Self-care journey

[Startingover37]

As my username suggests, I feel like I'm 'starting over' at 37. Like a lot of people, the past 18mths have led to some unhealthy behaviours mostly overeating, and the closure of gyms and classes (which really work for me) hasn't helped. I am currently around 15 stone.
I can't just blame covid as my weight has slowly crept over the last few years and I fluctuate between getting really into eating healthy, losing weight and then, thinking Feck it, life's too short, eat the cake, drink the wine! I need a healthy balance and a better relationship with food.
I have realised that for me, overfocussing on food and on the scales sends me backwards....simply looking after myself better leads to me feeling better, having more energy and in turn losing weight. I know food is so important in that but for me, focussing on the self-care side seems to have helped before.
So, I'm posting this, both as accountabilty for myself and to see if any like-minded people want to join me on my journey? I hope so!
Starting simple this week...

1. Drink 2l of water each day
2. Walk 10,000 steps per day
3. At least 3 self-care activities per week e.g. a nice bath, paint my nails...anything that makes me feel better in my own body.

Any other suggestions welcome! Genuinely look forward to hearing from anyone in a similar boat!

Hi @Startingover37

I am trying to do the same thing - very strong history of yo yo dieting and it is (was!) getting worse and I am determined to break the cycle now and take care of myself properly.

I've cleaned up my diet now and ditched the booze (probably my biggest issue) and I can tell I am losing weight. I've found I am naturally moved to doing approx 16:8 most days, which helps. Lots of fruit and vegetables (and I do genuinely enjoy them! I've sorted out my fridge and make it a priority to do prep so I always have them on hand).

I will join you in upping my water intake (too much coffee still...). I can't do 10K steps (very frustratingly as I have plantar fasciitis in one of my feet which limits me - very much hoping to get rid of that in time by doing this too). Definitely want to do more self-care activities - I've found I've got the time/inclination/natural motivation now I'm not reaching for the wine at 6 pm!

I've recently finished reading Allen Carr's 'Good Sugar Bad Sugar' which I found surprisingly good for changing the way I think about foods. Early days on that though!

Hi @Paramaribo!
Delighted to have you on board. You sound like you are already making lots of positive changes, getting your food sorted and ditching alcohol, well done!
I really like fruit and veg too, I like good, healthy food but I also have a tendency to 'comfort eat' and think nothing of eating a multi-pack of chocolate bars in an evening. I found myself quite lonely over the past year and that seemed to become a much more common occurence.
Like you said, it's time to break the cycle for once and for all!

Thank you!

I'm looking back and cringing now at some of the things I've done over the years that have kept me trapped in this cycle. Sometimes I was even conscious of not really enjoying it and it being self destructive! I'm forcing myself to make the effort to unpick that too.

I'm looking for another book to read now - not about food/diets but something along the lines of learning to be kinder to myself/mindfulness. 'Good Vibes, Good Life' seems to have a lot of positive review...might start with that one. Have you tried any?

Oh I hear you about the self-destructive side and being trapped in a cycle, I was the very same. I would start to make good progress, feeling better, looking better, all feeling very do-able......and if I had a blip at all, I would be so hard on myself but then, give up on my efforts and go back to square one.Finished with that now, small steps to a healtheir mind and body.
The best advice I got was to start to speak to yourself and treat yourself as you would your best friend. I'm not all the way there but it makes a big difference!
I will look that book up. I like Dr. Rangan Catherjee's books, there is mention of food and exercise but also self-care, mindfulness etc. I recently bought The Self-care Habit by Fiona Brennan, I have only just started it but will let you know how I find it

Wrong name, it's actually called The Self-Love Habit

Thanks @Startingover37 - I've just bought it [The self-love habit] for my Kindle! I was about to get it on audible but the reviews weren't great for the audible version.

I bought Good vibes, good life for the kindle yesterday - I found myself flicking ahead, which isn't a good sign. It only cost just over £1 so not too bothered about that.

