I'm starting saxenda this week.

[Saxendastarter]

I'm 33.

I'm 1m68 (5ft6)

I don't actually know what I weight and I got rid of my scales last year when getting on them just made me cry every time and I was just too depressed to even try and start loosing weight - I have ordered scales and will weight myself tomorrow.

However last time I weighed myself nearly a year ago I was 94kg (14st 11) and I know that I have gained since then.

I started gaining weight the beginning of covid, before 2019 my very highest weight had been 68kg ( 10st10) and my normal weight had been round 62kg for most of my adult life, so I have massively put on weight over these last four years. (Separation, depression, stress at work, and just general giving up).

My body is ruined by stretch-marks and my boobs that used to be great are now just swollen and saggy and stretch marked.

I'm really depressed by my weight and have decided its time to do something about it.

I have an office job and I'm not at all active.

I've tried to start making small changes, walking to the underground instead of getting the bus, getting the stairs up the one flight to my office instead of the lift but everything feels like a struggle and I have such awful thigh chaffing that walking is often excruciatingly painful.

I how I need to make a change because on top of it being so unhealthy being so over weight just makes me so upset. I've stopped going out as much and have just retreated into a shell.

I also have an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow.

I decided last month that enough is enough and I need to do something about it all.

I've started using face cream, and am finally having laser on my very very hairy thighs and - the point of this thread - I'm going to start saxenda tomorrow.

I thought I'd journal here.

@BinnityBoo I understand why you feel discouraged - but it's "just" a week, in the rand scale of things, its nothing, 7 meaningless days - keep on at it and I'm sure next week will be better. Take care. Right I have to get ready for the pool!

@BinnityBoo I'm feeling the same because I've not lost anything since my official weigh day on Wednesday... which is totally ridiculous I know. I'm also on my period which I know won't be helping. Just had some chocolate buttons, my first non healthy thing since starting and I'm glad I did 🤣 we only had a few so I can't binge on them but I'm also feeling my pms chocolate craving is sated with tiny amount compared to pre saxenda.
I hope you start losing again soon, it's so disheartening x

Finally 5 minutes to do an update:

Starting weight 15st1 / 95.7kg
current weight 14.11/93.9
total lost 4lb/ 1.9 kg
Day 8
Dose 1.6
KM swam this week : 2.125k ish
Interim target 13st/83 kg July 25
Overall target: 12st / 76kg

I failed at swimming, I freaked out in the changing room because everyone was skinny and fit, I just couldn't do it, I couldn't get undressed there, couldn't face being in a swimming costume. I'm so ashamed of my body. I've found a friend to come with me tomorrow morning and will try again.

Day 16

Breakfast:
Herbal tea
Sugar free squash

Lunch:
Fromage blanc and jam

Snack:
Sugar Free Squash
A lot of water with bitters (I was really nauseous)

Supper:
2 Pita with salad and duck and tahini
Fromage blanc and jam
Herbal tea
Water

I'm just coming in to say can I join? I have been approved today by Boots, so hoping to collect tomorrow 🤞. It says it should be ready to collect within 24 hours anyway. Not sure if the weekend/bank holiday affects it.
My starting stats are 16st 13, BMI 42.5. My highest ever weight. I have spent 20 years - my entire adult life losing and gaining the same stones, so each time I've lost the weight, it has come back on with an extra stone each time. I'm utterly sick of it, and I can't seem to maintain the changes I know I need to make.
It doesn't help that I'm a picky eater. Don't like meat or fish. Don't like much other than carbs and veg (and obviously all the food that isn't good, highly processed stuff). I find it a real challenge day to day, particualry with having to feed a family too. I try to follow slimming world as I find this the most realistic diet for me. But the weight loss is always very slow and I become demotivated. I over eat, I'm not even hungry half the time, I just panic and feel I have to eat. My portion size is way too big.
I'm currently under SWMs and have been for 8 months. I've put 1st 4 on in that time! Helpfully... so it isn't working. I had my bloods checked this week, and my cholesterol is now high after being borderline 8 months ago. My HBA1C has gone to 39 from 41 though so I'm happy with that.
I am going to ask if I'll be eligible on the NHS for Saxenda, but I don't know who to ask. I have a dietician telephone app at the end of May, followed by a general review by the swms service the day after so I will ask both of those.
I'm not sure if I meet the criteria though as I think I would have to be pre diabetic as well as the high cholesterol. Wonder if anyone knows the answer to this?
Anyway, goal 1 for me is to lose 1st to get under the next stone by 13th June. Not sure that is realistic given I've always lost 0.5-1lb a week at best. But perhaps Saxenda will help me listen to my full signals and I will eat less. The reason I have picked 13th June is because I've booked a last minute holiday, was very spontaneous and unlike me. I am going with my 3 children alone, so I'd like to feel less cumbersome and less like I won't fit in the airplane seats.

