Anyone want a weight loss buddy to obsess with?

[GreatBritishBeakOff]

I need to lose a stone. I can’t be stout any more. I tend to do well with a bit of daily accountability so anyone up for a weight loss buddy to commiserate, support and obsess with?! Starting Monday obvs. 😬

I’m an emotional eater. I manage my feelings with food. A parent who bribed me with junk food to cope with a shitty divorce, and a clean plate club upbringing. Mindfulness helps me to get some distance from the stuffing down emotion with food. It would be great to discuss this. Either on here or another thread. I think it’s an important topic and very much neglected by diet culture. I find asking myself (when I’m in the zone) and I’m using food to manage emotions ‘what is it I really need?’. Because eating when full is meeting a need outside of the physical.

Welcome @Proudbitch !

Yeah I get the point he was making .. if I allow myself to have or do these things I won’t want to .. like restricting myself is the reason for doing ? But that’s the thing I’m restricting myself for a reason , because I’m aware of the bad choices / habits I’m making , if I wasn’t conscious of it i honestly think I would just continuing doing it and end up piling on weight and picking holes in my face! Think that’s why his suggestion was a little disappointing to me x

Good quote to remember “eating when full is outside of the physical” ❤️

Also it is comforting to know we are not alone in this , sometimes it can feel like we are the only one having these struggles! I often find myself watching people’s weight loss journeys and think how strong they are for losing so much , after everything they have been through.. there’s always a reason behind it isn’t there! You have been through a lot too , I always talk about learnt behaviour with my kids and think this was when we were kids and the behaviour was learnt so it’s no wonder we struggle!

my mum passed away when I was young and a family member took me in (unwillingly) but I remember having to ask for any bit of food I wanted and when I was outside of 3 meals a day it was a no. I also was fed differently to everyone in the house , so if they were having steak for example I would be having sausage rolls- I think that’s where when I had my own choices I chose to have the “nicer things” and I do find also when I’m low on energy high on stress I reach for sugar , been trying to substitute this with protein bars when I can
x

We got through another day yey!

Breakfast/brunch: Salmon, eggs, asparagus and ryvita crisp bread - 280
Dinner: Prawn cocktail and cheese Jacket potato with salad - 657
Snacks: baby plum toms, plum and grapes -163

Fluids: 1950ml water, 7 (far too many) green teas and 1 sleep tea.
Grand total of 1100 so a bit under today but wasn't feeling well and didn't perk up until early evening.

Exercise: T25 beta rip't circuit

I'm no expert but if 1680 is for maintenance and that's what your eating then you're not going to lose weight. It seems mine has worked out as 500 less for a lb a week loss. Perhaps try it for a week and see how you go?

Salad 500
Cereal bar 150
Cauliflower steak, sausage, veg 400 (so much food so few calories!)
Tea 50
Skittles (I don’t k lw why I keep eating these! I e turned into a ten year old!) 100
Chocolate 300

Worked out my tdee and it’s around 1850! I’m shocked it’s so high! Thanks for the pointer to work that out 💪

Bloody hell. That’s awful. 😢 It reminds me of foster parents I knew who would feed their kids the branded stuff and the foster kids the value/basic shit. Awful. No bloody wonder you’re taking back power. Thanks for sharing.

@Aileen1992 And you’re definitely definitely not alone ❤️

Thank you , it’s nice to be able to share on here without feeling ashamed of my past ❤️

What did you find out in your reading about disordered eating?

You have nothing to be ashamed about. It's the people who pretended to take care of you. I am sorry you had to go through such difficult childhood❤

I also pick my skin when stressed.

Another successful day under my goal.

Weighed in at 56.7kg this morning so I've pretty much maintained since I last weighed myself a month ago. Surprised I haven't gained tbh because I've had some terrible days!

Ideally I have 6-8kg to still lose but if I can get down to 52kg and be less flabby I'll take that.

No exercise today but I've done 20,000 steps with work, the school run, walk to the shop and pottering. Weekdays are always good for steps, weekends awful but I exercise both days, I just don't walk far especially on a gym and no running day.

I've heard the phrase but not really paid much attention to it.

