I'm starting saxenda this week.

[Saxendastarter]

I'm 33.

I'm 1m68 (5ft6)

I don't actually know what I weight and I got rid of my scales last year when getting on them just made me cry every time and I was just too depressed to even try and start loosing weight - I have ordered scales and will weight myself tomorrow.

However last time I weighed myself nearly a year ago I was 94kg (14st 11) and I know that I have gained since then.

I started gaining weight the beginning of covid, before 2019 my very highest weight had been 68kg ( 10st10) and my normal weight had been round 62kg for most of my adult life, so I have massively put on weight over these last four years. (Separation, depression, stress at work, and just general giving up).

My body is ruined by stretch-marks and my boobs that used to be great are now just swollen and saggy and stretch marked.

I'm really depressed by my weight and have decided its time to do something about it.

I have an office job and I'm not at all active.

I've tried to start making small changes, walking to the underground instead of getting the bus, getting the stairs up the one flight to my office instead of the lift but everything feels like a struggle and I have such awful thigh chaffing that walking is often excruciatingly painful.

I how I need to make a change because on top of it being so unhealthy being so over weight just makes me so upset. I've stopped going out as much and have just retreated into a shell.

I also have an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow.

I decided last month that enough is enough and I need to do something about it all.

I've started using face cream, and am finally having laser on my very very hairy thighs and - the point of this thread - I'm going to start saxenda tomorrow.

I thought I'd journal here.

What dose are you on now? You don't overeat looking at your daily diaries so I wouldn't worry too much about a midnight snack. If your body needs food, it needs food.

I've woken up feeling absolutely amazing. I can honestly say I have never felt this way. I work up at 8am, and got up straight away. I normally get up at 7 on work days and it can be between 9/10 on days off. Every single day when I wake I feel groggy, tired, headachy, hungry. I never feel good in the morning and struggle to get out of bed. My OH knows this as I had the conversation with him recently and he said he never felt like that. He just gets up with his first alarm in the morning, and feels fine. I snooze a gazillion times and feel shit. He just said "what are you doing down here" when I came downstairs and I said, I don't honestly know, I've just woken up and feel amazing. 🤷‍♀️

I'm also on Isotretinoin/Roaccutane for my persistent acne. Only started a month ago and already my skin is clear and redness and scarring is reducing. And I've none of the awful side effects (dry, peeling skin, dry eyes, dry lips, depression). It has had the benefit of drying my hair up too so it is no longer greasy 🙌.

I'm just finally feeling that I'm looking after me, and it feels great.

@ThisMustBeMyDream

im in week three weeks and on 1.2 as I’m going up slowly, my main issue isn’t food but how much I drink during the week. It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with stress at work and life in general ..

but the saxenda is amazing isn’t it ? The not needing to constant pick or rush eating food - even when I’m hungry I still have the head space to think about what I’m going to eat rather than diving head first into the fridge and just binging on whatever is closest … I’ve also decided to take care of myself and be nice to me, these last few years since I separated I’ve just given 150% to work and forgotten myself - my social cercle is mainly collègues now and we just work late and then go and drink to forget, a bit of a sign is that my closest 3 collègues all separated roughly around the same time - 3 years ago and we’re all still single and a lot more unhealthy than we were pre covid. It did a number on all of us. But enough self pity - I’m about to head out to saint Germain en laye - a little town an hour out of Paris with a forest for lunch and a walk with friends for the first time since covid ! Time to be good to myself!

Ah, I suppose in some ways I have it lucky as I don't drink at all, never have. Food is my addition/vice instead 🙄.

I've decided no one else but me can take care of myself. So that's what I'm doing. I've also told my partner and my mum that they need to not sabotage this for me. Both have agreed not to buy me food items as gifts, or offer food, suggest takeaways etc. I'm tempted to tell colleagues too. There's 12 of us on our team, with around 5-7 working each day. The nature of my job means there are cakes, chocolates and other food gifts given on a regular basis. I'm tempted to ask them to just ignore me when things get passed around. If I'm not offered, I don't have to think about saying no.

So this appetite suppression thing actually does work, doesn't it? It feels like I've had a gastric sleeve with the quantity I feel able to eat!
So far today I have managed a banana for breakfast and half a packet of batchelors pasta. I made the whole pack, would normally eat that plus something after like fruit or veg as part of my SW diet. Couldn't even manage the whole pasta. Unheard of. I've got baked potato and salad for dinner, and having just had my 2nd injection am interested to see how much I can manage of it.

