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Original poster

Child suddenly asking me to cover up my fatness?

113 replies

Lou153Lou · 15/05/2022 19:21

My BMI is currently 29 and I am losing weight. My children are all skinny.

I’ve always been naked around the house before I get dressed in the morning and before bed or whatever. I still bath with my children.

Tonight my 8 year old daughter (eldest) was in the bath with me and said that she was embarrassed by my nakedness and ‘squidgyness’.

I thought it was a nakedness thing so explained how she’d have to be more careful not to see me. Knock on doors etc.

It turns out that she doesn’t even want to see me in my underwear because I’m too squidgy.

She’s very upset that she felt she had to tell me which makes it worse.

I don’t know how I feel about this info or what to do about it.

Anyone options or experiences from anyone else who feels entitled to be naked in their own house if they want to be?

OP posts:
audweb · 15/05/2022 19:50

8 seems an age where kids start wanting their own privacy, and not wanting to invade yours. I have no idea why you are still bathing with them.

just cover up around your kids, I doubt it’s your fatness, but if it is, just have a chat about how bodies are all different and they are all ok. But it’s ok for them to not want to see you naked anymore.

mackthepony · 15/05/2022 19:51

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This post was deleted for troll hunting

Svara · 15/05/2022 19:53

HalloHello · 15/05/2022 19:38

You say you're 'still bathing with' your children?! Why?! I have never bathed with mine, even as a baby!

Have a shower and give your kids some privacy FFS

I showered with my DS as it was just easier when he was a young child. He stopped fitting in the laundry sink at two (no bath). He started to shower alone at about four with me setting the water at the right temperature. So I don't see anything wrong with bathing with young children but eight is too old!

DaftyLass · 15/05/2022 19:53

How do you fit , with a kid, in a space that small?
It would be physically uncomfortable, and not nice at all.
Also, time to stay dressed around others

TuTuLemon · 15/05/2022 19:54

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This post was deleted for troll hunting

Quite

Snowiscold · 15/05/2022 19:56

You’re out of order. Your child has asked you to stop, so stop. And you may want to wander about naked, but other people in your household don’t want you to - have some respect for boundaries and living in a communal group.

rnsaslkih · 15/05/2022 19:57

How big is your bath?!

And you don't have the right to do what you want in your own house as there are other inhabitants to consider!

User48751490 · 15/05/2022 19:57

Walk around naked when they're asleep all you like - not in front of them. That's very inappropriate.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 15/05/2022 19:57

You are not entitled to be naked in front of anyone unless they have consented. It doesnt matter who owns the house.

You're not entitled to walk about in just underwear in front of anyone who has not consented. It doesnt matter who owns the house.

Who instigated the bathing together now? Do your children ask or do you tell them that it is bath time and they need to get in with you?

Your daughter has been clear. She is at the age when children start asking for privacy for themselves and from seeing you around the house with no clothes. You need to listen.

If she barges into your room then that's different. But she should feel safe to walk around her home without being worried that you'll come walking into a room naked. She should be able to have a bath without you climbing into it with her.

PleasantFucker · 15/05/2022 19:58

Very....strange.

Fullsomefrenchie · 15/05/2022 20:01

Well this is odd. Surely everyone knows when your child says you make them uncomfortable then you respect that and cover it up it’s not her place to be extra careful to avoid seeing you. Cover your self she doesn’t want to see your bits.

HalloHello · 15/05/2022 20:01

Svara · 15/05/2022 19:53

I showered with my DS as it was just easier when he was a young child. He stopped fitting in the laundry sink at two (no bath). He started to shower alone at about four with me setting the water at the right temperature. So I don't see anything wrong with bathing with young children but eight is too old!

Show quote history

Oh I definitely still bathe my 4 year old, or help her wash in the shower but I'm not naked in there with her!!

catfunk · 15/05/2022 20:03

Unless you have a super huge bathtub, she's probably uncomfortable about having your breasts and vulva right in her face.

gamerchick · 15/05/2022 20:05

You want stories from people who like to be naked around their kids? Just no. Knock it off if your kids have asked.

GeminiTwin · 15/05/2022 20:12

Why on earth are you bathing with an 8 year old child!?

Listen to your child, she's uncomfortable.

And stop bathing with her and respect her privacy.

Staynow · 15/05/2022 20:12

Having a bath with your kids, being naked around them, walking around naked is all fine and normal as long as they are comfortable and happy with it too. I think it's really healthy as it tends to stop them being really curious about what the opposite sex looks like naked (if they are the opposite sex) and also seeing what 'real' people look like before they have the chance to learn what the opposite sex looks like from porn. As soon as they're not comfortable though then it's time to respect that and end it.
I wonder if there's more too it though - could someone at school have said something mean 'your mum's fat' or something like that?

Feeellostindirection · 15/05/2022 20:12

How very odd that you feel the need at all to be naked whilst walking around the house. Your child has told you that don't like it so cover up, not hard.

SamMil · 15/05/2022 20:13

Unlike other posters, I don't think it is weird to bath with your nursery/primary aged kids. I think if they have said they don't want to see you naked, the time has come to stop though.

With regards to the "squidgy" bits, a conversation about how all bodies are different and there's no right or wrong body shape is fine. No need to make a big deal of it!

Pompom2367 · 15/05/2022 20:14

If your child is uncomfortable then you need to cover up she has expressed you being naked makes her uncomfortable and you have blamed her for this

Ellie56 · 15/05/2022 20:16

Can't believe you're still bathing with an 8 year old. She is far too old for that and needs her own privacy.

And yes time to cover up and stop imposing your nakedness on people who don't want to see it.

Autumndays123 · 15/05/2022 20:17

Having a bath with your 8 year old is quite frankly extremely strange. What on earth are the benefits of bathing together?

WhatsHoppening · 15/05/2022 20:18

I think sit down and talk to her about what her preferences are re: nudity around the house. Allow her to be clear about what she finds uncomfortable and if it is your weight discuss respecting different body types, and womens bodies and how they change over time. It could be worth getting her a book on puberty and body changes for her to read in her own time.

183T · 15/05/2022 20:20

Are we sure this thread doesn’t need to be reported? There is no way a decent mum would bath with an 8 year old and come onto mumsnet to ask opinions on if she should be naked around her child who has outright said they are uncomfortable. Very perverted if so.

pinthehammer · 15/05/2022 20:21

They're probably getting to an age where they're less comfortable with nudity. I was the same, both my DP walked around naked. I think I was about 7-8 when I started to feel uncomfortable with it.

My DM carried on with it, I just stayed in my room more. She was forever topless in the garden as soon at it hit about 23 degrees.

Not all humans are ok with it, even having grown up in a household where the parents are comfortable with it.

FuckingNoise · 15/05/2022 20:21

Just put some clothes on for fucks sake!