calorie deficit I'd ended the day with.

Very different day today. Working from home 9-3 (immediate danger zone, temptation everywhere!) but I've done the morning dog walk and will do the afternoon one after school pick up. Got a grocery delivery this morning so will do some meal planning for the rest of the week.

You mentioning your fitbit makes me think I should unearth my garmin watch - it's very judgmental and tells me if I'm not moving around enough!

@PigInADuvet I find my Fitbit really useful too, it's only a cheap and basic one but does keep me moving! I guess if you have a dog though, you're used to a good walk or two every day anyway?

When I was speaking to the ADHD specialist about DTS1 and his executive function it really rang bells with me - DTS1 hasn't been diagnosed yet but the general idea was that anything we can put in to make his life easier would be helpful anyway, even if he turns out not to have it - meal planning and budgeting are skills that have always escaped me the specialist even explained that if you avoid doing something that you find hard (such as meal planning) then every time you don't do it (I scrape together a meal from the freezer, etc) you get a tiny dopamine hit anyway, and hence are less likely to even try to do it. Ouch.

@Seaitoverthere that sounds like a really good method! I'm such an 'all or nothing' person that I would worry that my break would become essentially, er, three years so far