It's like freedom. I feel free of food. Free of worrying about when my next meal will be, or what if I stuff myself. Please let this work 🙏🙏🙏🙏.

Hope the walk and lunch with friends was enjoyable!

Day 18

Breakfast:
2 milky coffees
Fizzy water

Lunch:
Steak tartare aller retour, salad, 6ish chips before I didn't want anymore
Water
Half of a bottle of rosé ...

Snack:
Coffee
Hand-full of raspberries

Supper:
Apérol Spritz
Half a pint of white beer
Water
Square of black chocolate

Lovely day - all but one friend bailed ( many purposefully?) so I was left with my favorite person of the moment. Had a lovely lunch at a bistrot and shared a bottle of wine, told him I was taking Saxenda, when he suggested sharing a pudding multiple times, he was very supportive but also suggested blood tests (he's a doctor) so I guess I'll go and do them. Walked across the parterre and through the forest . Step counter saying 22160 steps for today so around 14km/8.6 miles for my height.

Red circle is the Eiffel Tower!

Morning everyone . I’ve had a lovely read of all your posts . I may be able to pick up my script today . No needles on Saturday so had to wait.

I may start tomorrow. I have a couple of worries. Side effects mostly as I just don’t cope well with minor ailments such as headaches . I almost never get anything wrong with me , when I do , I’m a complete baby. 😀

Second worry, my DH family ( therefore they are mine too ) are facing a huge traumatic incident . I could do with being able to talk about it from my point of view but at the moment , I’m not the important one , it’s everyone else who needs support . Would it be a stupid idea to start when something really quite traumatic is affecting everyone around me ? Selfishly , I just feel ready now . I need to be “with it” for my DH and everyone else . Im not telling folk about this . My DH knows and he’s supportive mind you.

@Footgoose Sorry to hear about your husbands family/your family. I've been sharing a lot of my life here, so if you think it would help to share, feel free.

Concerning starting Saxenda, apart from headaches I was fine the first few days. If you want to start maybe stock up on paracetamol/ibuprofen/antiemetics/ PPIs first just in case? Maybe if you do start you can fame it for yourself as using the Saxenda to not be so focused on food so you can focus on husband and family? I honestly don't know what I would do.

Be kind to yourself.

@Saxendastarter . Thank you .

@Footgoose - maybe starting Saxenda will be a good focus for you that gives you breathing room are going through the trauma?

Feel free to talk here.

Today's weigh - 97 kg. .6 kg down since last week. Not amazing, but not bad.

So Staying on 1.2 I am definitely having more thoughts and hankerings for food. Not as much as normal, so will try to use it as a way of dealing with the food noise while it's at a lower level. Juniper sent me a full complement of pens though, and my account is showing that they're going to send another batch in a month so really not sure what the story is there.... I thought they were going to miss a month because of the shortages. Will see.

Got my treadmill set up so will start doing some walking and hopefully progress to jogging. My friend just ran a half marathon and has inspired me!

Thanks guys . I will start today if my script is ready . DH is with me . He’s fit . In shape. He knows how miserable i feel at this weight .
His younger brother went missing at sea a month ago . His body was recovered yesterday . The family is shattered and I’m thinking about doing this for myself . Feels a bit selfish .

Oh @Footgoose - I'm so sorry. What a horrible and difficult thing to go through.

But I still think having something separate to focus on can help. A little pocket of sanity while the world goes to hell in a hand basket. Besides, not being food driven at a time like this would probably help. ❤️

@Footgoose I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you all find closure now that your brother in law has been bought home. Loss and grief take time but things do get better, even if that must be very hard to see right now.

For what it's worth I don't think you're being selfish at all to start now, your husband and your family need you strong and forward looking right now and probably for some time to come. If taking Saxenda helps you loose a little weight and that loosing that weight makes you feel better about yourself you'll be better equipped to provide the strength they need from you right now. I know it is not much given the situation you are faced with right now, but whenever you decide to start your "feeling better in my body" journey, I'm sure all the lovely people on this thread will be here to support you and listen and hear you out.

Take care and show yourself as much kindness as you show others.

