Self-care journey

[Startingover37]

As my username suggests, I feel like I'm 'starting over' at 37. Like a lot of people, the past 18mths have led to some unhealthy behaviours mostly overeating, and the closure of gyms and classes (which really work for me) hasn't helped. I am currently around 15 stone.
I can't just blame covid as my weight has slowly crept over the last few years and I fluctuate between getting really into eating healthy, losing weight and then, thinking Feck it, life's too short, eat the cake, drink the wine! I need a healthy balance and a better relationship with food.
I have realised that for me, overfocussing on food and on the scales sends me backwards....simply looking after myself better leads to me feeling better, having more energy and in turn losing weight. I know food is so important in that but for me, focussing on the self-care side seems to have helped before.
So, I'm posting this, both as accountabilty for myself and to see if any like-minded people want to join me on my journey? I hope so!
Starting simple this week...

1. Drink 2l of water each day
2. Walk 10,000 steps per day
3. At least 3 self-care activities per week e.g. a nice bath, paint my nails...anything that makes me feel better in my own body.

Any other suggestions welcome! Genuinely look forward to hearing from anyone in a similar boat!

Hi everyone, hope you've all had a good week. @Crazzzycat , food poisoning, you have my utmost sympathy 😫

I've decided to focus on a couple of things this week, 1 is drinking more water as I've got a bit slack there, the other is less time playing on my phone, as that makes me generally less active, headachy, grumpy etc.
Food wise this has been a good week, I'm loosely following the Louise Parker Method which is a great way to eat tbh and I feel good when I'm 100% in it and love the food I'm eating. Junk food snacking has been my nemesis, so this week I've been doing some meditation around making healthier choices and making a point of eating more slowly, trying to appreciate anything I choose so I don't just cram too fast and too much. Yesterday I knew I was going to want to eat a ton of rubbish just because I was tired, Sat afternoons are bad for me, so I decided to go and have a power nap instead, now I know that's not always doable, but I've decided I'll do it on days I can and try not to fell guilty!

I'll catch up on posts later but checking in for now. I've had a boozy weekend away, a few takeaways etc. I'm home now feeling exhausted and dehydrated. The plan for the rest of today is lots of water and an early night.

New aims for this week:

1. Find a meditation course to do
2. Add in exercise - the rain might not allow for C25k so perhaps a pilates dvd
3. Paint my fingernails - manicure at salon or diy job at home
4. No alcohol

These are in addition to current aims:

1. Drink at least 1.5l water daily
2. Moisturise after each shower
3. Moisture face before bed.

I like those aims @purplegirl13!

I've decided to become much stricter with my diet for a while and really make an effort to shift some weight - when I get fed up with that I plan to switch to maintenance calories for my goal weight for a while before going in again. I'll do both 'phases' with IF as I just find it easier that way to stick to the calories or whatever I am doing.

To do this I have to keep myself busy, and just sitting watching TV in the evenings won't cut it, so I am hopeful that the self-care activities I say I want to do will actually start to happen too...and it become a habit! We'll see...

@Crazzzycat Thanks for that info. It sounds doable and definitely something I will introduce, even as you suggested on a smaller scale at first.

@ElvenDreamer I looked up louise parker, it sounds like such a sensible plan too, it incorporates so much of what a lot of us have been working on implementing! Junk food is also my issue but I find when I am living better in general, it becomes less of an issue. Good on you taking a power nap, no need to feel guilty at all!

@purplegirl13 You have some great aims for the week, I haven't got my nails done in so long...i rarely do them but love them when I do....I might copy you on that one!

@Paramaribo You sound motivated from a food point of view. I totally agree about keeping yourself busy with self care stuff rather than watching tv if that's an old habit you want to break.

I had a great training session this evening. Pushed myself harder and did better than last week. Now to conquer the food side of things! 🤞

I'm caught up on posts now...

@Crazzzycat I only like exercising in the morning, I find it really sets me up for the day. Re nuts - I portion them into 30g portions to stop me overeating, I've also starting adding some flaked almonds to my breakfast of yogurt and berries as another way of consuming them as part of a meal instead on on its own. I hope you are feeling better after your bout of food poisoning - keep up with the water intake!

@Startingover37 some good suggestions from crazzzycat on IF/calories etc.
My weight gain was down to lack of movement and portion control/ too many refined carbs - lots of cheese and pasta. I have been calorie counting since March although am taking a break from it now to see if I can be more mindful.