Another question I have - does anyone else feel that they don't look as big as the scales say? I'm 5ft 2 and wearing size 16-18. Yet I'm almost 17 stone. I just don't feel I look what I thought I would do at 17 stone. When I was 11st 2 I was wearing size 12s and felt fabulous. I don't think I could ever get below 10 st and be a bmi of under 25. It feels impossible. Is this just me?

I tried Saxenda and it worked too well, I never felt like eating and when I realised days had past without me eating, I ate something and my body totally rejected any food and I was violently sick for about a week. I came off it then and have been too scared to restart it

@ThisMustBeMyDream
i could have written parts of your post . I’ve gained and lost weight all my life . Always putting on a bit more than I lost . I’m starting Saxenda this week when my script arrives .
im hoping this thread gives me a bit of support . Support I can feed back too I hope .

I'm looking forward to reading everyone’s updates.

@ThisMustBeMyDream

I know what you mean about not feeling as big as your weight may suggest . It’s in photographs that I really noticed it . I look so different at this current size .

@ThisMustBeMyDream Welcome! Do you like pulses ? Falafels, lentil salad, tofu or eggs ? Having a holiday planned is a good goal.
@TiptoeThroughTheToadstools Did you see a hcp about what happened? That might be a good idea before starting again.
@Footgoose Welcome! let us know when it arrives.

I'm on day 2, I lost 3 SW about 5 years again it it's crept back on and menopause means that I find it hard to shift plus I get these awful cravings. I'm sick of buying more clothes and feeling just yuk. I did it though boots online doctor and paid £250 for 5 pens so we will see I have no idea how long that will last
I haven't been brave enough to weigh myself but will do, I want to get back into 12/14 as opposed to to 16/18 possibly 3 stone loss?

@Saxendastarter yes, I do like some pulses, for example I make a lentil dahl which the other half will eat (begrudgingly). I also like tofu and eggs. However it makes eating as a family harder as they are all pretty fixed in their likes and as a result our menu when trying to lose weight is this:
Pasta bake (sw recipe)
Spag bol (quorn mince, other half will eat but doesn't really like)
Veggie chilli (quorn)
Baked potatoes with fillings and salad
Salt and pepper chicken and sw chips (SW recipe) kids won't eat this, so have it on the days they eat at childminders
Diet coke chicken (SW recipe)
Lentil dahl
Sausage (veggie for me) mash, veg and gravy
Roast dinner
Sw pizzas made on lo dough or ww wraps with sw chips
Spicy spaghetti (recipe from BBC good foods, low cal)
Sw chicken fajhitas

I just find it really hard as OH loves meat and obviously compromises a lot with these meals. The kids won't eat some of the meals, but they go to a childminder who makes dinner 3 days a week so that isn't so bad. I'll make the stuff they don't like then. We haven't got enough money or time to be making separate meals. I wish we did because I think that would be easier. I love things like roast veg, halloumi, stir fry, I'd eat a Mediterranean diet quite likely.

Do you know, the one time I lost the weight and kept it off was the 2 years I was single- 5 years ago. Met the other half and boom, all the weight has gone back on. I really think the key for me is not having to accommodate other people. Unfortunately that isn't really an option.