I looked into collagen supplements yesterday but I'm not convinced. I'm looking at a LED light mask instead now - probably one that has red light for anti-aging but also blue light to potentially help with my teenagers acne too. £££ though!

I'm making more of an effort today with water - I've put a new filter in the water jug (after not using it for years) and have come to the conclusion it is best out of the fridge. Took the dog on a lovely walk in the woods this morning, which was good for the spirits too.

I think treating yourself like your own best friend/much loved family member is a great place to start - and a very useful reminder.

I'm going to read a chapter now...

@Paramaribo You sound like you are doing great! Hope you find the book good, I'm planning on getting stuck into it this week.
I also started the day with a long walk in the forest, really enjoyed it and felt great after. My other win for the day is that I have arranged my exercise clases for 3 times a week for the next 6 weeks, all marked on the calendar. And I had a good long chat on the phone with a friend and arranged a break away with our group over the summer.
All in all, feeling good! Will up my water intake tomorrow as I wasnt the best today.
Your water jug with filter sounds like a great job.
Heading to bed shortly for a good night,'s sleep. Thanks for joining me on the thread, Hope you have a good week!

Sounds like you had a great day @Startingover37!

I've got a day off work today - which should be good but I know I will only enjoy it if I am semi-productive. It doesn't matter what in - just something.

It is keeping this up that is at the forefront on my mind - I am so fed up of yo-yoing, not just with my weight but with everything...not more extremes!

Hope you have a good week too!

I’m a few months into sorting my health (and my life in general!) out. I’ve somehow managed to shift 10 kg in that time, but I can’t say I’ve been trying that hard. I am a bit puzzled by that loss, but I’ll take it!

Anyway, here’s what’s worked for me, in order of importance:

1. Trying to get enough sleep. Everything is just so much easier when you’re not exhausted, including resisting rubbish food
2. Exercise. I know they say you can’t outrun a bad diet, but I personally find I’m much more motivated to eat healthily when I’m reasonably fit. I started with just walks, but soon moved onto other forms of exercise too
3. Nutrition. I’m more or less doing 16:8 and try to eat healthy, filling meals during that time. There’s the occasional snack, but the longer I’ve been doing this, the less interested I’ve become in eating crisps or cakes. It’s weird, but my taste buds have definitely changed.

Good luck on your journey! My top tips for you would be 1) to go slow. Introducing a new habit each week often seems to work better than changing everything all in one go. And 2) be kind to yourself. You may well have the occasional bad day when you fall back into old habits, but it doesn’t really matter if you eventually manage to get back on track.

Me too. I'm 15.5 stone. Very overweight for height. I'm obsessed with food. Ihave an over eating addiction.

@Jessica60 Welcome to the thread, hopefully we can help each other!

@Crazzzycat Thanks so much for talking about your journey. It's funny you mentioned sleep as my sleep has been all over the place lately. Will definitely need to improve that!!
I totally agree about exercise, it just makes me feel better, more energetic but need to tackle the food side of it too. 16:8 seems to be really working for yourself and @Paramaribo....maybe I should give it a try.
Thanks everyone for getting on board, here's to a great week!

Can I join please? I'm on another thread for what I am following (Louise Parker Method) but part of my journey is very much the self care angle, I'm a terrible emotional eater. I have been doing a mood tracker journal to help me see my triggers etc and this is definitely helping.

@ElvenDreamer Please do!! The more the merrier! I'm an emotional eater too. It's hard to break the habit but it is doable, the mood journal is a great idea!

It's all intertwined really, mind, body and soul. The more we look after ourselves as a whole, the better everything functions!

I am meeting a friend tomorrow to do up a nutrition plan, my biggest challenge is around sugary food but I'm determined to make the changes to feel better in myself. We got this ladies! 💪

Hello @Crazzzycat @Jessica60 and @ElvenDreamer!

