Child suddenly asking me to cover up my fatness?

[Lou153Lou]

My BMI is currently 29 and I am losing weight. My children are all skinny.

I’ve always been naked around the house before I get dressed in the morning and before bed or whatever. I still bath with my children.

Tonight my 8 year old daughter (eldest) was in the bath with me and said that she was embarrassed by my nakedness and ‘squidgyness’.

I thought it was a nakedness thing so explained how she’d have to be more careful not to see me. Knock on doors etc.

It turns out that she doesn’t even want to see me in my underwear because I’m too squidgy.

She’s very upset that she felt she had to tell me which makes it worse.

I don’t know how I feel about this info or what to do about it.

Anyone options or experiences from anyone else who feels entitled to be naked in their own house if they want to be?

I agree, the girl wouldn’t want to see her mothers tits, fanny and arse regularly eve if she was slim. This isn’t about weight and it’s not people being prudish.

anyone who thinks the ops right to get em all out in her own home trumps her child’s right to boundaries and to be comfortable in her own home is wrong, it’s not hard to put a pair of pants and a vest on, and it’s not hard not to get in their bath, and it’ not hard to respect the child’s boundaries and give her privacy.

some folks are so weird about nudity, I didn’t need to see my parents naked regularly to know what a naked body looked like. No kid ever grew up and said god I’m so glad my dad got his cock out regularly, or my mum got her fanny out, I’d never have known otherwise.

Nakedness works in context. For explain it doesn't work down the shop, but it does work in a shower (communal or otherwise). Doesn't work in a restaurant but does in a locker room etc.

Clearly being naked at home has worked just fine up til now. Doesn't matter if this setup wouldn't have worked for others, it has for OP.
We all know it's not as easy as that to just change habits, OP and her dd will get there.

We all know it's not as easy as that to just change habits

what, you mean the habit of not putting your knickers on? I’m not convinced that’s hard, I’m sure she remembers when she’s guests and manages it just fine.

I'm so surprised that people are saying they never see any naked adults in the gym changing rooms/showers! I've never been to a gym that didn't have a few naked strangers mind their own business in the communal area at any given time.

OP, nothing wrong with being naked around your kids if they are comfortable with it. Two issues here, I think: your daughter isn't comfortable with it any longer, and she specifically isn't comfortable with your perceived fatness. There's one part you quietly respect (don't be naked around her any more) and one part that you should probably gently address. She is going to be more aware of her and other's bodies, esp women, she is aware of beauty ideals and not measuring up to them. Adolescence is only going to enhance that. Working on body positivity with her is a long-term thing I reckon.

Yeah... don't get this one.
Weird.

This.

Cover up of course if she has told you she is uncomfortable.

But then have some talks with her about bodies, about what she might be seeing or hearing at school, on the internet etc., and what a healthy/ strong body means.

I think there is some pretty extreme judgement going on on this thread. Nudity in a nuclear family home is not 'perverted' as some PP have said. But if someone has told you they're not comfortable, you need to stop.

How do you know that you're not the one who is 'weird about nudity' though (serious question)?

People are just different.

My step dad used to be naked around the house all the time and it would make me really uneasy and anxious (he was also a horrible human)😥 I couldn’t verbalise it properly when I was younger as to why I didn’t want to see him naked but it has had an impact on me later on in life, weird how the human mind works! Maybe your child is just verbalising they don’t want to see you naked but don’t have a way of doing so.

Not wanting to see your parents naked beyond a certain age really is not being ‘weird about nudity’.

Do you want to tell the OP’s DD she is being weird about nudity?

Nope, no cubicles. But i have honestly never seen anyone shower in their bathing suit there. Its a women only changing room of course. I guess people who dont feel comfortable just shower at home. The changing area and the showers are around a corner, so only people in the shower have to see me and they are naked too.
im not in the uk and its quite normal here to shower naked in public 😀

i just think it shouldnt be such a big deal especially in the home around family. Of course in the OPs case when someone feels uncomfortable, she needs to make some changes. Im just really surprised at all these “why on earth would your children ever see you naked” comments.

Nakedness is a cultural thing! It is culturally the norm to bath with family in Japan.When I was living in Germany, people thought you were weird if you didn't shower naked at the swimming pool. Austrian saunas are mixed gender nude and it is considered unhygienic and rude to wear a swimming costume. So context is king.

For interest, check out this place. It's an enormous largely outdoor German spa near Munich (great fun). The largest side is naked, and colleagues go there after work for concerts and drinks (don't know if this has resumed post Covid), yes, you got it, they are completely naked. I really don't think that this means everyone who lives in Munich is an exhibitionist, they just aren't bothered!

www.therme-erding.de/en/tropical-spa-sauna/vitalityoasis/

I personally am unbothered by nudity but I try to follow cultural 'rules' - so I just got back from Austria and obviously was naked in the spa because this is polite. My kids are very relaxed about nudity (8 and 10). Obviously we'll follow their lead and things will change towards puberty, but that's about negotiating shared norm. I'm quite taken aback by the nudity reactions here!

Nudity is cultural thing - wow, what a revelation!

Not.

Nudity is obviously very much the ‘cultural’ norm in the OP’s house, in that the DD has been raised to think it utterly normal to be naked and bath together.

Shes still saying she doesn’t like it.

Why do people keep coming on to blather on about utter irrelevancies - like, random old them loves being naked, their kids love being naked, it’s completely normal to be naked in Timbuktu and the outer Hebrides.

Thats great. But it couldn’t matter less.

Just stop encouraging the OP to ignore what her daughter’s telling her.

pretty much everybody who has posted on this thread - me included - has said you should follow the child‘s lead. This could count in a number of areas of life, but it has repeatedly been emphasised.

But there is a huge amount of stuff about the ‚weirdness‘ of being naked - including stuff about how disgusting it is to see people showering naked at the gym, as though it is offensive.

There is also a huge amount of judgement of this woman - as though there aren‘t multiple ways of getting things slightly wrong with kids as they grow up and change. This seems to me to be directly related to squeamishness about nudity.