Yes, I do really hate photos. I think I look nice in the mirror. Then boom. Someone takes bloody photo and I look horrific!

Yeah, it's hard juggling food preferences. My DSs are fussy nightmares. Today I've made them a chicken curry with rice, and I've thrown a salmon fillet into the oven for myself, and I've got some salad in a bag which I'll have it with. As long as both meals aren't both time consuming to prepare I'm ok doing 2 separate ones. I think at least one do them has to be a "throw it in the oven with minimal prep" ones. I've done the other half of the chicken thighs (bulk pack) with some seasoning and popped it into the oven, we'll all have that tomorrow night re-heated with some veggies. I have some sweet potatoes for my mash and normal potatoes for theirs.

The good thing is that as salmon fillets aren't exactly cheap I'm not spending as much on expensive cuts for everyone when it's just for me..!!

Having to drop down to 1.2 Saxenda dose I went back to experiencing hunger for the first few days but it seems to have settled down now. I've also been trying to take one dose of Metamucil daily to stop the constipation.

I've always thought I was lactose intolerant as having lactose free milk helped me avoid feeling bloated, but it's not enough now. I suspect with food staying in the gut longer I just cannot have cow's milk at all. The shake meal replacements that I bought through Juniper (who supplies my Saxenda) left me feeling so bloated it was awful, taking lactese tablets with them helped, but it made it better not completely eliminated it.

I guess mild food intolerances worsen when you're eating less as they form a greater proportion of your diet as a whole when you eat so much less.

I could have written a lot of your post myself @ThisMustBeMyDream, you're not alone even though I know it feels it at times.
I also have the mirror vs photo thing but it's getting to the point that I barely have any photos of me and my kids which I know I'll regret as they get older. It doesn't help that my husband never takes any anyway but I won't ask him too anymore either.
I do cook a lot of separate meals, I regularly cook my kids a different meal each but one has a very restrictive diet due to additional needs and then my husband and I probably eat about 75% of the same meals and the other 25% I'll make myself a meal and he will get something from the freezer.
I try to meal prep on Sundays to make the week easier as our weekdays and Saturdays are hectic.

@ThisMustBeMyDream would they eat bean burgers? Do you mind eating the same thing multiple days in a run? If so could you meal prep for yourself in advance?
@Footgoose I also have the same thing re mirrors and photos, it's horrible. Seeing photos of myself makes me want to cry.
@hairychinsrus ( my chin is also vv hairy!) let us know how your journey goes!
@OrderOfTheKookaburra Could you try a vegetable milk (oat, soja, almond, coco, rice ?)
@Bloodylovecrisps I have no photos of myself from the last few years - maybe I'll regret it, but its just upsets me so much.

I didn't manage swimming today either, I got really panic filled even with friend at the idea of changing there so I thew the towel in ( well back into my bag) and we went for a walk instead.

@Saxendastarter yes, I do love beanburgers, and everyone else would eat them too. However I also love the bun and the cheese that go with 🙈. I'd be miserable just eating a burger without a bun.
A walk is fantastic. I haven't even managed that today. Just a quick trip to the shop. In the car.

@Bloodylovecrisps I don't know how you do it! On week days we have a 1 hour window to eat and cook. It's tough to manage. I feel like there simply isn't enough time in my life, and is probably one of my biggest sabotage moments.

Pens collected, and first injection administered. How quick should I expect to notice anything? It's my favourite dinner tonight, pasta bake. I am hoping that I'll be able to stop when I'm full! Never have before... so we shall see!

Todays food so far:
B: 2X 400g slices of wholemeal toast with a sliver of jam.
L: Soup, apple.
D: Pasta bake which is full of peppers and spinach and tomatoes.
Snacks planned - pom bear crisps (69 cals). I've also got a mango calling my name if it is ripe.

I weighed myself this morning also, 2.5lb lower than yesterday. I'll daily weigh for a little while as I find it helps my motiatvation a little more because I'm okay with ups and downs if I can see the trend is down over all. Once I feel this is working I'll probably monthly weigh as I just find weekly isn't always the best for me psychologically.