I hope the nutrition plan planning goes well tomorrow @Startingover37

I am also 15 st something (I think probably just under 15.5 st). I was 11 st this time two years ago (but 16 st about 8 months before that...). Hence why I am going the self care permanent diet changes rather than dieting now. I know it will be slower but what is the point in blasting it off just go gain it all back? I may do some mini blasts but not until my baseline way of eating (and more to the point baseline not drinking white wine nearly every day) is more established in a few months.

Allen Carr still seems to be working for me - I'm just not interested in 'bad sugar' beyond the odd square of dark chocolate. Strange but true...

@Paramaribo Thank you! Just want to take back a bit more control re food and to feel like I have a plan, rather than winging it and then giving up.

I'm completely with you with regard to doing it slowly, small changes but lasting changes.

I actually got half way through Allan Carr's audiobook on sugar during the first lockdown. I was really enjoying it and definitely realising how addictive it is and how I associate it with calm, comfort etc but these days, I eat a bar of chocolate, I don't even enjoy it, I tell myself I'm making myself feel better but it's the total opposite.

I'm off to bed with The Self-love habit, hopefully will pick up a few gems.

Morning all! I hope you all got off to a good start? You sound very organised with your nutrition planning @Startingover37. That’s impressive!

I’ve been waking up ridiculously early over the last week or so. I’ve been trying to stay in bed and keep my fingers crossed that I fall back asleep again, but that’s been futile so far. So this morning I got up and had a cup of tea in the garden and listened to, and watched, all the birds that were flying around. It was actually really relaxing, so now I’m tired but chilled, instead of just tired 😄

@Crazzzycat I am laughing here at you calling me organised!! The reason I have asked my friend's input is because of how disorganised I have become. I have great intentions before my weekly shop each week but don't meal plan, come home with similar foods to what I always buy but end up popping into the shop during the week for things I forgot....and also end up impulse buying chocolate etc. That is why I need to plan!

I will be telling him that I'm not looking for a diet, or weightloss plan though. Just healthy eating!

I am the same re the early morning waking. Your morning sounds so relaxed tho! I'm off work in a few weeks and looking forward to some mornings like that.

I know the feeling @Startingover37 😳 Having a plan is a great start!

I did pretty well today, if I do say so myself. Healthy food and a fair bit of exercise. I try to go for a walk at lunchtime every day. I find it really helps to “reset” my head. Today’s walk was a bit hot though, but still enjoyable (just about!) 🥵

How’s everyone else getting on?

Hi all,

I hope everyone is having a good week so far! Being honest, I'm not fully in the zone re healthy food yet but feel better after making a plan and I know I'll feel way better once I am eating better. Will do an organised shop at the weekend.

I am doing ok exercise-wise and most importantly, I slept better the last two nights than I have in ages, I genuinely can't remember sleeping deeply over the past year! That is a major win so I'm determined to keep it up!

I have started some little self care things (which I used to do before but stopped) such as lighting a nice candle, relaxing music in the background, reading before bed rather than being on my phone (deleted online dating apps....that's a whole other thread!😂) I think all these things are contributing to better sleep.

@Crazzzycat You are really inspiring me, you seem so on top of things!

@Paramaribo @Jessica60 @ElvenDreamer Hope you are all having good week so far?

I've got a day off work today (I work pt) which would be nice but I always feel slightly overwhelmed by the weight of all the jobs I could do! I know that more than anything getting something, anything, productive, done will be best thing I can do for myself. I'll put it here - want to get my bedroom and ensuite deepish cleaned and the stair carpet washed - looking at that nice and clean in the days to come will be like having a little hug.

We had a BBQ last night - I made a salad and then had lovely roasted veg and some sea bass (don't usually eat meat but DH bought too much for himself) on top. It was lovely. I honestly enjoy BBQ more now that I eat like that and don't drink - before a BBQ would be a side salad with the usual fare of burgers, bangers, white bread and white wine.