@OrderOfTheKookaburra I'm not at my weighing day yet, it's Friday, but I weighed this morning and haven't lost a single gram since last Friday so I don't think I'll have even have lost .6kg.

.6kg is still over a pound and much better than gaining. Well done for setting the treadmill up.

But I won’t post about that here. I’ll stay on topic . If I feel I need to , I’ll post on the bereavement board .

@Footgoose would you prefer we not mention it here ? That way this thread can be your "me thread"?

Hi @Saxendastarter . No it’s fine to mention it . I just want the thread to stay on topic and not for me to cause a distraction. . I have enjoyed the small peaks into everyone lives . It reminds me we are all humans on here . Everyone has something going on , it’s often the reason we end up unhappy with ourselves .

I just saw the previous kind messages . Thank you both.
Off to get my script !

Ah, I'm struggling today.

I have another dinner party tomorrow that I'm hosting, it's midweek and with people who don't drink so it shouldn't be too much of a blow out, but because I'll have to cook a starter/main/pudding I know that I'll probably eat more than I should - and I'll probably still have a few glasses of wine.

Because of that I'm trying to be very sensible today but I had lunch two hours ago and I'm hungry already and because I'm working from home the temptation to go and fridge raid is horrible, it's the first time it's happened since starting Saxenda. Even trying to concentrate on really boring end of year accounts isn't helping.

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick check-in after the long weekend.

Footgoose Sending you much love, it is so important to look after yourself. You should never feel bad about that. I had a few side effects mostly nausea, but at the beginning a headache, which paracetamol helped.* *

Saxendastarter Sounds like you had a lovely day, you are so right about it giving you head space from food- I am finding the same. Sorry you are struggling today, could you do say 20 mins? And then reward yourself with an ice-cold drink. I like to crunch on the remaining ice cubes.

OrderOfTheKookaburra 0.6 down is still a loss- it should all be celebrated.* *I’m staying on 1.2 as well, at least until the nausea has gone.

ThisMustBeMyDream The sabotage is real- I feel my Mum has me pigeon-holed* *into a role- and it makes her uneasy if I try to step out of it. She was forcing food on me & I got snappy in the end with her on Saturday- which wasn’t kind.

I’ve stuck to calorie counting and stayed on a 1.2ml dose all weekend and I’m feeling okay. I still have a little nausea and indigestion, but nothing unmanageable.

I’m trying to focus on what will be positive outcomes from weight loss. Target 1 is fitting comfortably back in a nice camel coat that is currently too tight around the tops of my arms.

Are any of you getting bruising around the injection sites? I am being very gentle and have watched the tutorials, but I have a smattering of yellowing bruises.

Best wishes to you all.

Hi all, I hope everyone is doing well.

Day 19

Breakfast:
2 milky coffees
Fizzy water

Lunch:
Mystery unlabeled freezer soup (pink lentil and coriander perhaps - not sure - I moved six months ago so it can’t be older than that so not too worried)
Fizzy Water
Hand-full of raspberries
Black coffee

Snack:
Black Coffee
Fizzy water

Supper:
3 chicken Nems
3 korean fried Ravioli
1 large white wine kir
Water

Frenemy, lets call her Karen, who I hadn't seen since before covid ( and before weight gain and separation) had an appointment in my street and popped round virtually unannounced with Chinese takeaway this evening at 6.45 so I wrapped up work early.

She's the type of person to loudly point out you have a random black chin hair in front of a group and offer you tweezers from her bag or to quote a few superficially nasty things she said over the years

• "have you stopped going to pilates then, you do look a bit flabby, or maybe it's just your posture" ( My BMI must have been around 20 at that point)
• "oh I wish I had the courage to not care and wear shorts like yours with cellulite and hairy thighs" (Again, this was at a point when I was wearing a size 8)

My (very very tall ) ex used to have a ( our thing, inside joke, consensual) habit of fake protest picking me up and carrying me out of parties in a fireman's carry at the end of an evening when it was time to leave. Her first comment tonight was to make a stupid joke about of course we'd split up because I was too heavy for him to pick up now ...

She's quite a nasty piece of work all round actually but we haven't totally shut her out for various friendship reasons. And so there was no way in hell I was going to tell her, or let her assume, I'm on a diet - and so I ate some of the greasy takeaway in front of her.