@ElvenDreamer I am trying to charge my phone in another room during the day so I don't mindlessly reach it out of habit. I am also thinking about leaving it in another room overnight as that might help with my sleeping. Power naps are a great idea - I just end up napping for 4hrs+ though!

@Paramaribo could you start eating at maintenance calories for your goal weight and see if you lose? It might be slow going but possibly more sustainable? Is knitting/crochet something you would like to try as that might be a deterrent to evening snacking?

I am back home after a few days away and I wasn't feeling well before then so I'm trying to focus on tidying up today.
I have a load of laundry on the go, dishes all washed - will need to meal plan for the week

I am thinking of starting the 'managing anxiety' course on Headspace. I did consider the 'mindful eating' one but I've started to listen to a podcast about binge eating so thought something different was needed

Thank you @Startingover37 and @purplegirl13. I was eating maintenance calories for my goal weight and was losing weight slowly. I was happy with that then I started to slip again by not bothering to count (fine for a fews days and I was probably under for half of them) but then things like wine made a reappearance...

I feel horrible at this weight - just losing a stone makes a big difference to how I feel (even though it is barely noticeable to anyone else!) so I think it will motivate me more to get some off a bit quicker first.

I find doing IF and really cutting back easier in many ways. I plan to do that for 2-12 weeks and then up the calories to goal weight maintenance (max most days with the odd more flexible day) but still do IF (18:6 seems to be the ratio I find easiest) for another 2-12 weeks before doing the cycle again. The length of each phase very much governed by how I feel on it.

I used to knit but haven't done that for years! I would quite like to get into sewing, so will look for some inspiration there. I found the xbox very useful for stopping evening snacking back in March (to my massive surprised having never played the xbox before) and I lost a very good amount of weight that month! Self care, sewing and xbox might be a good combo!

You're doing brilliantly with the exercise @Startingover37!

Hope you managed to get the tidying up done today @purplegirl13 and the meal planning went well! The headspace course sounds like a good plan - even just picking up one new technique/tip can have a real positive impact.

I got some new bluetooth headphones at the weekend - which are far more comfortable and convenient that my others. I am planning a lot more time listening to Audible books, podcasts and music!

Teeth brushed and face washed/moisturised this eve. Only drank 500ml water today.

Must try harder tomorrow.

How are you all getting on?

@purplegirl13 It's all steps in the right direction! Well done! Add in another thing tomorrow, like the water and build on that.

I know I used to focus more on what I hadn't done but I have completely changed my mindset and now, try to celebrate all the wins, however small they seem!

I am flying with my exercise, I can feel my fitness inproving already, working out 3 times a week and walking 3 times too. I am meditating each morning. I'm sleeping better and I feel a lot better in myself, a lot happier and more energetic!

I still need to up my water a bit and definitely food still has room for improvement (still a bit of a sugar addict) but I feel good!

Hope everyone is doing ok x

Id love to join if that's ok? I have more to lose than you but if I focus on that I end up getting overwhelmed and giving up! Same issues re focussing on diet and food too much so I have started this journey too, but very slowly as I have some underlying health issues. Im feeling very frustrated by it all and eager to start making more changes and to push things along a bit

@MeadowLines Of course, delighted to have you join, the more the merrier! It's not an easy journey, especially with underlying conditions but slow and steady wins the race! Looking after ourselves better is a win anyway.

We are all following our own journey, doing it in our own way. Focussing on building on little positive steps in the right direction rather than going all gung-ho for a while and then giving up.

The ladies here have inspired me, so many different ideas and everyone is so supportive of each other. I have found it really helpful to check in, it makes me feel more accountable and makes me reflect on what is working and what I need to work on. I really hope you will find the thread helpful too

@Startingover37 you are so right, I should absolutely be thinking about what I did do, not what I didn't. So on that note, I did force myself out yesterday for a walk to go and get groceries which I'm pleased with. You are doing so well with exercise!

I am feeling low today but have forced myself up and out of bed, and changed bedding and washed the dishes. I can let things slide when feeling low and then I get overwhelmed. I have been looking into The Organised Mum Method and try to do what are called 'level 1 jobs' each day.

For me that means, the absolute minimum I make myself do:
Pull back covers to air the bed
Wash dishes/put them away
Wipe down stove and all counters
Empty rubbish/recycling
Quick wipe of toilet and bathroom sink.

And ideally these bits as well:
Vacuum/mop the kitchen and bathroom floor
Vacuum hallway and living room rug
Aim for a load of laundry
Put any clean laundry away

The idea is short and often, and it's easier to maintain. Haven't quite got to the other bits, where you dedicate 30mins each day to an ear/room on top of the level one jobs but will try today as 'bedroom day' since I've changed the bedding.