Most the time I'm on a level and don't have a problem relationship with food, apart from eating more then I'm working off of course, the problems arise when I find my portion sizes getting bigger and bigger over time, the bigger the portions the more I feel hungry in between.. the worse choices I make around what I do eat, it is a real viscous cycle that seems to creep up on my without me realising, but the issues that then arise from it are usually:

Fasting
Binging
Purging
Eating late at night
Eating when I'm not actually hungry
Eating in secret
Eating the wrong foods.
feelings of guilt and shame for all the above.

I kind of think that there's something in disordered eating that makes you sabotage any attempts to have a healthy relationship with food, in my case it's when you 'fall off the wagon' so to speak, I immediately think fuck it I may as well have what I want now seeing as I've ruined it, but I never feel better for it, after I've binged I feel so much worse, and I know that I will before I even start!, but I still have this all encompassing urge to do it, I don't even enjoy it when I'm doing it, it's just like a cycle I can't stop.

My best line of defence is to cut portion size right down to stop myself feeling hungry, it seems to be the only way I can control the disordered eating urges.

@Aileen1992

I'm so sorry you went through that as a child, that is truly awful on many different levels, and it is no wonder you've ended up with an unconventional relationship with food.

Yes please. Although currently on holiday. Need to lose a stone - stone and a half.

Oh and I’m menopausal and range between 11.5 and 12 stone. I’d love to get down to 10.

I live with someone who had borderline disordered eating (varies between being fine and really finding it difficult) and that’s partly why I would like to discuss it on here & keep it away from home. Am happy for people to share their struggles and histories - helps me to better understand issues around eating. Have realised I have some of my own & getting curious as to why I find it so hard to lose weight.

My main aim is health so I have started to exercise more as well.

@Aileen1992 thank you for bravely talking about this, I bet it had a huge impact on your self esteem. I'm angry on your behalf.

I grew up with a mum who resented feeding us, everything from having to go shopping, spending money, having to cook... it made her furious (she was a nightmare in many other ways too). I started trying not to eat at age 10 so I didn't cause a poblem for her - I felt that not needing food was "good" and needing food was "bad/selfish", so hunger was a big problem. Think this is why I eat immediately when I feel hunger now, as it's so uncomfortable I want to make it go away. I'm amazed I didn't end up with a real eating disorder.

It makes dieting very difficult for me - I know it's not easy for anyone but I have this real issue with not tolerating hunger. Maybe some kind of therapy would help. Just writing it here feels like a relief.

Thank you! Honestly think it’s had more an impact on my life now subconsciously, it’s like looking back on It I wonder how anyone could act the way she did towards a child, now I’m older and have my own children especially.

you have obviously been through a lot too , that is awful that your mum made you feel like you couldn’t ask for food! And feeling guilty for needing food , that’s so unfair! And that will 💯 impact the way you don’t want to feel that type of hunger again!

I suppose we need to find a happy medium where what we eat is filling and enjoyable, I’ve been allowing myself a small treat max 100 calories ever day because I don’t want to completely deprive myself or I will binge.
I used to do slimming world and you never felt hungry on it , have you tried it before? X

Weighed in today, 1st week of slimming world and lost 5.5lbs.

Just need to keep going. My downfall in the past has been to see a drop in the lbs and 'treat' myself then unravel all the hard work.

Brilliant, well done!

I did slimming world last year, it doesn't really suit me, but the thought of having to go and be weighed every week definitely helped me stick to things!

Could you pre-decide the 'treat' and make a slimming world version (+ small bit of extra for doing so well) if it's available so as not to unravel too much?

Some heartbreaking stories on here. I guess we don’t start out in life with an unhealthy relationship with food. That comes from the environment. We need ways to cope with stress and emotion outside of food. Any ideas? Please don’t say yoga. 😂

amazing @USaYwHatNow ! 5.5lbs in the first week! That’s nearly half a stone!

Ive done well this week with fasting and not eating breakfast. Yay me. Not so well with evening chocolate binge. That’s going to be my target next week. I need an evening treat without the hefty calorie load.

Salad 500
Cereal bar 159
Choc 500
Curry and cauliflower rice 350
Tea 50
Skittles 50

1600

@USaYwHatNow I hear you. Weigh in day is such a trigger for me to binge. Especially if I’ve had a good week. Gah!