Hope you have another good day today @Crazzzycat!

How to you feel about your food plan now @Startingover37?

I've made absolutely not progress with those books...yet I am thinking about getting either the Allen Carr - I thought an alcohol one (even though that isn't an issue right now) or the emotional eating one! I will make myself read one of the books I already have first before coming back to this!

@Paramaribo Hope you have a lovely day off...hope the sun is still shining where you are!

I identify so much with what you wrote about being off, I often struggle between switching off/relaxing or all the jobs I should be doing.....so much so I neither really relax or get the jobs done!

You will feel great when you get the bedroom and stairs carpet sorted though.
Your BBQ sounds so lovely too!

My suggested food plan was a bit more severe/weightloss orientated and while I am 100% sure it would work and I could do it, I also know I would not keep it up in the long term! We tweaked it a bit so that while the progress will probably be slower, it will be easier to stick to long term.

I have come to the realisation since starting all this that I had actually become a bit depressed over the past year. Still functioned ok with work, family and general day-to-day stuff, was even ok with exercise but definitely lost my motivation, pride in myself, the want to do things for myself. This really feels like a turning point!

Thanks everyone for joining the thread, it's a great motivator hearing your stories!

I know what you mean about losing motivation @Startingover37, this last year has hit everyone in different ways and for me I've lost so much confidence in myself. I have an interview this week for some extra work (I'm self employed) and I've nearly pulled out so many times, but I'm making myself do it, just to show myself I can!
@Paramaribo I get you about BBQs. My husband over caters ridiculously, but since taking the decision to eat sensibly and fairly lightly, I find them less stressful.
So self care wise I am putting focus on enjoying my exercise, I'm more likely to maintain that way. So I've made a point of treating myself to some really lovely patterned leggings etc that make me smile when I put them on. It's a silly thing, but it helps!

@ElvenDreamer Good on you for not dropping out the interview! Best of luck with it, keep us posted!

Wierdly, I've always worn plain black leggings for exercise but ordered my first ever patterned pair this week too...it's the little things! I'm off for my gym session now...

@Startingover37, I’m glad you feel you’re at a turning point. You’ve got this! 💪

I hope you had a good day @Paramaribo and managed to find some time to relax too.

I love the idea of uplifting gym wear @ElvenDreamer. Sounds like a good strategy to me!

I think my lack of sleep is finally starting to catch up with me. I’ve been feeling exhausted all day and absolutely ravenous too, which I’m sure must be related. As a result, I didn’t have the best day food wise, but considering the circumstances I think it was good enough!

I felt too tired for “proper” exercise, but did push myself to go for a walk. After the first few minutes, when I seriously considered turning around and going home, it turned into a lovely walk. It’s been raining here for most of the day and the air felt just so lovely and fresh ☺️

I hope the interview went well @ElvenDreamer!

How are you sleeping now @Crazzzycat? Hope you've managed to get some proper rest.

I've been forced into doing bursts of activity followed by relaxing/desk work because of my foot. I miss the days when I could just do a massive deep clean of the house over two days.

The bottom-line is I need to get my foot better - I've tried all sorts and whilst they do help I think that losing my excess weight is the only thing that is going to bring about a permanent change (despite not having it in my right foot at this weight). My foot/weight is really stopping me from living the life I want to live.

I'm aware that I am getting bored of what I am eating and that leads to less good choices, so I want to have to make a big effort to increase my repertoire of healthy go-to food whilst still keeping it simple.

I ended up having a pizza (veggie but still loads of cheese etc) on Thu evening as I just wanted something different and there was my husband saying he was getting one... Ok, I didn't have chips or wine with it as I would usually (it was a take-away) but I was still conscious that this wasn't really what I wanted to be eating - it was just convenient. I regretted it the next day but what can I do other than learn? It is just like the BBQ...and realising I prefer the healthier options!

Have you started with your new food plan yet @Startingover37?