Sorry that was longer than I expected!

*area, not ear!

I am going to be very kind to myself today and not worry about the fact I 'should' be looking for a job/being productive. I don't have the headspace for it and think tidying up my environment will help me much more.

That sounds like a great plan @purplegirl13 and you have already done a lot today. Good for you!

I said upthread, I don't know if you saw it, but someone said to me a while back 'you need to start to talk to yourself like you would to a really good friend'. I was going through a tough time and looking back, was so incredibly hard on myself. All I could see were the imperfections, the bits I hadn't done right, rather than see all that I had achieved.

Ironically, I would never speak to some else in such a critical way and I wouldn't have accepted a friend being so constantly critical and negative to me and about me but I accepted it from myself.

It really was a gamechanger for me, and while like everybody, I have good days and bad days, I am learning to be much kinder to myself and not be so bloody hard to myself. It's a much nicer place to be. You seem to be finding the same.

Cleaning your house/environment is being productive, hugely productive in fact and will be so good for you too. Hope it goes really well for you and that you can have a lovely relaxed evening when you are finished.

@Startingover37 you're so lovely! I am quite hard on myself and I really have to listen to what my body needs. I have a chronic condition, and can sometimes feel fatigued so I need to remind myself I'm not being' lazy'. No-one else is judging me but me.

I have done half my 'level 1 jobs' and set a timer for 30 mins where I just did what I could in the bedroom until the timer went off. I feel so much better for it

I've had an early dinner so am going to brush my teeth and do evening skincare routine. This has been a game changer, realising I don't need to wait until 'bedtime' to brush my teeth/wash my face.

@purplegirl13 Sounds like you are on a roll, well done!!

Im going to make a better plan for some nice lunches, and Im going to try a protein treatment on my hair as well as its a bit dry and dull.
@Startingover37 you make a great point about how we talk to each ourselves.
@purplegirl13 I have started following a similar cleaning/organising method recently too. I havent been particularly proactive with it yet, but I do feel if I just get on with it my days would go better!

@MeadowLines, I had a fair bit of weight to loose when I started this journey. What worked for me was to not worry about the end goal, but break it up into smaller more manageable chunks of 5 kg. That way, I can feel good about what I’m achieving along the way, rather than be focussed on that end goal which still seems such a long way away.

@purplegirl13, you are doing great! It can be so hard to motivate yourself when you’re feeling low, but you got up and did what needing doing. That’s a massive achievement in itself.

Glad to hear you are doing well @Startingover37! You are so right that we need to be kind to ourselves. I don’t know why that is so hard to do, but sometimes it really is almost impossible to stop those negative voices 😣

I had my 2nd COVID jab yesterday so today has been a little different than usual. My body felt like it had almost boundless energy, but my head felt the complete opposite. So, I’ve spent half the day sitting on the sofa eating chocolate and watching crap tv and the other half going for walks and doing some fairly intense cardio. It’s been a bit of a weird day!

@Crazzzycat I decided to follow your method of not focussing on the end goal and instead, breaking things down into more achievable chunks. (I can tend to give up if I feel like I'm not seeing results after putting a lot of effort in.)

So, when we first started this, I gave myself a very achievable goal for the first 4 weeks, and for every 4 weeks until Christmas. Each goal seems very small and doable but altogether will make such a difference overall.

I'm only just over a kg away from my first goal (without changing much in my diet, just cutting back on overeating chocolate and upping my exercise) and it feels so doable and makes me want to achieve it and more.

Thanks @Crazzzycat

@MeadowLines good call on the hair treatment, I may copy you on that front in the next week

I agree with @Crazzzycat small manageable goals, and I found it helpful to not have time limits, it would add extra stress I didn't need.

@Crazzzycat how are you feeling today?

I took a sleeping tablet last night and have had a good 12hrs sleep. I am not feeling so low today, and as soon as my phone is charged up, I'm going out to do a C25K 'run'.

It is my weigh in day and I'm pleased to have lost 0.4lb, down a total of 11.6lbs in 17 weeks. Slow and steady.

Wishing you all a good day, and don't forget to drink some water!!

Well done @purplegirl13!! Good reminder about the water, I need to be more mindful of my water intake.
I also need to get back to earlier bedtimes because my fatigue and body aches are starting to get worse. I told the children today that we are all going to bed on time tonight, I just need to actually blooming well do it. I dont know why I keep staying up watching pants tv when I know I'll feel frustrated and bleugh the next day.