@ThisMustBeMyDream what about a low fat yogurt based sauce or some hummus (you can make it with very little oil) to go with the burger and serve with lavash bread and salad (grated carrot, cucumber with mint etc)

Thank you @Bloodylovecrisps s I hope so too! Oh, I'm an absolute chocolate fiend when I'm on my period I feel your pain 😂 it's quite amazing though how sax seems to flip a switch in your brain, I manage now to just eat a normal amount and be satisfied rather than eating a family size bar then going to the kitchen to eat Nutella out of the jar 😂

Oh @Saxendastarter good on you for even getting there ❤️ the starting is the hardest part. Getting a friend to go with you is a great idea.

I upped my dose to 1.0 a couple of days ago and I think I'll be dropping it back down tomorrow. Despite doing 40 lengths this morning and a long dog walk, I cannot get my heart rate down at all and it's making me feel panicky. I've had to lie down twice today and am currently doing so now because my heart rate has been between 90 - 110bpm ALL day, even resting. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

@ThisMustBeMyDream good luck on your journey and welcome to the thread! I noticed the difference pretty much straight away. Keep us updated 😊

I don't really like sauce. I only just about tolerate a couple of specific salad dressings. Definitely wouldn't eat yogurt or hummus with it 😔

I've just had my dinner, I didn't finish it all, but I don't usually. I'd say I ate 2/3rds which is a bit less than normal. I ate slower, and was more relaxed when eating rather than rushing it, which is my normal.

Day 17

Breakfast:
Herbal tea
2 pitta breads with butter

Lunch:
Fromage blanc and jam
Water

Snack:
Coke zero
A lot of water with bitters

Supper:
Big plate of ricotta gnocchi with lemon sage butter
Water
Coke zero

@Saxendastarter the gnocchi sounds good! What's your recipe? Please!

I've been going back through photos for motivation. It is helping me visiualise what I want to be and why.
First pic is me 5 years ago. I was 11st 2 at 5ft 2 still overweight, but I was happy with how I looked and would be more than happy to get back there.
2nd pic is me today at almost 17stone. 🥴

@ThisMustBeMyDream

The first photo of me is December 2020 ( sorry for the slight nudity) The following two are today. Under 3 years ...

For the gnocchi, it's not exactly diet friendly, but friend who came round ask me to make them.

• Boil and then peel and rice potatoes 4 medium potatoes ( I add garlic and sage and lemon zest to the boiling water)
• Add a tub of ricotta to the mashed potatoes and mix
• Add fine zest of two lemons and a tablespoon of parmesan/ Granda padano to the mix
• Add one egg and mix well
• Bring a big pan of salted water up to the boil
• Add two tablespoons of flour to the mixture and mix very gently
• flour a work surface and gently gently roll the dough quarter by quarter into logs, cut the logs into gnocchi ( I don't faff about with a fork)
• Drop the gnocchi into the boiling water and get them out with a slotted spoon when they raise to the surface
• In a large frying pan melt a big bit of butter and add the sage leaves, wait till the butter browns and the sage has fried
• Add the gnocchi to the frying pan making sure not to crowd them
• when they have browed add the juice of one lemon and serve

The gnocchi sounds amazing! I'll give it a try when I'm at a better weight headspace!
I long to be the size you currently are! I'd guess you are maybe size 14? I was relatively happy as a 14. Even happier as a 12. Not happy as an 18!

So interestingly, I've come to bed and not had my planned snacks. I'm not hungry, not full, but just got no overwhelming urge to have the snack. That's even with the OH sat next to me eating 3 kit kats this evening.
If this helps me with portion control and stops the urge to snack in the evening then I know this could be the thing that really helps me. Please let this be it 🤞🤞🤞.

@ThisMustBeMyDream right now I wear a French size 48. Well done for not snacking.

I actually got up round midnight and had a small bowl of couscous with butter and spices and an extra fromage frais as I was hungry. I think I may have to up my dose....