Texted 2 actual friends once she had left because I was close to tears and said I'd had a visit from Karen and we ending up doing a really nice hour of calm Shivananda yoga together over zoom ( a first for me) and then debriefing all of the bitchy shit Karen has pulled over the years over a glass of Kir. And then we managed to get two more friends to join the zoom and all decided that after 13 years, it's finally time to ditch her 100%. So all in all, worth eating 3 nems and 3 raviolis for. At least in one thing I feel lighter about!

@Glorfindels On bruising - yes I have a great collection of little bruises on my thighs from green blue to yellow as they age- doesn't really bother me though.

Oh @Footgoose how awful for you and your family, just thinking about it makes me well up and I don't know you! Sending you big love ❤️ like the others have said, only you know if this is the right time for you but it may help you have something to focus on a bit and if it turns out not to be the right time for you then so be it. You can but try.

@Glorfindels I haven't had any bruising but I'm finding some injections I can't even feel and others are really stingy. I've got two types of needles and do find one type to be nicer than the other but I've been using one brand solidly for over a week and found a big variation in the feel? Very odd. I can't seem to bring myself to inject in my thigh (I don't understand why!?) And when I did my upper arm it coincided with worse nausea so I've been sticking to my tummy but alternating sides.

@Saxendastarter eugh Karen sounds toxic, she's definitely got to go! An hour of yoga after sounds lovely and calming though!

I'm still on dose 0.6 and on day 14 today, I felt hungry this morning though and I've been finding the snacking desire is coming back a bit so I'm wondering about increasing my dose soon, I'm just really worried about the side effects. I think I'll keep on this dose until at least the weekend and see how it is, if I'm getting breakthrough hunger regularly then I'll increase.
Weigh day number 2 for me tomorrow, I'll let you know how I do 🤞

@Saxendastarter - good news that you're finally ditching Karen, she sounds like a really nasty piece of work.

@Glorfindels - I'm finding that if there is the least little bit of muscle at the injection site then it hurts more. It's also not the actual injection, but the Saxenda because I barely felt it at times at .6, started to feel it at 1.2 and then when I was on 1.8 it actually stung occasionally. Now back in 1.2 I'm back to feeling it. So my guess is as I lose the weight and I start exercising more I might start to feel it even more...😢

@ThisMustBeMyDream - yeah, I guess it is a bit like a gastric sleeve feeling, so odd, isn't my it?!

So last night I pulled out Paul McKenna's "I can make you thin" and listened to the night time hypnotic spiel before going to sleep. I'm also going to try to listen to some of the other sessions, stop self sabotage and craving buster, because I've slipped back into nibbling on chocolate... my delightful DSs have decided which chocolate they don't like like from Easter and the sodding stuff is just sitting there. (Is there an easy way to get the candy off mini eggs? I could then crush it up and use it up in chocolate muffins for them... they wont eat them if the candy is left on). Why don't I have their willpower?????

Avoiding milk yesterday I had some toast for breakfast and a salad for dinner, and some pasta similar to ravioli (pilmeni - a Russian food). Avoiding the milk I felt way less bloated.

I'm signing up for a work challenge where we form teams and for 3 weeks we compete in how many steps we can do in a day, capped at 15k. So the goal will be to try to do 15,000 steps a day, and there's a few prizes going. Just the kick in the butt to get moving that I need. So I'm going to get on the treadmill today to get a few "pre competition" walking days in to move past the soreness before it begins on Monday.

15k... omg I've just realised how much that is. I did STEPtember once doing 10K every day for a month and I managed it, although it was tough. OMG OMG OMG OMG this is a half that again.... 😱😱😱😱😱

If I don't lose a decent amount of weight by the end of those 3 weeks I will be incredibly pissed off...,lol.

And in that note, I need to get out of bed now and face the day. And find where I've put my Fitbit.....

@OrderOfTheKookaburra just about to drop off ... I thought STEPtember was quite niche? We do it too at work, but you can log vacuum cleaning and washing up in it to count towards steps - thats how I managed!

@Saxendastarter - if my Fitbit counts it, I count it....lol!!!

Vigorous cleaning, dancing while cooking, marching on that spot at my computer... you name it. Pushing the trolley with one hand so that my Fitbit hand swings with my steps..... 🤣

Getting from a walk to a jog will make the biggest difference though. Way more steps per min/hour when you jog/run.