well, Isobel is at mums today. Mr C was here until wednesday morning. Fingers crossed he's back tonight, but, i'm not holding my breath on that.
Ok, so SLEEP....
Decide how long you are happy to let her cry for when you first leave her at bed time. OR, when she first waked in the night. We started with bed time, then of course she woke up, in the night and I used the same initial time frame....
EG. you are happy for her to cry for 3 minutes. ( TIME IT, precicely with a clock )
After 3 mins, go in, pick her up, cuddle her. sooth her. kiss her, what ever it takes to calm her to stop crying. As soon as she stops crying, put her back into her bed. Cover her up. say night night ( or what ever) and leave immediatly. She will stand up or roll over etc and shout and cry and scream ( Isobel behaved like she was being murdered.
Look at the exact time you leave the room. Shut the door. Sit down with cup of tea, magazine, tv what ever. Add 2 minutes to the initial time. i.e. left it 3 minutes. now leave it for 5 minutes.
After 5 minutes, go back in, and repeat. Leave when calm.
Return after 7 minutes, then 9 minutes and so on.
IMPORTANT HINTS AND TIPS....
Write down the time you hear her wake up. Look at digital clock, and precicely time it.
As soon as you leave, look at the clock and write down the time you left. precicely time again, adding your 2 mins.
Have something to occupy you, i.e. tv, or a book, and a hot drink. really be psyched up for it.
The first time I did it with isobel, it took half an hour. She woke at 02:30 and was back asleep at 03:00. She woke again at about half 5. I cocked it up, as I was too tired and fed her... BIG NO NO!!!
I started again the next night fresh. She only took 20 mins this time, with me returning 4 times. She never cried for longer than 7 minutes incidentally, as she always stopped by then and was either asleep or just stopped crying. she started again just towards the end of the time on one occasion.
The second night of doing it properly, she was asleep at bed time after 5 minutes, and NO return from me!!! She only woke once for about 15 minutes.
Third night, she went to bed and asleep after 5 mins again, then in the night woke once for about 10 ,mins and me going back only once.
GIve it a go. trust me, it really really works. I couldn't get on with controlled crying as it went against my instincts, of not being 'allowed' to comfort her when she was so upset, and screaming. ok, so she cried as soon as i put her back down the first few times, but at least i knew i would be cuddling er again in only a few minutes.
the key is apparently the strict timing. the really strict adding 2 minutes each time. its such a gentle way to do it. Get yourself ready for it and just go for it.
when Me C came home, he continued with it at bed time and actually last night aand the night before we didnt even have tears at bed time, for the fisrt time since she was about 4 months old. SO LOVELY!!!
ask away if you want to know anything else... it is by Dr Christopher Green from his book Toddler Taming. a good read btw...
Sorry went on SO long, but VERTY important info here...