@Crazzzycat and @Startingover37 thank you for that, I will come up with a goal that is achievable to get me started!

Hi all, hope you're all doing well. I've had a somewhat erratic week in terms of what I've achieved, certainly food wise it's been a binge eating disaster if epic proportions sadly. I'm continuing my journaling though and that is really helping me see patterns in what I do so trying to see it positively as a learning experience. @purplegirl13 thank you for the water reminder too, I find if I remember to make a jug in the morning it's a visual reminder throughout the day so I need to just do that more often I guess! Are you following TOMM by any chance? I'm definitely finding that trying to create a calmer environment around me helps my headspace and therefore feeds into everything I do.
Big positive self care thing I did for myself this week was book a Drs appointment, really been struggling with fatigue, brain fog, lack of concentration. I suspect perimenopause and have decided to be proactive and get checked out, trying not to always put myself last in the family priorities!
Those who meditate, what are your favourite apps or tracks to listen too pls? Really feel I should make more time for this. (Bonis points if they're free lol)

I’m so glad to hear breaking your goal up into smaller chunks is helpful for you @Startingover37. It sounds like you’re doing great!

Well done on that loss @purplegirl13! I think I’ve had a pretty easy time with my COVID jabs. After the 2nd one, I just felt a little bit dizzy and unable to think for a day or so, but the physical side effects were really minor. Not even worth taking a paracetamol for!

I hope you managed to get to bed on time @MeadowLines. It’s often easier said than done, but over these last few months I’ve come to the conclusion that getting enough sleep really is the foundation of feeling better about pretty much everything!

@ElvenDreamer, sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with binge eating a bit this week. I think you’re doing the right thing by trying to understand why this happens. That really is the first step to changing things.

For meditation, I use the headspace app. It’s not free unfortunately, but there is a lot of content on that app, including courses to deal with specific topics (e.g. dealing with anxiety, mindful eating etc).

Before I signed up to Headspace, I watched quite a few videos from Dr Deepak Chopra. He does a different type of meditation from Headspace. Headspace is more like a stripped down, easily accessible Western version of meditation. Dr Deepak Chopra’s version is a little more spiritual. As long as that doesn’t bother you, he’s really worth looking into, especially as he has a freeYouTube channel with daily meditations:

www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdrUeeBIMbrJ9JwqU7xB7xu3mon2WXeDp

@purplegirl13 Wow, that is a great loss, well done! And I'll add to the thanks for the water reminder...definitely need to up my intake!

@MeadowLines Hope you had a good night's sleep, it really is so vital to get enough sleep and we rarely do, no wonder our bodies don't feel good running on empty!

@ElvenDreamer I use the Calm app, also not free but not massively expensive I think although I can't remember exactly what it costs.
Sorry to hear you are not having the best week food-wise but as you said, you are getting to the root of it by journalling and visiting the doctor is always a good step. Hormones play such a massive role for us.

I had been doing so well and really feeling on top of things....and this weekend, I have been hit by such an intense feeling of loneliness. It hit me quite hard but I'm trying to just sit with it and realise it will pass and comfort myself in ways other than food.

@bossybloss @Paramaribo @Jessica60 @Crazzzycat Hope you are all doing well and enjoying your weekend x

@MeadowLines did you get an early night? Being tired affects our mood, food choices, energy levels so a proper night sleep is so important. I say that as an insomniac!

@ElvenDreamer try and start afresh today and not worry so much what has gone before, the journalling sounds like it is helping identify the patterns which can only be a good thing. Well done on making the GP appt. I recently went to the dentist after some time, eye test next on the list to sort out as well as a smear test. Thankfully smear test is due and not overdue.
Yes, it is TOMM I am trying but haven't quite put it in practice. I'm in a small 1-bed flat so need to be brutal, many bags have gone to the charity shop recently though!
Re meditation apps, I use Headspace and have recently tried Calm (I will subscribe to Calm once I'm earning). Subscription offers can be found online so I'll dig those out for you. I believe both offer a free 7 day trial so check them out and see if you have a preference.

@Startingover37 I feel you on the loneliness, it will pass, you know this. This is the perfect time for you to pop a face mask on, hair mask or paint your nails. Give yourself a bit of self-care because you are worth it.

I posted yesterday saying not feeling so low, and then 3 hours later I had a 4hr nap. I am struggling with my mood, but fighting it. So I'm going to take my own advice and pop some oil in my hair, apply a sheet face mask and watch something very lighthearted. Possibly even get a takeaway this evening.