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Original poster

Child suddenly asking me to cover up my fatness?

113 replies

Lou153Lou · 15/05/2022 19:21

My BMI is currently 29 and I am losing weight. My children are all skinny.

I’ve always been naked around the house before I get dressed in the morning and before bed or whatever. I still bath with my children.

Tonight my 8 year old daughter (eldest) was in the bath with me and said that she was embarrassed by my nakedness and ‘squidgyness’.

I thought it was a nakedness thing so explained how she’d have to be more careful not to see me. Knock on doors etc.

It turns out that she doesn’t even want to see me in my underwear because I’m too squidgy.

She’s very upset that she felt she had to tell me which makes it worse.

I don’t know how I feel about this info or what to do about it.

Anyone options or experiences from anyone else who feels entitled to be naked in their own house if they want to be?

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 15/05/2022 19:22

When your children have expressed that they are uncomfortable with your nakedness, you stop being naked in front of them.

FlyingMasticatedParticles · 15/05/2022 19:24

You're not 'entitled' to be naked around anyone who doesn't want to see you naked. Even if it's your house.

multiplemum3 · 15/05/2022 19:25

Forcing nakedness on anyone, let alone children, is weird.

Northernsoullover · 15/05/2022 19:26

Time to cover up.

LondonQueen · 15/05/2022 19:27

multiplemum3 · 15/05/2022 19:25

Forcing nakedness on anyone, let alone children, is weird.

This.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 15/05/2022 19:28

The others are right, if your child is uncomfortable with you in a state of undress and have clearly told you this. You need to listen and not be naked/I'm underwear around the house. Just like if something made you uncomfortable, you'd hope people would respect that.

However, if she has said your squidgyness, you need to address this with her and make sure she's not developing issues (beyond discomfort) with body types.

IncompleteSenten · 15/05/2022 19:28

You only want views from people who also like to be nude around their children?

You aren't entitled to nudity around people who don't want to look at your naked body. Even if they are your children.

8 is too old to be bathing together. She's uncomfortable with it. You should respect that. You don't need to be naked around your children.

DPotter · 15/05/2022 19:29

At 8 yrs your DD will be starting to be aware of her body in a much more intimate way. You could be the most svelte super model and your DD would be asking you to cover up. It's got nothing to do with your body and everything to do with your DD.

Time to cover up

Thenorthwoman · 15/05/2022 19:30

Why on earth are you bathing and walking around an eight year old naked?

Blanketpolicy · 15/05/2022 19:30

It isnt about entitlement to be naked it is about respecting others right not to want to see it.

Hugasauras · 15/05/2022 19:32

Be naked in your own room or in bathroom on your own, tell your DD to knock if she doesn't want to see you getting changed, stop bathing with her when she's told you she doesn't like it. It's quite easy to not be randomly naked in front of people.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 15/05/2022 19:33

Would you be entitled to be naked around your house if your dd was a 14 year old ds?

she’s expressed her discomfort you respect that and cover up. Explain to her that the bathroom and your bedroom are private rooms where you are able to be naked so she should be respectful and knock in future if she doesn’t want to walk in on you undressed.

Bergamotte · 15/05/2022 19:33

Do you think she is becoming more aware of adult bodies, and what she is referring to as "squidginess" is your adult woman shape? Skinny children are very neutral, but a woman with curves may be triggering the discomfort around nakedness that we get at around your daughter's age. You wearing underwear would not disguise your adult shape.

Just a thought. She may not be ashamed of "fatness" at all, just struggling to find the words to describe a new, confusing discomfort.

Svara · 15/05/2022 19:34

I don’t know how I feel about this info or what to do about it.
Your daughter is feeling uncomfortable. Just put clothes on around her and let her bath alone.

MarshaBradyo · 15/05/2022 19:35

FlyingMasticatedParticles · 15/05/2022 19:24

You're not 'entitled' to be naked around anyone who doesn't want to see you naked. Even if it's your house.

I agree with this

anyone can say they would prefer not to have this

SomersetONeil · 15/05/2022 19:35

Why are you bathing with her?

Poor girl having to bring this up with you.

HalloHello · 15/05/2022 19:38

You say you're 'still bathing with' your children?! Why?! I have never bathed with mine, even as a baby!

Have a shower and give your kids some privacy FFS

MrsWooster · 15/05/2022 19:41

There’s lots of reactions here about op’s nakedness and it doesn’t seem like that’s the point of the thread..?

my DD started being aware of my size at about 8- unbothered by nudity but making comments about being thin /fat. I suspect this is the time when girls in particular are starting to hear and see the judgement that’s around female bodies, with all the awful implications that has for their self image throughout life.
I’d withdraw the nudity /bath times and, as pp said, put some firm boundaries around knocking on your bedroom etc, but more importantly I’d start some explicit chats about how all bodies deserve respect, about how strength and healthy bodies are better than thinness per se, and about how her body is going to change and become very different.
good luck, op!

Comedycook · 15/05/2022 19:41

Poor kids

Libertybear80 · 15/05/2022 19:41

That's just weird that you are walking around the house naked in front of your kids.

GrazingSheep · 15/05/2022 19:41

I don’t know how I feel about this info or what to do about it.

Surely you listen to your child and do as she asks. It’s not rocket science.

INeedNewShoes · 15/05/2022 19:42

I can't imagine fitting in the bath in a reasonable way with my small 5 year old! The mind boggles. The only time we wash together is in a shower cubicle after swimming.

My parents always walked between their bedroom and the bathroom naked and I hated it from a fairly young age.

I do walk around in my undies but the minute my DD shows any sign of discomfort about it I'll have to start making use of a dressing gown.

You might feel entitled to walk around your house naked but surely your DD is entitled not to be made to feel uncomfortable in her own house?

Lesperance · 15/05/2022 19:43

There are so many things that seem odd here. I don't think bathing with an eight year old is a great idea for a start. And why do you feel entitled to walk around naked? There's a problem here, and it's that you don't seem to take your child's remarks seriously. You are asking the wrong question. The question should not be, how do I carry on being naked around my kids: that's just weird especially when one has said that it makes them uncomfortable. The question that you should be asking is about whether you need to address the weight issue with your child, and I think you do.

Johnnysgirl · 15/05/2022 19:46

Jesus, just drop the entitlement already!
You're not entitled to force your kids to look at you naked, and it's downright weird that you're trying to force the issue when they've expressed their discomfort.

MsTSwift · 15/05/2022 19:47

Reckon even if you were Elle “TheBody” McPherson your 8 year old wouldn’t want to have a bath with you.

You seem stuck in the phase that your kids are pre schoolers - stop bathing with them. Ewww